Chapter 5: Sydney's POV

No matter how tough I've been acting, this shit hurts like hell. Seeing it over and over that the man you once loved has never had you in heart is devastating.

The tears just keep coming, no matter how hard I try to hold them back.

Damn him! Damn her! Damn everybody!

Knowing that they were creeping around is one thing, seeing them creep around is another thing. It just brings me back to how I so desperately fought for his attention.

Fought for him to kiss me. Fought for him to notice how perky my breasts were, thinking that if I got him to notice it, maybe he'd touch me the way a man is supposed to touch his wife.

I reduced myself constantly for him. But for what?

Seeing him and Georgia together, the way his body language shifted, the way he leaned into her as if she was the only source of oxygen in the room...that's a different kind of death to me.

Funny, it hasn't even been a week since his father died. His father, the man whose love for Georgia ultimately led to his death. And there they were, trading saliva in public before he even has a grave.

"Stop it," I whisper to my reflection in the mirror. "Stop being the victim."

I clean my eyes and take a huge sniff. It's time to start thinking with my head, and not my heart.

It's been three days since they pulled that stunt at the café, and boy, the Internet has been blowing up about it since today.

But also, in the space of the same three days, I met a lawyer that helped me draw up the divorce papers. I've signed it, and mailed it to his office. So hopefully, he should be receiving it any second now.

My phone beeps, and I check the notification.

"NEWTON SCANDAL: BILLIONAIRE HEIR CAUGHT KISSING WIDOWED STEPMOTHER?!"

Honestly, what were they thinking pulling that stunt in public? As someone that cares so much about his image, Deckard folded into stupidity for that woman.

My phone rings and it's Deckard's grandmother. Of course, she's already seen the news.

Poor woman lost her son just says ago, only to find that her grandson is having an affair with her son's wife?

"Sydney!" her voice cracks over the line, the very second I pick up. "Tell me my grandson hasn't spit on his father’s memory! Tell me he hasn't broken his marriage vows with you, oh God!"

Gradnma Newton has always loved me like a daughter, so this is equally heartbreaking for her as well. But I don't want her to worry. She's already been dealing with a lot as it is.

I take a deep breath and look towards the window, suppressing the pain in my voice. "Grandmother, please, try to stay calm. You know how the media is. They're always looking for stories to tell. This is probably just fake news, okay?"

"But I don't think it's fake." She says adamantly. "I know that woman. She can wrap any man around her fingers with her devilish charms! She's killed my son and now she wants my Deckard!"

"No, Grandma. It's very fake, okay? Just don't watch the news and I'll get Deckard to prove it to you, okay? Take your meds and rest."

She sighs and stays quiet for a while. "But you're doing alright, my sweet girl?"

I can't help but smile, even though my eyes have become blurry with tears again. "I'm fine, I swear."

When I hang up, I sit still for a moment, thinking everything over. My heart hurts, my head hurts, I feel so broken, rejected and alone. How did I even get here?

I finally get moving, pulling my suitcases out from the top of the closet and begin stuffing my clothes inside.

I leave all the things that Deckard bought me over the space of the three years we've been married, and take only the things I fully own. Things that won't remind me of him.

By the time I'm done packing, the sun has already begun to set and the room is almost empty.

I roll my suitcases into the closet for the time being, just as a knock sounds on my door.

"Syd?"

It's Deckard. I contemplate pretending to be asleep, but then I decide against it. Let me hear what he has to say because surely, he knows I've seen the news by now.

"Come in."

He pushes the door open and he looks stressed. His hair is tousled, and his tie is slack. His eyes breeze around the room, then he frowns.

"Are you traveling?"

I shake my head. "Just uh... rearranging things."

He eyes me like he doesn't believe me, looking around the near empty room like something about it bothers him. Then he immediately moves on from it and throws his coat on the chair.

"I know you've seen the news."

"The news?" I know exactly what he's talking about, but I play daft for my sake, because even thinking about it is driving me insane.

"Come on," he runs a hand through his hair impatiently. "The one about Georgia and I."

"Oh...that news."

"Listen, they're not true, okay? The photos are misleading and you know the media would do anything to make money out of it. You know I won't do that to you, right?"

"I don't know, Deckard. I don't know what you won't do to me. You've changed so much, and it's hard to believe you're the same man that loved me once."

His eyes soften, and he lets out a broken breath, running his hands through his hair again.

An emotion flashes in his eyes, but it's gone just as quickly as it came. "It's a visual trick, Syd. It didn't happen."

"A visual trick," I repeat slowly so he knows I'm not buying it one second. "I saw the photos, Deckard."

"Then you saw the obvious photoshop!" He snaps harshly, and I gasp at the sudden volume of his voice.

His eyes widen as if he just realised what he did, and he looks very repentant. "I'm sorry...Syd, I'm so sorry, that came out wrong. You know I never mean to yell at you. It's just..."

He looks at me with pleading eyes, like he wants to say something else and mean it, but then he continues in a much softer voice now. "You know Georgia, you know how she is. She's emotional and doesn't have any sense of personal boundaries. She was upset about a memory of my father and she leaned in. The camera just happened to catch it at the worst second, okay? It's a misunderstanding."

