LOGINHarrison believed Estelle had betrayed him wih his best friend. He asked for a divorce straight away. She tried to explain, but he refused to believe her and insisted on ending the marriage. Desperate, she begged him for one last hope.“What if I’m pregnant? Would that change anything?”Harrison did not even pause.“I’m sick of your boring games.” So Estelle hid the pregnancy. She delivered their daughter alone. Without a farewell, she vanished from his life and rebuilt herself somewhere far away. Seven years later, Estelle returns and meets Harrison again. Estelle believes he has a son now, a child he shares with his first love. Estelle tells herself this is how it should be, that they have both moved on. But Harrison keeps begging to win her back. He says he can’t live without her. And what Estelle doesn’t know is this: the boy she believes is Harrison’s son with his first love is actually her son.
View MoreEstelle’s POVI was standing near the cake table when Claire passed me on her way out of the room.I watched her go. Then I set my glass down on the cake table and went after her, before I had finished giving myself permission.She was at the far end of the corridor, by the cloakroom door, with her hand flat on the wall.She wasn’t crying. She had done the thing she did right before she cried—the swallow, the chin lift—and stopped herself before the line.“Claire.”She turned slowly.“Estelle.”“Are you all right?”“I’m fine, Estelle.”I opened the cloakroom door. I did not look at her. I held it.She went in. I followed. I shut the door behind us. Claire stood with her back to the sink and I leaned against the door.“I was watching the toast that’s coming,” she said quietly. “I was watching Helena. She has not stood for anything yet. She will stand for that one. She wants me to know she will, and she wants me to feel it.”She breathed out.“Estelle.”“Yes?”“I am not going to apologi
Estelle’s POVI was downstairs before the birds.Five forty-seven on the kitchen clock, which I noted because the clock was the first thing I could focus on after the light switch. I filled the kettle and got to the table before I remembered what day it was.I sat with the mug in both hands.Chloe came down at eight twenty-five in the dress.The dress was yellow. Nobody in the store had sold it to her as aggressive. Chloe had made it aggressive by force of will. It was the color of a highway sign. She walked into the kitchen with her hands on her hips.“Well.”“Chloe, you look—”“Don’t.”“—extraordinary.”“Thank you.”Daisy laughed wetly into her coffee.Lucas came down four minutes later in the bowtie and a plastic shark. I raised my brow, pointing at the shark. He shrugged and walked to the couch. He sat down very straight to wait to be useful.I went back upstairs at nine. Harrison was in the bathroom with the shower running.I put on the dress, zipping it myself. I checked the hem
Harrison’s POVThomas came over at one with his own hammer and a fresh bag of nails.He didn’t bring mine. I noted that and didn’t ask.“You’re early.”“I’m on time,” he said mildly, setting the bag on the patio table. “You’re late, because you haven’t started.”“I was going to start at one.”“It’s one-twelve, Harrison.”“Thomas.”“I brought the right nails this time.”Lucas was already on the step with his shark book facedown across his knee. He hadn’t looked up from Thomas in about ten minutes. Inside, Chloe was shouting at Estelle about a sheet of lists. Lucas had excused himself from that situation at nine. He had not been called back.“Hi, Thomas,” Lucas said promptly.“Hi, Lucas.”“Are you fixing Dad’s fence?”“I’m helping your dad fix his fence.”“Dad did it wrong.”“So I understand.”Lucas sank back into the book.We walked down to the corner section I’d put up for his birthday three weekends back. The slats had bowed out by Thursday. Estelle had noticed. She had not commented
Estelle’s POVHelena Donovan called me Thursday evening.I was on the couch with a cooking show playing on mute, my feet tucked under a blanket, a glass of wine at my elbow I had forgotten to drink. Harrison was upstairs. Chloe was at the kitchen table doing her Spanish homework out loud to herself because she said repeating the conjugations helped. Lucas was in his room reading a book about basking sharks.My phone rang, and it said Helena Donovan.I sat up slowly. I paused the television. I let it ring a second time before I picked up.“Hello?”“Estelle. It’s Helena.”“Yes. Hi.”“I was hoping you and I could have coffee tomorrow morning. Somewhere quiet. I won’t keep you long. It’s about Saturday.”Harrison had warned me she had gone to Claire’s. He had told me about the four rows and the don’t-turn-around. He had not warned me she might call.“Of course,” I said.“There is a coffee shop on Blackwell Road near the roundabout. I can be there at nine.”“I’ll be there at nine.”“Thank
Estelle’s POVKarl found me on the balcony after Chloe fell asleep for her afternoon nap, her small body curled on the resort bed, exhausted from another morning of going through motions that looked nothing like childhood.He sat down in the chair beside mine and we both stared at the ocean for a wh
Estelle’s POVKarl called on Thursday evening and I answered because I hadn’t spoken to him in over a week and the guilt was eating me alive.“How are you doing?” he asked carefully.I lasted about three seconds before I broke down. “She’s not eating, Karl. She’s having nightmares every night. She j
Estelle’s POVI picked my clutch up from the table and turned to Karl. “We’re leaving.”I walked out and Karl followed me. I didn’t look at a single person we passed, though I could feel every one of them watching.In Karl’s car, neither of us spoke for a long time. The engine was off and we just sa
Harrison’s POVHis hands were on my face and his mouth was on mine and I shoved at him, hard, both palms against his chest.Then my fingers were twisting into his shirt again and I was pulling him closer and I hated myself, I hated him, I hated all of it, and I kissed him back anyway.This time ther












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