Hidden Obsessions

FIFTEEN YEARS AGO

MEL.

I want to go back.

It had rained earlier and the ground was muddy. The trees were too wet to touch and the bugs were bigger than I thought.

“Hurry up Mel.” Stephen called out while walking fast. I tried to move faster, but there were so little my six-year-old legs could handle.

 “I’m tired and hungry.” I cry to him. “And cold too. Can’t we go back home?”.

“It’s not our home, Mel.” He stopped and turned towards me. I could see the quick flash of anger in his eyes.

 Stephen hates when I call our orphanage ‘home’ and insists the two of us were the only home we could ever need. He was always angry and sad but he is very nice to me. So, when he woke me up in the middle of the night and said we’re going on a road trip with the promise of snacks, I didn’t question him.

“I meant the orphanage.’ I say quickly. “Sister Mary would be looking for us, we should go back.” I added.

Sister Mary could be harsh but she gave the warmest hugs and was the closest thing I had to a mum since my birth mother died during child birth and her family left me at the church hospital. She was the only one I had been close to until when I met Stephen.

“Listen.” Stephen held my arms. His hands were too cold and his eyes looked wild. “We are not going back. They want to take you away from me but I won’t let them. Not when I just got you back.” He smiled and I suddenly felt afraid. Stephen was just fifteen years of age but he said the weirdest things most times. The sisters at the orphanage always told me to stay away from him but he had never scared me until now.

“I want to go back, please, Stephen. I am scared.” I start to cry.  “It’s almost time for the morning call, I don’t want the snacks anymore, let’s go back.” I plead with him.

“If we go back now, the nuns would punish us both, do you want that?” He drags me with him.

Just then I heard voices yelling, “Mellisia!!!, Stephen!!!, Where are you?!!!” As if on cue, the hymn, Amazing Grace, started playing loudly from the local church.

“Shit.” Stephen frowned. He starts to run still dragging me along.

“That’s Sister Mary, we should go back.” I cried, trying to stop him. “Stephen, slow down, I can’t see.” The hymn got louder and he didn’t hear me.

The woods were really dark and he had put off the torch so they won’t see us, but the muddy ground was slippery.  As he continued to drag me, I slipped and rolled down the ground before finally hitting my head against a big rock that stopped my fall.

“Mel !!!, No, no, no, no.” Stephen screamed and ran to me. “Don’t leave me please.” He held my head in his arms and cried. Blood flowed down his hands.

“Mellisia!!!” Sister Mary’s voice came closer.

“I am sorry, Mel, I can’t let them catch me. I promise I will be…” His voice faded away as I closed my eyes with the sounds of the hymn following me into the darkness.

***********

The horrible smell of the hospital bleach filled my nose as I woke. My head was in pain and it hurt to open my eyes. I moaned in pain and a strange voice called out for a doctor.

“Welcome to the land of the living, little one.” The doctor joked and walked into the room. “You have to open your eyes for me, Mel, don’t worry you are safe.”

“Is that my name? Mel?” I asked him.

“Yes, Mel is your name. Don’t you remember?” The doctor sounded confused.

I shake my head to answer no with my eyes still closed. I seemed to find peace in the dark.

“Child, open your eyes for me, look around and tell me if you know anybody here.”

I opened my eyes slowly and looked around the small room. I see three women, two of them were dressed in nun outfits, one looked older than the other. The third woman was dressed casually. There was also a little boy that seemed too interested in the toy he was holding. They were all strangers.

“No, I don’t know anybody here.” I responded. The younger nun gasped in shock.

“I feared this will happen.” the doctor said to the older nun. “I’m afraid she has developed amnesia.”

The older nun walked to me and held my hands. “Mellisia, do you remember what happened?” She said in a strong voice but her eyes were kind.

“No, I am sorry.” My voice breaks a little. “What happened?”

The younger nun responded “We found you in the woods, bleeding. You had run away from the home with …”

“The dogs.” the older nun completed for her, still looking at me. “Child, my name is Sister Mary. I control the catholic orphanage here. You live with us but you had been playing with the dogs and got lost in the woods where we found you unconscious. You have been in a coma for two months.”

“Dogs?” I stare at her

“Don’t stress yourself, you are safe now.” She said smiling. “Let me introduce you to Mrs. Park. She was supposed to come complete your adoption process on the day you had your accident. She has been so worried about you.”

 The third woman came closer with a sad smile on her face. “Hello, Mellisia. My name is Anita and that is my son, Jack.” She said pointing to the small boy in the room. “I’m so sorry for the pain you went through.”

“All is well now though.” Sister Mary announced loudly and then turned to me. “Once you have fully recovered, you will leave with Mrs. Park to your new home.”

With my fate decided, I looked around the room and lock eyes with the little boy, who looked confused as I was.

*******

Far away from my hearing, the nuns talked to the doctor in his office.

“Was it wise to lie to her?” The doctor asked. “It could affect her recovery.”

“It was for her own good. It’s best she forgets about that boy, this life and goes far away with the Parks.” Sister Mary insisted.

“Are we going to keep looking for the boy?” The younger nun asked.

Sister Mary walked to the cabinet in the room and picked up the file that shows Stephen’s history from when he walked into the home by himself five years ago. She opened to the page with his picture, stared at it for a while, then looked up and said “No, my dear Martha. Even though we try, we can’t save every child.”