She was upset and yet, they were both smiling? Standing in front of me, his eyes looking deep into mine, and he still has the guts to lie blatantly to my face?

My throat closes up as my eyes blur again with new tears, but I fight to keep them from falling and smile.

"It's okay."

"Good," he sighs, wiping sweat from his brow. "Because I need your help to fix this."

"Did you get the delivery I sent to the office?" I ask suddenly.

He blinks, confused at the sudden change of topic. "No. I haven't been back to the company today. You know Georgia and Riley have been having a hard time, so I had to be there for them. You understand that, right?"

I smile again. "I understand perfectly."

I understand that I am a ghost in this house, and they will always be before me in his life.

He smiles back, relieved. But then he tenses up again. "Look, I have a favor to ask you."

"Of course, anything."

"The uh...the stock price is already dipping because of the scandal. It's causing more damage than I thought and it might permanently ruin the Newton name. And grandmother... Georgia has already angered her enough so if this gains more traction, it could ruin her."

I tilt my head. "Oh, that's bad."

"I need you to issue a statement. I need you to say that the woman in the photos is you, and everything was just manipulated for news."

My heart hammers in my ears. He wants me to what??

"You want me," I say slowly, "to lie and say I was the one kissing you in that café?"

"It makes sense," he defends, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, something he does when he's nervous. "You’re both slim, you both have that designer look. With the sunglasses and the lighting, no one can prove it wasn't you. It saves the company, and it puts the rumors to bed."

"Except I'm not blonde?"

"You could have had your hair dyed." He moves closer to me, then gets on his knees and takes my hand in his, kissing my fingers. "Come on baby, you said you'd do anything. Please, just help me."

Help him.

"And Georgia?"

He hesitates, as if only now thinking about what he's really asking me to do, and the absurdity of the situation.

Then he sighs. "You're helping everyone. Including Grandma."

A man so concerned about his reputation. It makes me wonder if he would so easily sign the divorce papers? I mean, if we get divorced, wouldn't it confirm the truth to the public?

Would he sign the papers knowing it will ruin his image and Georgia's life?

"I'll do it," I finally reply and he looks surprised, then a smile breaks on his face.

"Honestly, for a second there, I thought you'll get all jealous and make a scene. I knew I could count on you, Syd."

I nod. "I just hope that when I need a favor from you in the future, you'll be just as straightforward and helpful as I am now."

His smile still drops a little as confusion sets in. It only lasts a few seconds then his attention is drawn to my face, as he takes it in his hands and studies me.

"Have you been crying?" He suddenly asks, his brows creasing in concern. His voice is soft, and his touch is warm. "Your eyes are red."

For a second, I cling on to this little moment. This moment where he pretends he cares about me, and notices the little things, like how red my eyes are, because I've been crying for a while.

This part of him...the part that I fell in love with. This part that has faded away.

"You took care of me for three months when I was blind; now I've been your wife for three years. I guess that's enough, isn't it?"

The room goes silent and I feel him stiffen up. His hands doesn't leave my face, and I close my eyes to savour the moment, and for a second, I'm back in that hospital room three years ago. The world had been pitch black after my accident on the filming set, that left me temporarily blind.

I remember the panic I felt when everything was black, but then Deckard appeared. He had been the one to show me the colors I couldn't see, reading to me, feeding me, and promising that I'd never be alone. I fell in love with that voice...those caring hands.

I open my eyes again, and he's still staring at me with those grey eyes. Behind them, fear flashes, but it is quickly replaced with indifference.

"We can't be talking about this now, Syd," he deflects. "Not with everything going on. You focus on your statement, and we put this whole paparazzi mess behind us before it does damage. Okay?"

That's it. That's the last of me. Every single piece I've given to Deckard, to this marriage. That's the last of it he dismissed so casually. All the chances that my mind has been telling me to give him, fades completely in this moment.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he takes it out, totally oblivious to the internal battle I've given up on. He takes one look at the screen, and his entire face softens.

"I have to take this," he backs toward the door. "Georgia is having a panic attack about the news. We'll talk about that statement later, okay? You're an angel, Syd."

He disappears into the hallway, but I still hear his voice. "Gia? Hey, hey... calm down. I’ve handled it. Sydney agreed to make the statement. Everything is going to be fine..."

I lose control of my tears and let them fall. My body shakes, my throat goes dry, but I don't stop crying. Deckard will always pick her over me, do anything for her instead of me. The man that I thought I loved is gone, so I better leave too.

By the time I successfully pull myself together, Deckard is long gone. I take out my suitcases from the closet and one by one get them to my car.

Victoria comes around when I'm taking the last of my bag and she frowns. "Are you traveling?"

I smile and shake my head. I think she realizes then what I'm doing as she drops her hands down to her sides and nods.

"Do you want me to leave him a message?"

"No. I don't think that would be necessary. He'll get the message sooner or later."

She nods and steps out of the way, watching in silence as I take the last piece of me outside the house I lived three years in.

"Alright," I say to myself the second I get comfortable in my car. "You can do this."