第1章

After sending in my resignation, I went to the sealed Moon Hall in the farthest wing of the pack's administrative complex.

It was where Adrian had once planned to hold my Luna ceremony.

Eight years ago, after I was poisoned at the full moon trial and my wolf went silent, he locked the hall himself.

He said that as long as I couldn't feel the pack, he would never let anyone set foot in that room.

But the caretaker didn't look the least bit surprised to see me.

"The Alpha isn't here yet. You can wait inside. He comes every full moon and stays all night."

Every full moon.

That was when the moon was fullest and my wolf hurt the most.

For the past eight years, whenever the full moon came, Adrian claimed he needed to be alone to stabilize the pack's mind-link.

I never doubted him. Then I stepped inside and saw the truth.

The long table was covered with appointment paperwork for Vivian's return to the pack.

The file on top read:

Reinstatement applicant: Vivian Hale.

I stared at that line for a long time.

Eight years ago, my name had been written there.

Adrian said that once my wolf recovered, he would have the entire pack witness me become Black Pine's Luna.

Then my wolf never woke again.

And that promise was never mentioned again.

But now Adrian had prepared the place meant for me and handed it to Vivian.

Beside it lay the pack physician's dosage notes:

Vivian wakes easily during a full moon. Keep the dosage as low as possible.

Looking at that line, I suddenly wanted to laugh.

My wolf had been silent for eight years.

Every time I tried to shift, it felt like my bones were being broken all over again.

Three years ago, when my wolfsbane suppressants started failing, I asked Adrian if I could switch to something better.

He said the Luna's office was short on money and told me to hold out a little longer.

But he remembered that Vivian was afraid of the full moon.

Remembered that her wolf was unstable.

Remembered to stock an entire case of medicine that would spare her the pain.

The computer at the end of the long table was still on.

It held hundreds of voice recordings with simple filenames.

Vivian: Full-Moon Panic.

Vivian's birthday.

Vivian: Before Reinstatement, Don't Be Afraid.

I clicked on one.

Adrian's low voice came through the speakers.

"Don't be afraid. I'm always here."

I glanced at the recording date. It was my birthday.

It was the night I lost consciousness for the first time during an acting Luna meeting.

When I woke, every bone in my body burned from the lingering wolfsbane.

I called Adrian seven times.

He said there was trouble at the pack's border and told me to take my medicine on my own.

He had never gone to the border.

He had been here, using the Alpha's gentlest voice to soothe Vivian across the ocean.

Hurried footsteps pounded toward the door.

Adrian pushed the door open.

When he saw me in the cold Moon Hall, he stopped short in the doorway.

He pulled off his coat and draped it over my shoulders.

Then, out of habit, he lowered his Alpha aura so it wouldn't aggravate my silent wolf.

The next second, he saw the list of recordings on the screen.

He stepped straight past me and snapped the laptop shut.

I stared at his back.

"Didn't you say you hadn't contacted her in eight years?"

Adrian was silent for a long time.

"I just didn't want you to know."

I asked, "Didn't want to hurt me, or didn't want me to know you'd been taking care of her all along?"

He didn't answer.

I asked again, "On my birthday, didn't you say you went to the border?"

His eyes reddened slightly.

"Vivian's wolf nearly lost control that day.

"She said she couldn't hold on much longer."

I nodded and said nothing.

His phone rang right then.

Vivian's voice came faintly through the phone.

"Adrian, I just tried to shift and lost control again.

"I'm scared I won't make it to the reinstatement ceremony."

Adrian glanced at me.

"Elena, let me go check on her first. I'll explain when I'm back."

I stood in the empty Moon Hall.

That was when I understood for the first time.

What he had locked away was never just a room.

It was the path into his real life.