로그인I feel the robe come around my body and until I do, I don’t even realize how cold I am. The terrycloth comes over my body and rubs against my nipples, hard as hell from the cold. If not for the cold making me breath less, I would let out a moan from the contact.“Princess, what in the world are you doing?”“Daddy,” I whisper, “I’ve never seen snow.”“What do you mean? There was snow last year.”I nod as I look at the blur of white fall ing over the back yard. “I mean I never saw it fall. The few times it’s snowed here, I always wake up in the morning and it’s on the ground. I never actually saw it fall.”Suddenly, he’s carrying me like a baby, cradling me in his arms as he walks me back into the house. He sets me down gently on the big, fluffy rug in front of the fireplace, which is empty at the moment.“You’re going to sit and get warm,” he says, “and you can watch the snow through the window.”A half hour later, though, I’m back on the
“You’re wrong, you know,” Daddy says.It seems a strange thing to say after we’ve made up. It seems a particularly strange thing to say while both of us are in bed, naked again. I feel instantly wary. I mean, after several months of a rela‐tion ship that always has a level of tenseness to it simply because of its forbidden and taboo nature, this whole col lege thing was our first fight.I hated that fight.I hate the thought that there will be another.I swallow hard and resolve not to fight. I even resolve to pretend not to be angry if I must. Softly, I ask, “You don’t think I can get a good education online?”“That’s not what I mean, little girl,” he says, “but I’m still going to hold you to your promise. You have to do the local classes, too.”“Yes, Daddy,” I say. So, what are we going to fight about? “But… what am I… Why am I wrong?”“You said you overheard me talking to my brother. You said you know I stayed here because I
It’s pretty damned strange to be certain I’m right and also to feel guilty at the same time. I mean, I am right! It’s ut ter bull shit for him to think that he gets to be some superman, the very picture of noble self-sacrifice, and I can’t make the kind of de ci sion people make every damned day of the week. I understand very clearly why I believe I have the right to make this decision. I know very clearly why I don’t believe he has a right to tell me I can’t.I just don’t get why I still feel like I’m wrong.No, maybe I’m not feeling wrong. Maybe I just feel like Daddy has earned the right to get a pass.Yeah, that’s it.I get it now. Here I am demanding my rights when this man sacrificed everything.Well, maybe this isn’t it.Damn it! What I need is advice. The terrible thing is there’s only one person on Earth I would trust to give me this advice, and that one person is the man who’s already made his opinion clear. In my shower in the
“By God, little girl,” Daddy says, “You’re going to listen to me!”I don’t think I’ve ever seen my step father this angry. I gulp and nod. Hell, I can’t even remember what I was talking about. His tone seems to reverberate through the air and it’s scary as hell. On the other hand, it’s also about the sexiest thing imaginable.He points to the couch and I go sit down. I’m acutely aware of the fact that I’m naked. I remember coming out and starting the conver‐sation. I remember that he would screw me silly after I spoke.Now, all I can think about is his tone.He walks up and grabs a throw blanket from the chair. He hands it to me and suddenly I’m grateful as hell for it. I cover up and he says, “No. It isn’t happening. I don’t know how but I learned to accept that you and I have a relationship other people won’t understand.I learned to accept that I don’t have any choice about loving you. I also learned to accept that you’re an a
This is such a strange situation.I mean…I guess it’s strange to realize how… God, what’s the word?No. That’s a bullshit question. I know exactly what the word is. It’s strange for me to realize how young I am. It’s strange for me to realize how this situation affects me.Really, when I started all of this it had everything to do with gratitude for all Daddy did for my mom, for my family, and me. It also had a lot to do with feeling a very powerful and very intense sense of sadness for how he gave up his life for us.I mean, I had an idea that my role should be to comfort him.I had an idea that my role should be to give him an opportunity to receive a measure of happiness and joy he’s entitled to but doesn’t receive now. It never really occurred to me that doing this would impact me.I mean, I guess I thought a little bit about what might happen if I didn’t like it. I guess I thought a little bit about how I might end up p
I don’t think I’ve ever been so damned excited in my life. I guess I feel a little bit guilty. I mean, if I woke up with a mouth on me, even if I really wanted the guy, I think I’d probably be really freaked out. I guess it was all a perfect storm. Daddy, after years of getting nothing and feeling lonely, couldn’t resist me as much as he wanted to.I don’t feel nearly as guilty about the way I went about seducing him as—well, I guess until he sleeps with me it isn’t really seducing him. What I mean is, I feel a little bit guilty about getting him to accept a blowjob that he really didn’t want to accept. I feel a little bit bad about that. On the other hand, I feel pretty bad about something else.For four years, he’s slept in the guest room and I only know about it now.For all this time he’s just stoically accepted his fate and I’m so self-absorbed I don’t even realize it until this very moment. I mean, that’s something that makes me feel very guilty







