Simula

Trigger Warning!

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A clear sky opened up for Raelynn when she woke up in the morning. She was outside on the veranda, overlooking the beautiful view outside. She wore her nighties, but she just covered them with a robe. Her soft and milky skin is glistening in the scorching sun.

She looked up at the sky and eventually stopped when she saw a halo around the sun. She stared at it for a moment and smiled bitterly. As she closed her eyes, the scene of yesterday flashed back in her mind, a hurtful memory that she had buried in herself and carried until now.

When I was a kid, I always wanted to see a rainbow, because my father used to say that a rainbow represents a good symbol in your life. It's a remembrance that something good will happen to you... but it's the opposite.

I used to like it.

I used to... But not until that one tragic night happened.

Flashback Year 2008

It's raining cats and dogs outside. The fain sob of a child echoes the force of the rain. She had no companion inside but only herself. sitting on the bed and hugging her tightly as if she was drawing strength from her. 

And when the loud thunder came, Raelynn cried so hard. She was trembling and unable to step on her feet. At that moment, she prayed that someone would come to her rescue.

And at those times, Raelynn rejoiced because God had granted her request. One snip and her father came after her.

"Papa"  Her voice was so weak to hear. Her father hugged her immediately when he saw her daughter trembling with fear.

He stroked his hair and kissed the top of her head. With that simple gesture, Raelynn's heart rejoices with so much love that she received from her father. She hugged her father tightly as if she was afraid to let go of him, afraid of the thought that her father would leave her.

"Papa's here stop crying, hmm? Dito lang si papa hindi kita iiwan" her father kisses her temple again. "It breaks my heart when I see you crying, do you want papa's heart to hurt?" Little Raelynn shook her head. She doesn't want to hurt her father because of her.

Pinatatag niya ang sarili at nag angat ng tingin sa kaniyang papa, gumanti 'din ito ng ngiti ng may sumilay na ngiti sa kaniyang magandang mga labi.

"That's my little angel" Raelynn's smile grew even wider when she hear the endearment her father used to call her.

"Do you want papa to sleep beside you?" Raelynn twinkle in joy and nodded his head. Her father chuckled at her reaction.

His father fixed her bed and help her to lay down. Slowly Raelynn start to calm down when she heard his father softly humming. Sa lamyos ng boses ng kaniyang ama ay unti unting napapasunod si Raelynn sa mga ritmong kinakanta nito, para siyang dinuduyan sa ganda ng boses nito. Inangat niya ang kaniyang paningin sa ama at ngumiti dito, patunay na masaya siya sa araw na ito dahil kasama niya ang kaniyang ama. Kagustuhan 'man ni Raelynn na titigan lang' ang kaniyang ama pero ang kaniyang talukap na mata ay unti unti ng pumipikit. Hindi na malinaw sa kaniyang paningin ang itsura nito. 'kaya ng makita siya na nilalabanan ang kaniyang antok ay kusang gumalaw ang mga kamay nito at iginaya papikit ang kaniyang mga mata.

Bago 'pa siya magpatangay sa antok ay narinig niya ang huling sinabi nito.

"Hindi mo kasalanan anak."

Para siyang kinapos ng hininga ng magising siya sa diwa niya. Her eyes wondered how she ended up in the kitchen. She just remembered that she dozed off to sleep, but why is she here? How did she end up here? Did she sleepwalk again? What's happening with her? 

She knows something is wrong with her, and she can't pinpoint what it is that makes her act this way. 

Raelynn's hand was full of blood. Wala sa sariling nabitawan niya ang kustsilyong puno ng dugo. Blood was flowing in his hand that she did not know where it came from. She starred at the drops of blood on the cold tiles until her eyes stopped at the man lying now and could hardly see his appearance with the amount of blood flowing on his face and all over his body.

"w-what is t-this?" 

Sa lamig at tahimik na lugar ng kanilang mansyon, parang isang kidlat ang yumanig sa tahimik na ligar. Raelynn's eyes turned to her mother and sister hurrying down the stairs. SInalubong ng tingin ni Raelynn ang kapated pero hindi siya nito pinansin at nagpatuloy na nilampasan siya at ng kaniyang ina.

"Mama," Aniya pero hindi siya nito binalingan ng tingin at humahangos na tinungo ang lalaking namumutla na sa daming dugo ang umaagos sa katawan nito. Suddenly she felt frozen oh her spot, she doesn't even know why, but she's scared.

"What did you do Raelynn?!"  Her mother's voice was echoed in the whole kitchen. Raelynn felt a shiver. Ito ang unang beses na sigawan siya ng ina. Hindi niya inaakala na kaya 'pala siyang sigawan nito dahil puro pagmamahal at pag aaruga ang binigay sakaniya ng Ina. Per bakit ngayon? Hindi niya maintindihan!

