Lolo

LILA

For what felt like ages, I stood in that spot, wondering if I had really been so blind all these years.

To Lowell, I was either Claire, his first love, his maid, or a convenience. Never once had he seen me as Lila.

Struggling to stop the tears, I bit down on my lips,

At least one thing was sure: he had given me the confirmation I needed to finally leave.

Pulling out my phone, I opened the chatbox to accept the offer I thought I was going to reject by the end of the day.

"Please sign me up for the mentorship program."

I'd endured the last five years because I thought they were family. I'd be a fool if I let his first love treat me the same way.

****

Dropping my bag in the living room, I started on dinner.

Yes, my first thought was to pack my things and leave.

I already had the divorce papers signed, I didn't necessarily need to stay here until the one-month cooling period was over, but after watching him dismiss me without a second thought, I didn't want to argue anymore.

"He doesn't need to know about the divorce, Lila," I muttered to myself.

I would cook the food and go to a hotel as usual. Only this time, I wouldn't be returning home.

It didn't take long for Claire to wake up. As I prepared dinner, their loud laughter floated out of the bedroom, yet the ache I felt was almost negligible. It was as though my heart was beginning to come to terms with the fact that Lowell and I were never meant to be.

Sometime later, his mother and sister joined too.

While they all moved to the living room, catching up and laughing loudly, I was in the kitchen slaving away like always when Claire appeared.

"I overheard your conversation with Lowell. I'm sorry if my presence is causing a rift between you both." Her expression was gentle, but the slight curve of her lips said otherwise.

Dishing the food, I said nothing.

"I'm sure he didn't mean the things he said," she spoke anyway. "Can you be more understanding of him?"

"I don't think a matter between a husband and wife is any of your concern, Claire."

"Of course. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm overstepping. It's just..." Her gaze lowered innocently. "I spent a great deal of time with LoLo while growing up."

"LoLo?"

"Oh, sorry," she blushed. "That was a nickname I gave him. Lowell has always found it hard to communicate his feelings. One time, he wanted me to be his Val but couldn't ask for days. I ended up finding the flowers and diamond necklace in his backpack." She sighed. "I still have the note, you know?"

No, I didn't.

All I could see was Lowell trashing the rose bouquet I had gotten him on our first wedding anniversary.

"I don't like flowers. Why do you think I've never given you one?"

"Or..." Claire continued with a reminiscing smile, "The day we went hiking, and I lost the necklace itself. I didn't want him to know, so I secretly went back to find it." She giggled. "Do you know what he did? He came after me, drove me home, then went back to search for it. Lowell spent all night looking for it, and when he finally found it, he went ballistic that I risked my life for something so fickle. But the necklace was so beautiful. You would know-if he got his childhood friend a diamond necklace, I'm sure he'd have gotten something even better for his wife."

'No, he has never', my subconscious whispered.

The only gift I'd ever received from Lowell was my wedding ring-and that was five months after the wedding, when he got tired of my begging for physical proof of marriage.

"Fine. Order it yourself." Lowell had handed me his card that fateful morning. Still, I'd been overjoyed, even though I picked out the ring myself. It took another three weeks of constant reminders before he could actually put it on. And that was it.

Could that even be called a gift?

"I don't enjoy outings. I already attend so many events."

"Thinking of what to buy as a gift is too stressful. Just take my card."

"I don't believe in Valentines, what's the point?"

Those statements came back to me, contradicting every word in Claire's stories.

Were those rules only applicable to me?

Sighing, she patted my shoulder. "I'm here to apologise on his behalf, okay?" Then, with a large smile, she picked up his already served meal and headed for the dining table.

Feeling numb, I absentmindedly plated the rest of the food.

'You're leaving tonight, Lila. Just a few more hours.' I repeated in my head, ignoring the hurt that threatened to overwhelm me.

When everyone was finally served, I took my plate to join them at the table. They were all waiting eagerly for her to take the first spoon. But as soon as I arrived, she dropped the cutlery with a sigh.

"I don't know if it's the smell, but I suddenly do not have an appetite for soup. Can I get porridge instead?"

My fingers curled tightly around the plate. I ignored her, pulling out my chair to sit. However, my mother-in-law didn't let me.

"Didn't you hear? Who is going to get the porridge for her?"