LOGINThe first thing I knew was the light.Mainit at golden ang sikat ng araw sa labas, typical Hawaiian sunshine, na sumisilip sa pagitan ng mga kurtina. Tumama ito sa puting bedsheet, sa hubad kong balikat, at sa mahabang brasong nakayakap sa bewang ko.The second thing I knew was the quiet. No alarm, no rain. Ang naririnig ko lang ay ang marahang paghinga sa likod ng leeg ko at ang mga alon ng dagat sa labas.Ang pangatlong bagay na hindi ko inaasahan ay ang mapansin kong nakangiti ako."I can hear you thinking," sabi ng paos at antok na boses malapit sa balikat ko.Nanigas ako. "I'm not.""You are. It's very loud." Humigpit ang yakap niya, at nang maramdaman ko ang malambot niyang halik sa batok ko, unti-unting natunaw ang panic. "Good morning, Luna.""Good morning." Pumihit ako paharap sa kanya. Nakasandal siya sa isang siko, magulo ang buhok, at nakatitig sa akin at mukhang wala siyang kahit anong pinagsisihan. In daylight, he looked younger. I am so happy it made my chest hurt."If
We drove back. I remember Uncle Dale's headlights sliding over wet streets, Tita Marites handing me a polaroid, and Lex's palm on my knee in the back seat, a question I answered by lacing my fingers through his. Pagdating sa hotel, wala nang bakas ng mai tai sa utak ko. I was completely clear-headed, and that was the scary part. Alam ko kung ano ang gusto kong mangyari and I wanted it with my whole body. Pagsakay namin sa elevator, Lex stood very still. "Luna. If you want your own room tonight, I'll walk you there and say goodnight. You don't owe me anything." His voice was calm and restraint. "I know," I whispered. Inabot ko ang batok niya and pulled him down. This kiss had no crowd, no laughter, no noise. Mabagal, malalim, my back against the cool mirror, his hand under my jaw. Ding. Our floor. Neither of us moved for three whole seconds. The suite was dark, the sea breathing beyond the glass. He shut the door and leaned his forehead against mine. "Tell me to stop," anas niya
The first mai tai was strong enough to knock the stiffness out of my spine. The second tasted like a vacation. By the third, I had stopped counting, kasi masaya ako, and I hadn't been this happy in so long. Kalani's place was the kind of bar where strangers become friends in under ten minutes. A retired cook told Lex he had the posture of a man who'd been to charm school. Two nurses from Kapiolani Hospital taught me how to say cheers in Hawaiian. Tita Marites, ruling the room from a stool, corrected the karaoke lyrics out loud. "Tita, how did you and Kalani meet?" I asked her. Tita Marites put a hand to her chest. "Ay, anak. I came from Pampanga for a nursing conference, fifteen years ago. Thirty-seven ako, pagod na pagod sa trabaho, tapos broken-hearted. I walked into this bar for one drink. Isa lang. And there was this big stupid Hawaiian with a ponytail who said, 'You look like you need a lei.'" "And you married him the next morning?" said Lex. "The next noon," Pagtatama niya
My hand was on the doorknob, and I had about four seconds to decide who I wanted to be.Option one: the sensible woman who said goodnight through the door and went back to her lumpy sofa bed. Option two: the woman who had cried on a beach tonight and badly wanted to be held without anyone asking why.Bahala na. I opened the door.Lex stood in the dark living room in a gray T-shirt and pajama, one hand on the doorframe, the other closed in a fist. He looked like he had been standing there a long time, arguing with himself and losing."I couldn't sleep," he said."Neither could I.""I know. I could hear you turn over every eleven seconds.""Hindi yun reason to knock on my door at one in the morning.""No. But this is."He opened his fist and on his palm lay a tiny, slightly crushed, cream-colored crocheted moon.My breath left me. "You found it.""Under the sofa, after the lights came back." Pag-amin niya. "I should have told you in the elevator. I'm sorry.""Bakit hindi mo sinabi?"He
We danced the way two people dance when they are both pretending to be fine.His hand at my waist was light and careful and my hand rested on his shoulder. May six inches gap sa pagitan namin and the heat emanating from his body made me feel safe."You're a good dancer," I said."My mother made me take lessons. Every Saturday for six years.""That explains the posture.""It explains the trauma." There was a smile in his voice. "She said a man who can't dance has no business building houses for people who do.""She sounds wonderful.""She was." He said simply. "She passed away when I was nineteen."I looked up. His eyes had gone somewhere far away. "I'm so sorry, Lex.""Thank you. She dreamed of building small, sturdy houses for families who had nothing. After she was gone, my father kept the company going, and I'll always be grateful for that. He grieves by working. But somewhere along the way, her little houses turned into tall glass towers, and I don't think either of us noticed."T
Hindi kami nag-usap sa elevator.Twenty floors down, and neither of us said a word. Lex stood on one side with his hands in his pockets, as if they might get ideas. I stood on the other and stared at the floor numbers like they were counting down to something scary. Every ding sounded louder than it should have.That was when I touched my left ear and found it bare."Oh no! I lost an earring. One of my moons." I patted my hair, shoulder and scanned the elevator floor. "Nahulog siguro kanina.""We can go back and look.""It's fine. Sinulid lang 'yon." It wasn't just thread. It had taken me an entire night over the Pacific. Pero hindi ako iiyak over a crocheted crescent in front of Lex Legaspi.He didn't say anything, but his hand slid into his jacket pocket and stayed there."At least the lights are back on," he said finally, to the elevator door."Yes. Very nice lights.""Great lights. Excellent lights."Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong tumawa. He must have seen it in the reflection of th