"Mama" all she can do was call her mother. She's scared! she can't think properly, all her mind was occupied with the thoughts of happening right now. All she knows was that she was in the room and peacefully sleeping, and his father was with her the whole time. Pero ang ipinagtataka niya ay 'kung bakit siya andito sa kusina at punong puno ng dugo ang kamay niya.

"What did you do?!" tumingin si Relynn sakaniyang Ina na namumula na sa galit. Her eyes showed how angry and hurt she was now. But she was surprised by the strong slap inflicted on him.

"You killed him!" nanginginig ang buong katawan ni Raelynn. Wala siya sa wisyo ng mga sandaling ito at hindi niya alam ang nangyayari sa kaniyang sarili. Paano siya napunta sa ganitong posisyon, hindi niya alam. Wala siyang maalala. Sinubukan niyang lapitan ang kaniyang Ina pero humakbang ito palayo sakaniya. Nasasaktan siya sa ginawa ng Ina. Sanay siya sa pagmamahal na pinapakita nito sakaniya at hindi ito iyon. Puno ito ng galit na hindi niya alam kung saan nanggagaling.

"M-Mama, I-I don't know what's happening, Please po, huwag niyo po akong layuan. N-Nsasaktan po ako" She tried to hold her mother hand but she slap it away. Nasasaktan siya at sa tingin niya namumula ang kamay niya sa lakas ng hampas ng kaniyang Ina.

"You killed you father!" Aniya. Parang isang malakas na bagay ang nagpahinto sa kaniya. Isang rebelasyon na hindi niya kayang paniwalaan. Raelynn felt cold on her spot. She felt her hand shaking and her heart was pouding so fast.

F-Father?

Kill?

Nasapo ni Raelynn ang kaniyang ulo at nakayukong ginawaran niya ulit ng tingin ang lalaking sinabing papa niya. Mula ulo hanggang paa kilala niya kung sino iyon, hindi siya puwedeng magkamali! Tinignan niya ang kamay nito kun saan may nakasuot na singsing sa daliri nito, pero nanghihinang napahakbang palayo si Raelynn ng makita ang singsing ng papa niya. Nasapo niya ang kaniyang bibig at hindi magawang ipasok sa isipan ang nakita.

S-Si papa. I-I killed her?

Napadausdos paupo si Raelynn at parang hangin na kinuha lahat nang natitira niyang lakas. She can't find a word to speak. Sobrang hina niya sa mga oras na iyon. Hindi niya maintindihan. Wala siyang maintindihan.

Why can't she remember a thing?!

Why did she end up in this horrible situation?!

"M-Mama, I-I don't know what happened, I-I can't remember a thing"

Alma looked wearily at her husband's body. Her heart ached with the extreme pain. Her mind was full of the question of why Raelynn was able to kill him? Raelynn was a good daughter and she could not make up a reason why this happened.

"Papa!" Naiiyak na niyakap ni Alma ang kaniyang panganay na anak na si Liliana. Naawa siya para sa kaniyang anak pero wala siyang magawa 'kundi ang damayan ito. They both hurt mentally.

"Shh...Maayos din' ang lahat anak, tahan na" pag aalo ni Alma sa anak pero si Liliana ay hindi siya kayang pakinggan. Iyak ito ng iyak at nasasaktan siya na makita sa ganitong sitwasyon ang kaniyang anak.

"How can it be fixed mama? Papa is gone, we can't see him anymore. He was killed!"Natuptop ni Alma ang kaniyang bibig. Gusto niyang umiyak sa mga oras na ito pero tinatagan niya ang sarili para sa anak. She can't bear to see her daughter suffered like this." I hate her mama, I hate Raelynn" 

"Your daughter has PTSD Alma. We were currently examining her and the result found that she also 'cause a self-conscious" Nasa loob ng opisina ng kaibigan si Alma. Her friend was a big help to know what was wrong with Raelynn. Nakikinig siya dito at parang hindi handa ang sarili niya sa malalaman para sa anak.

"What? Self-conscious, how? I mean can you enlighten me" naguguluhang aniya. Huminga ng malalim si Sheen at malamlam ang matang tumingin sakaniya.

"Alma a person with such behavior I would call being "self-conscious" why? Because a person who is afraid of other things is very normal to us because we just avoid something that we think is not good for ourselves. We only become aggressive because there are only things that come into our minds that push us to take action such as avoiding or hurting others because maybe to show them that we don't like something or someone. A person cannot be called unconscious in what they do if they know what they are going to do is wrong, right? But maybe there are such scenarios in people's minds where they seem to be confused to make the right decision, it is because of stress or problem around you or them." 

"So parang sinasabi mo na may ginawang mali ang asawa ko sa anak ko para gawin niya iyon? To killed him Sheen?"  kunot noong tanong ni Alma kay Sheen. Umiling si Sheen at huminga ito ng malalim.

