A Hickey

Sienna

I woke up to the dull light creeping in through the window, a strange weight settling in my chest.

My eyes fluttered open, and I immediately felt a sense of disorientation.

The room around me was unfamiliar, its walls darker than the one I was accustomed to.

The sheets were cooler than the ones I’d slept in for years, and the air smelled different.

The faintest scent of cologne lingered in the air…something musky, something that wasn’t Noah. It clung to me, making my stomach churn in equal parts confusion and guilt.

I sat up immediately, feeling the pressure in my head.

It wasn’t a hangover, but something like it…a fogginess that I couldn’t shake.

The man I had spent the night with wasn’t in the room, but I could hear the sound of water running from the bathroom.

I glanced around, trying to piece together the fragmented memories that teased the edges of my mind.

I couldn’t remember much just bits and pieces, flashes of laughter, the sound of music, and a sense of reckless abandon. But nothing specific.

The shame hit me like a tidal wave.

I wasn’t proud of what I had done. I was married.

I was still married.

I had betrayed Noah. But the part of me that hated him for what he’d done to me…the betrayal, the cheating, the lies was almost... silenced.

The weight of my own actions felt suffocating, but there was something else in me, a strange satisfaction I couldn’t ignore. I felt good in a way I couldn’t explain.

But no, that didn’t make it right.

I scrambled out of bed, not wanting to be caught in this room any longer.

I needed to leave.

I needed to go home, to the place I knew, the place where everything was supposed to make sense.

As I glanced at the bedside drawer, I took out a humble amount of crumpled bill and hastily placed it on the surface.

I didn't care how much it was as long it paid for the service rendered and was enough to make my exit seem less like a mistake and more like a transaction.

I threw on my clothes quickly, ignoring the strange, warm feeling in the pit of my stomach, the remnants of his touch still lingering on my skin, still invading my thoughts.

The man, whoever he was, had left an imprint on me. My mind ached to remember, but my body, oddly, felt alive.

But what was I doing?

My mind kept racing as I hurried out of the room, the sound of water still coming from the bathroom.

I needed to get out, away from the man whose face I couldn’t remember and whose name I didn't even know yet his body I’d let invade mine.

I didn’t know how long it took to get back home, but when I reached the door, my heart sank.

I stepped inside, not knowing what I expected, but it certainly wasn’t this.

The moment I entered the living room, the heavy scent of perfume hit me again.

It wasn’t Noah's perfume from last no, this was someone else's.

I looked up and felt the ground slip out from under me.

There he was.

Noah. My husband. In the middle of our bed with another woman, her naked body sprawled across the sheets, her back arched as her hands wrapped around him.

It felt like a punch to the gut.

Every part of me screamed in protest, my lungs filling with air that didn’t seem to reach my chest.

I felt my stomach lurch, bile rising in my throat. I turned on my heel, my legs barely carrying me to the bathroom before I bent over the toilet and threw up everything that had been in my system since last night.

The stench of my own regret was overwhelming. The man from the club, the one I had let touch me, still clung to me in ways I couldn’t rid myself of. And yet here I was, standing in front of my husband, who hadn’t even bothered to hide his infidelity.

Had I somehow become like him? Had I turned into the thing I hated most?

I had been so disgusted by Noah’s actions. I had despised him for his lack of loyalty, for the way he had broken me over and over again. But now, here I was facing the consequences of my own choices.

And as much as I wanted to vomit again, as much as I hated myself for what I had done, a part of me didn’t regret it. It was sick. It was twisted. But I didn’t regret it.

Noah had broken me long before I found solace in another man's arms.

He had stripped away my sense of self-worth, and now I was just as much a cheater as he was.

My stomach twisted again, but this time it wasn’t from guilt. It was from the realization that maybe, just maybe, I was never going to go back to being the woman I used to be.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. I needed to wash away the remnants of that man, of the night, of this shameful thing that had been done.

I rushed into the shower, the hot water stinging my skin. I scrubbed myself clean, over and over again, trying to erase the man’s scent, the memory of his touch. But the truth was, I couldn’t wash it away.

I could barely even remember.

The water ran red as I scrubbed harder, pushing away the memories that tried to resurface.

But even as I washed, my mind raced with thoughts of Noah. What was I supposed to say when I faced him again? How do I explain my actions to him?

When I finished and stepped out of the bathroom, I felt the tension in my body ease slightly.

And then, just as I dried myself off and started dressing, I heard Noah’s voice, low and demanding.

“Sienna, where the hell were you last night?”

I froze. My heart skipped a beat.

I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could speak, I felt his eyes on me…piercing and accusatory.

“Where were you last night, Sienna?” he repeated, his tone colder than it had ever been.

“I... I…”

I was cut off. Noah’s eyes narrowed as he moved closer, his gaze trained on my neck.

My breath caught in my throat as he stepped closer, his fingers twitching with barely contained anger. He reached forward, pointing at me as if accusing me of the worst possible sin.

“Is that a hickey?” he demanded, his voice rising with disbelief.

I froze. My hand instinctively went to my neck, feeling the tender, bruise that hadn’t been there when I left the house yesterday.

How had I not noticed?

How could I have let it slip by so easily?

“Tell me, Sienna, did you spend the night with a man?”