I'm a dreamer.... I have been dreaming about my best friend for as long as I can remember..... A first kiss has been saved for him.... Now I am 21 years old with secrets and a fake world around me. Can I keep it all from crumbling down? Can I keep the past where it belongs?
View MoreSabrina's POV
"Leave Nicholas! Because soon he will reconcile with his ex-wife!" My body jerked in shock, and my eyes widened in disbelief at what my mother-in-law had just said. I am a twenty-three-year-old woman squeezing the blue party dress I am wearing. "W-what do you mean by that, Mom?" I asked in a choked voice. My mother-in-law smiled sarcastically, her eyes staring at me with a sharp gaze. "Don't you realize? Since the beginning of your marriage until now, Nicholas has never loved you!" said the glamorously dressed middle-aged woman. "Because Nicholas's true love is only Hazel!" I was silent, with mixed feelings. I wanted to refute, but my tongue felt numb because I knew my mother-in-law was right. My husband never loved me. My heart was beating fast; fear and confusion engulfed my mind. I never expected that Nicholas's relationship with his ex-wife was still unfinished. I felt like I was kicked from a height, my trust shattered into pieces. "You see there!" said my mother-in-law, pointing towards a pair of humans who were chatting intimately in the middle of the party. "Don't they look very harmonious? Has Nicholas ever been that warm with you?" I swallowed hard. Those words stabbed at me, tearing my heart apart cruelly. I couldn't take my eyes off my husband, who looked so different tonight. Nicholas, my husband, a tall, handsome man in a black tuxedo who was currently carrying his little son, was having a warm conversation with his ex-wife, Hazel. The smile on Nicholas's face was the first time I had seen it in the three years I had been married to him. "You should wake up, me. You will never be worthy of being with my son." After saying that sharp sentence, my mother-in-law left, leaving me alone as if to confirm that I had no one to defend me. Disappointment and heartache engulfed me. I felt like I was let down by the person I had always trusted. I didn't know what to do; my heart was broken, and despair began to creep into me. "Will Nicholas really reconcile with her?" I thought bitterly. My chest felt tight, as if a knife had stabbed my heart. "Mommy...!" The loud scream of a boy broke my reverie. I saw my stepson crying while running towards me. I forced a smile and immediately hugged the tiny body warmly. "Why are you crying, honey? Daddy is here," I said while carrying Charlie. "I don't like it! Charlie doesn't like that auntie!" Charlie shouted, pointing at Hazel, his biological mother. I tried to calm the boy down and decided to approach Nicholas and Hazel, who had been trying to chase Charlie. Hazel greeted my arrival with a deep gaze and a sweet smile on her thin lips. Her hand slipped quickly to hold Nicholas's arm. "Hi. You must be me, right?" Hazel greeted, still with the same friendly smile. "I'm Hazel.” I nodded after being silent for a moment, observing Hazel's actions. "Hello, I'm Sabrina," I replied awkwardly. "Nice to meet you, Sabrina. I came here at the invitation of Nicholas's parents; they know I just came back from Canada yesterday," Hazel explained with a beaming face while looking at Nicholas, who was standing next to her. I could only give a thin smile when I saw Nicholas not pushing Hazel's hand away. "I'm also glad to meet you, Hazel." Nicholas glanced at his son, who was hugging my neck tightly. He approached me and tried to persuade Charlie, but his son got angry instead. "No way!" Charlie shouted in refusal. "Honey, Hazel is your mother too," Nicholas coaxed, rubbing the top of his son's head. "No! She is not my mother!" Charlie’s shout made Nicholas sigh, tired of coaxing his son, who had been refusing all this time. Seeing that, I tried to meditate. "It looks like Charlie is sleepy; that's why he's being fussy," I said while tightening my hug around Charlie's body, who was already leaning comfortably in my arms. Hazel's facial expression suddenly changed to one of deep sadness. The woman looked at her son, who was comfortable and calm, closing his eyes in my arms. That envious gaze... I could feel it. "You're so lucky, Sabrina. You have a husband like Nicholas, who is very warm and caring," Hazel said with a bitter smile. "And you can also win Charlie's heart." I could only remain