"It's not like that. Walang may kasalanan at hindi kasalanan ni Raelynn ang nangyari" malumanay na aniya ni Sheen na 'tila pinaiintindi dito. Inabot ni Sheen ang kamay ni Alma at pinisil iyon " I know how you feel, Alma, but don't put all the blame on Raelynn. I know she didn't want it all to happen. She's also the victim here. She suffered a lot, and you too. Her mental health is at risk. We were trying to help her. But if she is so persistent that she doesn't want to help herself, we can do nothing. You see, Alma, all we can do is to help your daughter get through this, but if she punishes herself, we will not be able to help him fix it. She can't drink her medicine or eat her food. I know it's hard for you to accept what happened, but you also need to help your daughter because she needs a mother right now. She needs you, Alma. Hindi 'lang din' kayo ang nasasaktan sa nangyari si Raelynn 'din." 

Napatakip sa mukha si Alma. Naiinis siya sa sarili niya dahil nakalimutan niya si Raelynn, dahil sa nangyari ang anak niya ang bibuntungan niya ng galit. Naramdaman niya ang pagyakap sakaniya ni Sheen at ang paghagod nito sakaniyang likod.  She couldn't stop crying. In the past few days she had kept to herself the feelings to stay strong with her children, and because she was mad with Raelynn, she forgot that she had a child, she needed her more.

Sheen walk away from Alma and took the tissue from her drawer. She handed it to Alma and then sat in the swivel chair.

"Makukulong ba si Raelynn?" biglang tanong ni Alma. Tumaas ang kilay ni Sheen kapagkuwan ay bumuntong hininga.

"I don't know either. But don't worry because officer Benjamin says as long as they don't prove Raelynn's at fault, they won't take Raelynn from you. Besides, there is no evidence to prove that Raelynn is the one who did it. They are still doing an autopsy on your husband and when the result comes out, we will only worry about what will happen to Raelynn. But for now, pray that your daughter has nothing to do with it. "

Madami pa silang pinag usapan tungkol kay Raelynn 'kung hindi lang namamalayan ni Alma ang oras ay baka nakalimutan niya na ang anak niyang nag iintay sakaniya sa labas. Nag paalam siya kay Sheen bago umalis pero tatayo palang si Alma ay tinawag siya nito.

"Alma I forgot to tell you this but are you giving Raelynn a medicine?" Sheen ask. Kumunot ang kaniyang noo at tumango dito.

"Yes. Walang ibang iniinom si Raelynn na gamot 'kundi ang vitamins niya." Tumingin si Alma kay Sheen at naglumbabang tumingin ito sakaniya " Why did you ask anyway?" Nagtatakang aniya 

"Because some of her results found out that the cause of her memory loss is from Benzodiazepines."

"What do you mean?" Naguguluhang tanong ni Alma 

"You see Alma the doctor does not recommend Benzodiazepine unless it is necessary... And like you said there was an incident that Raelynn couldn't remember and that was because of the medicine she took." Humalukipkip si Sheen at nanliliit ang matang tumingin sakaniya. Huminga ng malalim si Alma at pinakalma ang kaniyang pusong nagkakarera sa kaba. Kinakabahan siya para 'kay Raelynn

"Imposible ang sinasabi mo. Kahit na pitong taong gulang ang anak ko alam niya ang ginagawa niya" Titig na titig 'lang si Sheen kay Alma at maya maya ay huminga ito ng malalim

"Right, It's suspicious right? I don't have a clue either." Ipinatong ni Sheen ang baba nito sa kamay niya na parang may makukuha siyang sagot doon. Later, Sheen nodded and smiled at him "Right, you need to rest. Ako ng bahala sa anak mo" Aniya. Tumango si Alma kay Sheen. She doesn't want to go home but Liliana's needs her too

"Take good care of my Raelynn for me"

"I will."

Sinundan ng tingin ni Sheen ang kaibigan at ng makalabas ito sa pinto ay saka niya lang kinuha sa drawer niya ang cellphone 

"Hello?" ngumiti si Sheen ng marinig ang boses ng kaibigan

"Hey, Sorry to disturb your peaceful vacation but I need you to do something for me."

"Sure. I have a land in Cebu worth millions." Aniya. Nasapo ni Sheen ang kaniyang noo. Alam niyang gigipitin siya ng kaibigan, kung hindi niya lang ito kailangan hindi siya manghihingi ng tulong dito. But what should I expect from him, mukha itong pera

"Fine. Just do what I want you to do."

"What is it then?" pinagisipan niya na ito kanina palang' at alam niyang may mali sa nangyayari, Ayaw niya 'man aminin pero isang tao 'lang ang tanging alam niyang makakagawa nito

You can't tell someone if it's good or not, only then will you know i

f you've found what it's hiding and that's where you'll see how bad someone is.

"I want you to investigate Alma Hayami."