Chapter 7

We danced the way two people dance when they are both pretending to be fine.

His hand at my waist was light and careful and my hand rested on his shoulder. May six inches gap sa pagitan namin and the heat emanating from his body made me feel safe.

"You're a good dancer," I said.

"My mother made me take lessons. Every Saturday for six years."

"That explains the posture."

"It explains the trauma." There was a smile in his voice. "She said a man who can't dance has no business building houses for people who do."

"She sounds wonderful."

"She was." He said simply. "She passed away when I was nineteen."

I looked up. His eyes had gone somewhere far away. "I'm so sorry, Lex."

"Thank you. She dreamed of building small, sturdy houses for families who had nothing. After she was gone, my father kept the company going, and I'll always be grateful for that. He grieves by working. But somewhere along the way, her little houses turned into tall glass towers, and I don't think either of us noticed."

Tahimik lang ako habang sumasayaw. I was afraid that if I said anything, I would break whatever small, fragile thing was happening between us.

The song ended. Another began and neither of us let go.

Then, with a click and a sigh, the big chandeliers blazed back to life. The whole ballroom cheered, and the spell scattered like confetti.

Lex stepped back and his hand left my waist.

"Do you want some air?" biglang tanong niya. "Five minutes. I'll walk you back after. No strings."

I should have said no. "Okay, Five minutes."

The storm had finally passed. The beach path was shiny from the rain, and the air smelled of wet ground and salt. Stars slowly appeared in the sky as the clouds cleared. I took off my heels because they hurt, even though they made me look like I had my life together.

"You're barefoot."

"I just wanted to give my feet a break at i-enjoy ang malamig na buhangin.”

Then don't let me stop you,” he said, slowing his pace to match mine. 

We walked along the edge of the sand where the little waves came in white and soft. For a while neither of us spoke, and it was a surprisingly comfortable quiet. Tama si Sir Contingency, I thought. Silence is better with the right person.

"Can I ask you something?" he said.

"That's already a question."

"That was my warm-up." He stopped walking. "Why do you work so hard? You said Ramon wants you to show people who you are. But you're afraid to."

I almost said that's none of your business. Instead, what came out was, "Because the last time I let someone see everything, he left."

Lex did not respond.

"Eleven months ago," sabi ko, apparently the ocean makes you confess things. "On my sofa and over takeout food, my then fiancé told me he can’t feel the spark anymore, and he unplugged me."

He let out a long breath and shook his head.

“Maybe it's not the spark. Maybe it's a faulty connection.” he said with a straight face.

I burst into a laugh, and kept doing so until my eyes started to sting. Tumawa narin siya, low and honest.

“Have you tried plugging yourself into someone else?” Dagdag pa niya.

"Terrible." I wiped my cheek. I suddenly feel better and something in me filled with light I hadn't let in for eleven months.

"Luna," he said, and his voice changed. “You’re not a lamp. You're a lighthouse and you're meant to shine. People like him just never learned to look out at the water."

Sumikip ang lalamunan ko at hindi ko naiwasang tumulo ang mga luha. I was so embarrassed I could have walked into the waves.

"Hey," he said gently. "Hey."

Hindi niya ako niyakap at sinabihan na huwag umiyak. He just stepped a little closer, so I could feel him there, warm and patient at my shoulder.  Marahan niyang pinunasan ang luha ko.

I looked up at him. Sa ilalim ng mga bituin, hindi na siya ang kalaban ko. He wasn't the Heir Who Builds. He was a man with tired eyes and a mouth that was very, very close.

"Luna," he said softly. "If I kiss you, it won't be strictly business."

"I know," I whispered.

"Tell me to stop."

I didn't say a word.

He leaned in, slowly, giving me every chance to turn away, and the whole world shrank to the half-inch between us—

May alon na biglang humampas sa dalampasigan, at pareho kaming nabasa hanggang tuhod.

Napahiyaw ako. Napasigaw rin si Lex. For one terrible second, nakatayo lang kami roon, basang-basa at nanlalaki ang mga mata. Then sabay kaming natawa nang todo, halos mapayuko sa kakatawa, hawak ang mga sapatos namin.

"The ocean.. has rules too." Hinihingal na sambit ni Lex.

"The ocean broke ours," habol-hininga kong sagot.

Naglakad kami pabalik sa lobby, nag-iwan ng basang footprints sa sahig at halos magkadikit ang mga balikat namin. In the elevator neither of us said a word, but our hands were brushing, just barely, between us. At our door he held it open for me, and I walked in and turned toward my little room, and he stood in the middle of the living room.

"Goodnight, Luna."

"Goodnight, Lex."

He went into the big bedroom and the door clicked shut.

Later, I lay on the lumpy sofa bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to the sea. Hindi ako makatulog. Paulit-ulit sa isip ko ang bawat salita niya, ang init ng kamay niya sa pisngi ko, ang almost kiss namin.

I checked my phone: 12:41 a.m.

That was when I heard the knock. Two soft taps on my door.

"Luna?" His voice was low on the other side of the wood. "Rule four. I knocked. I'm waiting."

Kumabog ng malakas ang puso ko. I had a rule about this, I knew I did.

I just couldn't remember it.