MasukThe morning after the Paris opening, Jay woke up to sunlight streaming through the hotel window and the Eiffel Tower glittering in the distance.He lay still for a long time. His chest was light. His mind was quiet. The weight that had been sitting on him for months had finally lifted. He didn't know why. He didn't question it. He just let himself feel it.Cole stirred behind him."You're awake," Cole mumbled."I'm awake.""What time is it?""Late."Cole pulled him closer. "Good. Stay here."Jay smiled. "I'm not going anywhere."They had breakfast at a small cafe near the hotel.Croissants. Coffee. Fresh fruit. Jay ate slowly. He didn't rush. He didn't think about the show. He didn't think about the paintings. He just ate.Cole watched him."What?" Jay asked."Nothing.""You're staring.""I'm looking.""It's the same thing.""It's not.""It is."Jay laughed. "You're impossible."Cole grinned. "You love it."Jay looked at him. "I do."The phone rang at 10am. Elena."Jay," she said. "Ho
Jay woke up the morning before Paris and couldn't move.His body was heavy. His mind was blank. He lay in bed staring at the ceiling. The sun was coming through the curtains. Cole was still asleep next to him. His breathing was steady. His arm was draped across Jay's chest.Jay didn't move. He didn't want to wake him. He just lay there. Thinking about nothing. Thinking about everything.He must have fallen asleep again. When he opened his eyes, Cole was sitting up. He was looking at Jay with worried eyes."Jay," Cole said. "You okay?""I'm fine.""You're not fine.""I'm tired."Cole leaned closer. "You've been tired for months.""I know.""Maybe you need to rest.""I've been resting.""No. You've been working. That's not the same thing."Jay was quiet. He didn't have an argument.Jay went to the studio that afternoon.The room was empty. The walls were bare. The paintings were already on their way to Paris. He stood in the middle of it and turned in a circle. He had nothing left to do
Paris.The word sat in Jay's head like a stone. Heavy. Permanent. Unmovable. He couldn't stop thinking about it. Paris. Another city. Another show. Another forty paintings. His hands were already tired just from the thought of it.He sat on the couch. The apartment was quiet. Cole was in the kitchen. The smell of coffee drifted through the air. Jay stared at the wall. He didn't move. He didn't speak.Cole walked over. He sat next to Jay. "You're quiet.""I'm thinking.""About Paris?""About everything."Cole put his arm around him. "You don't have to decide today.""I know.""But you're going to think about it anyway."Jay nodded. "I'm going to think about it anyway."Jay went to the studio that morning.The room was empty. The walls were bare. He stood in the middle of it and turned in a circle. He had no paintings. No plans. No ideas. Just a deadline and a city that was waiting for him.Rivera walked in. She didn't knock."You're back," she said."I'm back.""You're not painting.""
The hotel in London was small and old.Cracked walls. Creaky floors. A window that looked out onto a narrow street. Jay stood by the window and watched the rain fall. The sky was gray. The buildings were wet. The city was quiet. He didn't know what he was feeling. Excitement. Fear. Something in between.Cole came up behind him. He put his arms around Jay's waist."What are you thinking?""That I'm here. London. The gallery. It's real.""It's real.""I don't know if I'm ready."Cole turned him around. "You're ready.""What if I'm not?""Then you fake it."Jay laughed. "That's not helpful.""It's not supposed to be helpful. It's supposed to be true."The gallery was in South Kensington.White walls. High ceilings. Track lighting. Jay's paintings were already on the walls. Thirty-five pieces. Figures in fields. Men on hills. Women by the water. People standing in the light. The man on the bridge. The woman in the crowded street. The man in the dark room with the window.Jay walked throug
Jay couldn't sleep.He lay in bed staring at the ceiling. London. Another city. Another show. Another thirty-five paintings. His mind was racing. He couldn't turn it off. He couldn't slow it down.Cole was asleep next to him. His breathing was steady. His arm was draped across Jay's chest. Jay didn't move. He didn't want to wake him.He stared at the ceiling until the sky outside turned from black to gray. Then he got up.He walked to the kitchen. He made coffee. He sat at the table. He stared at the wall.Cole found him an hour later."Jay," Cole said. His voice was rough with sleep."I'm here.""You're up early.""Couldn't sleep."Cole sat next to him. "Thinking about London?""Thinking about everything."Cole reached for his hand. "You don't have to decide today.""I know.""But you're going to think about it anyway."Jay nodded. "I'm going to think about it anyway."Jay went to the studio that morning.The room was empty. The walls were bare. He stood in the middle of it and turne
The flight to New York was long.Jay sat by the window. Cole sat next to him. The plane lifted off. The city shrank below them. Jay pressed his face to the glass. He watched until the buildings disappeared. Then he watched the clouds. Then he watched nothing at all."You're quiet," Cole said."I'm thinking.""About the show?""About everything."Cole reached over. He took Jay's hand. "We're going to be okay.""We?""Us. Together. Always."Jay squeezed his hand. "I love you."Cole squeezed back. "I know."The hotel was in Manhattan.Tall building. Small room. A view of the skyline. Jay stood by the window. The city was sprawling below him. Millions of people. Millions of faces. And soon, they would all be looking at his work.Cole came up behind him. He put his arms around Jay's waist."What are you thinking?""That I'm here. New York. The gallery. It's real.""It's real.""I don't know if I'm ready."Cole turned him around. "You're ready.""What if I'm not?""Then you fake it."Jay la
Chapter One :Cole pov I hated him before I even sat down. Maya texted me his name that afternoon Jay Menisa and my jaw clenched. Not because I knew anything about him. Because I knew Maya. She falls fast. She falls hard. And I’m the one who scrapes her off the pavement every time. So when I wal
Chapter Fourteen :Jay pov I woke up at 5am to the sound of rain hitting my window.The sky was gray. The streets were wet. My apartment was cold. I pulled the blanket tighter around my shoulders and stared at the ceiling.I'd been doing that a lot lately. Staring at ceilings. Thinking about things
Chapter Thirteen :Cole pov I didn't sleep after Maya let me in.Not that night. Not the next night. I just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying every word she said.You're still my brother. I still love you. Even when I'm angry.Those words kept me alive.The guest house was dark. Quiet.
Chapter Twelve : Maya povI stared at my phone for twenty minutes before I typed the message.My thumb hovered over the keyboard. My heart was pounding. My hands were shaking. I hadn't spoken to Jay in weeks. Not really. A few texts. Short ones. Careful ones. Nothing that meant anything.But I coul







