Regrets

“You’re drunk, Lucas,” I whispered as he was nearly passing out. However, I managed to hold him and guided him to his bedroom, supporting him by wrapping my arms around him.

He lay down on his bed, but suddenly he grabbed my hand, causing us to fall onto the bed. “Why do you smell so good, Fatima?” I closed my eyes, feeling the tickles as his hands gently touched my legs.

“Lucas . . .” I let out a whimper. He leans in and takes a whiff of my neck.

“I want to taste you so damn right, My Luna.” He gently touched my cheeks.

I offer him a faint smile, but its radiance quickly fades as a heavy burden of guilt settles upon me.

I don’t want to exploit Fatima’s death, but I recognize that this may be my chance to win Lucas’ affection.

I felt a gulp in my throat. I whispered, “You can do anything you want to me.”

His gaze locked onto mine, piercing through the depths of my soul. His piercing blue eyes speak volumes. His gaze fixated on my lips, his eyes tracing every curve and contour. With deliberate slowness, he inched closer, closing the distance between us.

He began to kiss my lips. I reciprocated his kiss, feeling his hands on my waist as he gently lifted my shirt and discarded it. I assisted him by helping him remove his clothes and setting them aside. 

He used to be my bully, and now I am working on something with him.

His hand gently slipped into my underwear, caressing me, but he silenced my moans with a passionate kiss. 

“Luna, I love you even more,” he whispered as he kissed my neck and gently laid me on the bed. I let out a low moan and reached out to touch the softness of the duvet. He chuckled softly in my ear and kissed me with even more intensity.

I can’t even breathe.

“You smell amazing.” he slipped his finger on my pussy, and I gasped.

“Ugh . . .” I moaned.

“I’m gonna fuck you as I pleased, Fatima.”

—

I woke up in bed feeling disoriented and realized I had lost my virginity to Lucas. It occurred to me that Lucas had not yet been intimate with Fatima. He believes that it was his first time having sex with Fatima, and I am feeling extremely distressed. 

I am feeling scared about the potential outcomes.

I quickly stood up and wrapped a towel around my body. 

“That was good.” Lucas entered the room and approached me, giving me a warm hug.

I inhaled deeply. “Yeah . . .” I muttered under my breath, and in response, he gently placed his hand on my waist, guiding me to face him.

“What is the matter with you? Why aren’t you being bitch to me today?” His question made my heart race. Their relationship doesn’t resemble what I had anticipated.

I laughed. “Well, do you want me to act according to my bad sides?” I asked, making him chuckle.

“No, Fatima, I love this part of you. I love everything about you, but you’re making me fall even deeper in love,” he stuttered. I closed my eyes, feeling his warm hand on my cheeks, providing comfort.

He whispered, “I love you.”

I give him a wide grin that spreads across my face. “You know I could repeat that phrase a million times with a different meaning on how much I cherish this thing of us.” I can see the curiosity in his eyes when I say that.

I noticed his cheeks starting to turn red, and it was at that moment that my smile disappeared. I don’t want to continue behaving in a way that makes me feel bad.

“Lucas, I have to go now--”

“What? Where?” He interrupted me as he held my hand.

“I need to speak with my father,” I whispered, but he shook his head.

“He is good--”

“I would like to visit where my mother and I live.” I came up with an excuse and even accompanied it with a gesture. He stared at me, his expression filled with confusion.

“You’re acting strangely, Fatima,” he whispered.

“I just want to do something fun with you.” He stuttered and grabbed my hand while sniffing my neck. I can detect his pleasant fragrance. It’s only early in the morning, but he smells perfect.

“We should shower together,” he said, and I felt a lump in my throat as his hand once again ventured beneath my towel.

I forced a smile, feeling a bit uncomfortable. “Yeah . . .” I mumbled.

**

“I have betrayed you, Fatima . . .” Tears welled up in my eyes as I gazed upon her grave. It hasn’t even been a week since she died in a car accident, and my father chose to conceal the news to maintain control and not let the opportunity go to waste.

"But, you know what?” I wipe away my tears.

“I have no remorse for wishing upon you a most unfortunate demise, and I take great pleasure in knowing that your foolishness prevents you from encountering a serendipitous misfortune.” I let out a soft chuckle, feeling the warmth of amusement bubbling up from within me. With a slight gulp, I swallowed, feeling the movement of my throat as the laughter subsided. 

“You beat me up when I get the things you wanted, and Mother even takes your side even though she knows you’re a fucking dumb troublemaker.” I burst out into tears, remembering what happened.

Flashbacks hurt a lot.

“You have treated me poorly, and you have even encouraged Lucas to bully me . . . I bet you’re crying in hell right now, watching me getting the things you had.” I smile and gaze up at heaven with mock.

“Or are you even there?” I pretended to be deep in thought.

“I believe that both you and your mother are abusive, and it seems as though you both belong in hell.” I laughed once more.

“Do you believe that I am deceased? That is ridiculous.”