silent. Hazel then smiled a little, approached me, and patted her son's head before her gaze shifted to Nicholas. "If I hadn't prioritized my education, maybe we would still be together and be a happy family..." Hazel's voice sounded hoarse. "I really want to feel what it's like to be loved by my biological son," she said while sobbing. Right in front of me, Nicholas suddenly gave Hazel a handkerchief to wipe away his ex-wife's tears. A little attention that I had never received from that man. "You can meet Charlie at my house anytime," Nicholas said. "You are his mother." Hearing that, a feeling of happiness radiated clearly from Hazel's face. Her two hands held Nicholas's hands warmly. "Thank you very much, Nicholas! I will visit often until Charlie is close to me." Everyone stared at the two of them and started whispering, especially when they saw me being ignored. I could only lower my head, suppressing the sadness in my heart. I realized I was not the woman my husband had wanted all this time. I hugged Charlie, who was sleeping in my arms, and decided to take him up to the second floor in Nicholas's family residence. My steps felt uncertain. From the beginning, this marriage based on my grandfather's will had never been colored by happiness. And now, everything was on the brink. When I had just laid Charlie's tiny body on the bed, the bedroom door suddenly opened, and Nicholas appeared, immediately going inside. "I will stay here; go home with the driver," Nicholas said without looking at me, as I sat on the edge of the bed. I stared at my husband's sturdy back as he stood in front of the dressing table, taking off his watch. I wanted to ask why, but I felt that doing so would only make my husband angry. So I just said, "Okay. Can I take Charlie?" "No. My mother wants to sleep with her grandson tonight," Nicholas said in his usual cold tone. "Go home by yourself; don't take my son." I swallowed hard and squeezed my cold fingers. It felt like being pierced with thorns in my heart. Tonight would be the umpteenth night that I slept alone without Nicholas because usually, we only sleep together when my husband wants warmth from me. I approached Charlie, who looked sound asleep on the bed. "Mommy, come home, honey. Charlie, don't be naughty," I whispered, kissing the boy's cheek gently. After that, I grabbed my warm coat and bag from the nightstand. I stood looking at Nicholas, who was now giving me a flat look. "If Charlie cries, take him home," I asked. I said that because I was the only one who could calm Charlie down, and Nicholas knew that. However, there was no answer from Nicholas. He just walked away, leaving me. When I arrived downstairs, I saw Nicholas in the middle of a party with his mother and Hazel. They seemed to be having a warm and close conversation. Seeing that togetherness, I felt as if my presence was a barrier for Nicholas and Hazel. I pressed my aching chest. "What... What do I and this marriage mean to you, Nicholas?”Buzz Buzz Buzz……Buzz Buzz Buzz……. Buzz My phone was on vibrate to prevent me from being disturbed while writing yet the buzzing sound at that moment seemed louder than the actual ringtone. Writers block was a bitch.Buzz Buzz Buzz…….Buzz Buzz Buzz……..Buzz Ugh!?! I answered the phone after the second ring. “Grand Central Station, how may I help you?” “Is this that famous author T.J. Clark? Also known as my best friend Tara?” I could hear Erin Lakes haughty laugh on the other line. “Why no, it is not. This is T.J. Clark formerly known as a best selling author, and now not known at all…. Erin I cannot get one page complete without backing up and erasing everything.” I whined. “Im writing more and more of nothing at all. Maybe I should find a new profession. Maybe Java Hut down the street is hiring. Or, I could apply at the Winn Dixie.” “No such event will occur missy! You will get back on your game and write a hundred more best sellers.” She encouraged. “Let’s get out and go somew
