Vicky

I try to turn to get more comfortable but there's something wrapped round my torso. I don't panic immediately because I'm just dreaming. I open my eyes and scream. So loud my other dorm mates run inside. All my years of pining finally manifested Anderson Matheos in my bed.

This occurrence however doesn't seem to disrupt the four boy's staring at the scenario with disappointment. They're not supposed to be disappointed. It's Anderson we're talking about. My middle school and high school crush.

“Can you stop embarrassing yourself." Jesse is on the bed trying to pull him away from me. “Wake up you deadbeat."

Anderson finally opens his eyes. He groans and pushes his hair backwards. He's hotter than when I last saw him, during our graduation. He's hair is grown and his eyes seem a little bit brighter. “What's with all the ruckus? I'm sleepy."

“Or hungover," some dude I didn't see yesterday snorts.

“Definitely hungover." The others concur.

“Okay big boy, come get some aspirin to help with your headache. I'll make you breakfast." Jesse says.

That's when Anderson finally turns to look at the person he'd been snuggling the whole night. “Fucking hell. What's Andrez doing here? Am I still dreaming? “

“You mean Vicky? Who the fuck is Andrez."

I hate the fact that all the attention is on me right now. Thank God for Gideon that suggests we sorr out everything in the common area.

Everyone is seated except Anderson. He's going through the cupboards looking for what to eat. I really hope I'm not drooling from staring at his broad shoulders. I wonder if he still plays basketball.

“Babe, where's the rice pops cereal? How am I supposed to survive?" Anderson whines.

I choke on my saliva. Who on earth did he call babe? I scan the room but nobody looks fazed. I convince myself it's a nickname.

“That's not important right now. Sit your ass down.“ Gideon commands. Anderson sits on one of the countertops. “Can you explain to us why you were harassing Vicky over here?"

"Harassing? Vicky? You mean Andrez? I wasn't harassing anybody. “

Magnus, the shortest person (excluding me of course) speaks. "We found you groping him aggressively. The poor boy was so scared he screamed. “

I was flustered but they don't need to know that.

“I thought he was Jesse. How was I supposed to know it wasn't. Nobody thought to inform me we had a guest."

“He's not a guest," Gideon objects. “He's the 6th member of our dorm. Vicky."

Finally, Anderson looks at me. I bite my lip to avoid smiling like an idiot. I use my sleeves to hide my already pink cheeks. “Well, nice to meet you again Andrez. You didn't tell me you were going to study here."

“You two know each other?", Jesse asks.

I'm so not answering that question so when Anderson answers, I'm relieved. “Yupp. We go way back. We went to the same school. Literally all our lives right?"

It's been since grade school but I still nod yes.

“So," the stranger says. “Apologize and we'll be on our way. I'm Kyle by the way." He stretches his hand for a handshake. I've been able to learn from yesterday's mistake, so when I take his hand, I release it almost immediately. That's still so awkward.

“Fine. I'm sorry for cuddling you. You smell so nice". I smile at the compliment. Guess the crush never died. “I just thought you were my boyfriend." My smile falls. I misheard. It was surely my faulty ears.

"Boyfriend?" My voice is so small.

Anderson pulls Jesse to him, snaking an arm round his waist. “This is the love of my life Jesse."

It's like I'm falling into a black hole. I still try to smile even though I feel like I'm suffocating. I do my breathing practice subtly. I had been living in my head for so long that I didn't realize Anderson could date someone. I feel so ashamed and stupid.

“You look surprised," Gideon points out. It feels like he's seen through me. Like all my deepest darkest fantasies have been laid down on the table.

“Oh n-no. I just thought he was straight. That's all. He had a girlfriend. It was my assumption. Sorry."

Anderson laughs. My heart skips a beat until I literally have to scold it. He's a taken guy. Taken by my own roommate. “I thought so too. It happened in summer camp-"

“I have lectures. Anything to miss your cringe as fuck story," Magnus says almost retreating to his room. They all follow suit to their individual rooms to prepare for the day. It's just me and the happy couple left . I can't seem to take my eyes off them.

“Boyfriend huh? You still haven't apologized for what you did have you?"

Anderson hugs Jesse so tight it's almost the way my throat is being squeezed by jealousy. "I'm so fucking sorry love of my life. I thought about you during every waking moment all the time I was at Madeleine's. I missed you and Archie was such an asshole.“

My throat decides to shame me by making me cough which places the couples attention back on me. "Oh yeah I forgot. You're going to go shopping with Vicky later today. It's your turn and Vicky can take that opportunity to get to know areas round campus. Okay?“

“Sure. Anything for you babe."

I smile and retreat to my room too. There are two bathrooms in the dorm and both of them are being occupied so I have to stay in my room and hope Anderson doesn't come back in.

I stay there till I hear everyone leave. I don't hear Anderson's voice though but I hope I don't run into him. I sneak out of my room and tiptoe to the shower. If there was any way I could reduce the noise of the shower, I would've done that gladly. Unfortunately, I couldn't do that so I was there with crippling anxiety, hoping the noise would attract Anderson.

It doesn't. I go back to my room and try to look for something to wear. What does someone wear on their first day in school in college? I'm almost tempted to G****e it but my therapist says I should be one with independence.

I pull out one of my sweat shirts and pair it with jeans. I don't look horrible, but what if that was only my opinion. I so really wish Gideon or Jesse were here to provide me with an opinion. I still wear it and head out. Anderson is still in so I don't make an attempt to lick the door.

Outside, there are students everywhere. It then dawns on me that I have no idea whatsoever where my faculty is. Asking someone is totally out of the picture so it's either I wander around or look for a direction's board. Not up to two steps later, my phone rings. My loud ringtone is embarrassing me, but nobody cares to pay attention to me. It's mom calling.

“Hello. Mommy."

I can already see her excitement. The way her eyes light up like mine does when we're happy or in any pleasant mood. “My sweetheart. I told you to call me yesterday but you didn't."

“I was tired. I met some of my roommates. Then met the rest today." I intentionally don't mention the fact that Anderson is my dorm mate. It's going to be a long therapy session I don't have the heart for.

“Are they nice boys? Any of them cute?"

“Yes. Gideon and Jesse are nice. I only met Kyle today. Magnus isn't really nice but maybe he needs to get to know me first. Nothing wrong with that."

“Exactly. You're a sweet soul so it's impossible that people won't like you. You're likeable."

If she were here with me, she would've bopped my nose. I'm an adult, a respectable member of society, but in my mother's eyes, I'm still 11. We talk about some other things before she ends the call. I take a deep breath and start walking. Where to? I have no idea.