Chapter One

Kate’s POV

Guilt tightened in my chest as I sat in the waiting room, awaiting the doctor.

What exactly was I doing here? I’d taken fertility tests countless times back at my pack. So why did I feel the need to go behind my husband’s back to take another elsewhere?

Finally, Dr. Sarah walked in, notepad in hand, and I rose to my feet.

“You might want to sit down for this,” she said gently. But I already knew what she was about to say. I’d heard the same words too many times.

“It’s fine,” I murmured. “Please, go on.”

She hesitated before continuing, “The test results show you’re completely fertile. There must have been a mistake or mix-up with the previous ones.”

“A mix-up?” I repeated, frowning. “That’s impossible. I’d taken the test a dozen times.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Once could be dismissed as a mistake, twice hardly, but over a dozen tests—all wrong? That doesn’t sound like a mix-up. It seems to me someone wanted you to believe otherwise.”

*

It couldn’t be true; I refused to believe it. But the doctors word echoed again in my mind — ‘Someone wanted you to believe otherwise’.

Ray’s office was locked, as usual, but I knew where he kept the spare key.

I told myself I was only doing this to proof the doctor wrong, but that did nothing to numb the guilt twisting in my chest at the fact that I was in here, snooping through his things.  

After minutes of fruitless searching, I contemplated giving up. But then my gaze drifted to the cabinet; the only place I was yet to check.

I glanced once more at the door, before lowering to my knees. The cabinet was locked.

I searched around for the key, hands trembling, finally I found it hidden beneath the desk mat.

I unlocked the cabinet and in there were…medical files.  I picked it up, looking through it. Contained in the file were test results—Ray had been taking fertility tests too. But the question was why? The pack healers had earlier confirmed he was fine.  

My gaze dropped to the remarks on each result; “zero sperm count,” “low semen volume,” “negative for fertility.”

My breath caught in my throat. It felt like the floor gave way beneath me.

I sank to the ground, clutching the papers to my chest, sobs racking through me. He’d been the infertile one. All this time, he’d known the truth.

*****

When Ray came home later that night, I was waiting in the living room. The files I’d discovered laid open on the table before me.

He froze when he saw them.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. Then, in a voice I barely recognized as mine, I whispered, “Why, Ray?”

 “Where did you find this?” he questioned, I thought I saw a hint of panic in his eyes.

“You’d let me believe I was broken,” I said, tears sliding down my cheeks. “You watched me grieve something that wasn’t even true. I’d spent years believing I wasn’t good enough for you or the pack, because you made me believe I was the infertile one.”

“Katie… I would have told you.” He whispered, his guilt gaze meeting mine. “You weren’t supposed to find out like this,”

“You had all the time to tell me the truth, but you didn’t. I thought you loved me,”

“I do, Kate, I love you and that is exactly why I married you—"

“You don’t lie to the person you love, and neither do you deceive them. But I loved you, Ray, I loved you so much that I would have accepted you even with the knowledge that we would never be able to have a child together and you knew that, so why did you choose to deceive me?”

“I was scared. I was scared the pack would find out and… I’ll be marked a failure, I was scared of the possibility that you’d leave me too when you discovered the truth.”

“So instead, you placed the blame on me.”

“Watch your tone! Do you think I enjoyed lying to you? To everyone?  My duty is to protect his pack before anything else. Do you think they would still respect me if they knew their leader couldn’t sire an heir?”

Once, I’d been the respected daughter of a Beta-wolf. The girl with a promised bright future. I got married to love of my life, an Alpha at that—I was living every she-wolf’s dream, but it all changed when the news got out that I was ‘infertile’. The love I’d once received from the pack doubled into hatred. I was the Luna of the Moonrise Pack by title, but I’d long stopped being respected as one.

I should hate him for all he’d put me through and I had every right to, but staring at him, torn and broken, all I felt was… pity. He was right; If the pack discovered the truth about him, he would be deemed weak and unfit to rule.

“Katie. Please. You’re all I have; I can’t lose you.”

I loved him. I hated him. I hated myself too.

“Promise me Ray, promise me that they’d be no more secrets between us,”

“I swear on my life.”

I naively believed that he would keep his promise and never lie to me again.