I didn’t hear from Dustin after that night. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months of self pity. Wondering what I did wrong. How I could possibly fix it until one day it just clicked. Dustin and I were through. Now I know what you are thinking. Obviously, we were through when he wouldn’t return my calls. I guess I was just hoping that he would. Hoping that our friendship meant more to him than whatever had caused him to turn his back on me. Finally, three months after the store was trashed and my dreams were officially squashed, I decided to leave. The insurance I had for the store barely covered the damages and there was not enough money to start over, so I handed in my keys to the store three weeks later. I really didn’t have any ties left for Cape Shore, unless you counted Jenny. The only one that actually stuck by me. She would check in on me from time to time, but I just shut myself off. Her visits to my loft became fewer and further between. My trips outside becam
A few moments later an officer walked into my loft. He was tall, lean, in his mid-forties if I had to guess with a no-nonsense look to him. He also had a hint of, what was that… pity? As he walked over to me I tried to reel in my emotions and my mental facets to get through the next conversation. “Miss Stevens, my name is Detective Reynolds. How are you feeling?” “I’m ok. I apologize for what transpired down there. I guess I was a mix of too much alcohol mixed with shock.” I don’t know why I felt the need to apologize but I did. I felt ridiculous for passing out like that in front of everyone given the situation. “Oh, no worries at all ma’am. I am just glad you’re feeling better. Do you think you are up for answering a few questions? We can meet again tomorrow or the day after once you’ve had some rest, but I would like to ask a few questions to get a jump on what happened here.” “Sure, I don’t know how much help I could be. Even though I was in the same building, I didn’t hear a t
A few hours later, I found myself drowning my sorrows in the last bottle of wine in the cabinets. Make that bottle number three for the night and call me done. How could I have been so ignorant through all these years. I’ve loved him for so long that I never truly looked at the man behind the dream. A knock on the door brought me out of my reverie. Looking at the clock, I noticed it was close to 3 am. Who could be stopping by at this time. Thinking it was probably Dustin coming to apologize for how he acted, I ran/stumbled to the door in my drunken haze and threw the door open. To my shock it was actually the police. “Ma’am are you Tara Stevens?” asked the officer. “Yes, sir” I replied, noticing a slur to my speech I tried to sober up. “Ma’am, I am going to need you to come downstairs. There has been a disturbance in your store that we need you to see.” the officer replied. “Wait, what kind of disturbance. My store is closed.’” hic
When we reached home, I parked in front of the store and decided on checking everything before heading upstairs. When Dustin got out of his truck, he followed me through the front entrance and we both looked around to make sure everything was ok. Once I was satisfied, we locked up and headed up to the loft. Dustin knew my routine, so he didn’t question it. I was grateful. Sometimes my obsessions make me embarrassed when others comment about them. I unlocked the door and headed inside. I had completely forgotten to lock my damn bedroom door again!! Oh my god. I could kill that cat. Sure, enough he was in there and my scarves, underwear, socks, and even jewelry were scattered throughout the room. I even found a scarf in the living room behind the couch. This cat is the devil. He is seriously out to get me. Dustin just burst out laughing. Enjoying watching me scurry around after the cat knocking things over as I tried to catch him and put him in his pet carrier. He was grounded and
Chapter 3 The rest of the weekend had gone off without a hitch. There were no more threatening phone calls. Dustin and Beth went away for the weekend on an overnight rendezvous up in Maine and Jenny came by Sunday for our weekly dinner and movie night. Everything was starting to settle again. It was Monday morning, and I was ready to head to the bank and apply for my first loan. I had officially decided that it was time to act like an adult and not think it was weak to need help. Everyone gets loans. It is part of life. If you cannot afford it at the time, then you get a loan. Simple as that. I left the loft at 9:30 since the store doesn’t open until one on Mondays, I had enough time to go to the bank and fill out all of the forms. I brought all of my financials with me in case there was something specific that they needed for the loan information. When I stepped into the bank, I walked over to the direction of the offices and waited in the line for business accounts and loans. I
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