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IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. 18.
~A Few days later......~My reflection stares back at me as I spend time taking care of my hair. It's one of those chilled days but I am anything but chilled. I feel quite exhausted to be honest and would love for the day to pass by, without anything triggering or attractive for stress to give attention my way. I've kept to myself like I have always done but this time, I made sure that none I know could get a hold of me. I need time to myself and have been making damn sure, to make it possible.It's been quiet and I've liked that. I instantly regret standing before the mirror for too Long, because soon I find myself getting lost in time. My thoughts take me back to that night and once again, an unwelcome unsettling feeling takes over. ~ Flashback ~ Days ago.~William has finally left the room and joined the rest of us. I haven't missed his eyes glancing my way a couple of times, not making any secret that his attention is on me. Mrs Myers
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. 19.
" Who is it?!" I hear my mom call from the kitchen.I can't tear my eyes away from him as a lot of thoughts circulate through my mind. 'The pictures. Does this mean he also carries the same ones as mine in his envelope?'" We need to talk." He says.I don't answer but continue to stare at him. I can't wrap my head around everything. I am confused as to what is going on here?Who sent these pictures?" Milla, did you hear what I just said?" He asks, now frowning." Milla?!" I hear my mom call me and I let out a sigh before glancing over my shoulder. " It's William Mom, he wants to talk to me for a minute!" I call back to mom before stepping out of the house, closing the door behind me." We can't talk here." That's all he says before heading to his car.I let out yet another sigh, now following him.It's been a few days since we last saw each other or even talked. The days have been quiet and now this situation with the pictures, has turned everything upside down. I can't grasp the
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. 20.
There's distance between us. I made sure that there would be one because I needed to gather my thoughts. The information I've just received feels like a set back to be honest. I've been under the impression that only a few months remained before we had to negotiate something.It hadn't been easy, trying to gather all I can to cover the loan that now I was under, a loan from William. William is pretty understanding but that doesn't mean it has not been uncomfortable, knowing that I owe him so much money. It is true that he played a dirty trick into making me sign that marriage contract, under influence but still, he did help me out and paid the debt that hung heavily over my shoulders.Now I don't have to worry about the house loan but paying him back. I'm not the proudest in the way everything was solved, but what choice did I have?I tried everything I could to gather the money together, while also struggling with witnessing my mother deteriorating health. That period of my life fe
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. 21.
A deal that existed between William and I, has found itself a witness. I have no clue as to who this might be that sent that envelope, but whoever it is, must want something.There's a price for everything.There should be a price for silence, right?' You know money talks.' My consciousness says, which doesn't sit well with me.' I can't have more money problems than the one I currently have.' A huge debt already hangs over my head and I have not found a way out. I need to figure out my next steps, to finally be free and move on with my life.Being in debt is one of the most weight bearing things to experience. It surely is a relief to know that everything with the house loan is settled, but now I have to deal with the fact that I owe William Myers a whole lot of money. If mom ever found out…..‘ No, mom can't ever find out about this, well until I sort out everything.’ " I can't believe this marriage will last this long. A whole year." I hear William say from beside me." Same,
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. 22
Did I hear right or am I imagining things?" Mr Shard-----" " A towel, please Rosa." He says, cutting me off.Huh?I glance to Rosa and watch her quickly leave the room." Lets take care of you first before we talk, okay?" " O-okay?" I nod instead, not knowing a better response.Rosa( who happens to be the housekeeper), returns before I know it.I hold out my hand to receive the towel so I can dry off myself, but Mr Shard ignores that and starts drying up my hair, yet again taking me by surprise. 'You're letting him get away with a little too much now.' My consciousness says, making me realize this situation mih'There might not be much meaning into it, but I can't ignore the fact that I'm married. Let me atleast honour that, my parents would atleast expect this from me because marriage is marriage at he end of the day.' " Mr Shard." My hand on his, stops him. " I think we can talk now." I make sure to not break eye contact, even though his intense gaze makes me a little nervous,
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. 23.
" I'm being watched!" The words blurt out of me. My cheeks warm up due to my little outburst. My eyes drop to my feet then, while I mentally scold myself for not wording my words right.' How will I make sense if I act in such a way? I need to get a hold of myself, seriously.'" Milla." I turn to him.He gestures for me to take a seat on the couch, which I do before he joins me seconds later." I need an explanation." He tells me.I nod, letting out a sigh. ' Do better Milla, do better.' I scold myself." So, earlier today, I received a mail and it is the main reason why I decided to make contact." Or else I might still be a coward and not even attempt to make contact."This mail you mention, is it the reason why you believe you are being watched?"" Yes, because of what was in it.""What was in it?" This next part makes me nervous to even mention, but I know that I will have to do it if I want answers from his side."A set of pictures, the kind that would destroy everything." I fi
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. 24.
" You stopped me from seeing that man again." He says, breaking the silence that had taken over the trip back home.What's done is done now." I had to."" Will your response be the same, whenever something concerns that man?"" What do you mean will my response be the same?"" You're protecting him." He sounds accusing.And jealous." I am not protecting him." " Yes you are, you jump to the defence on his behalf like he means something to you."" That is not true." I shake my head." I find that hard to believe." "Well, it's not like you would believe anything I say anyway." I comment.My head whips in his direction when he suddenly pulls over at the side of the road.It's late and he decides to do this. " No, no, no, William Myers, you better take me home right now." I demand.He is crazy if he thinks I have the time to be arguing with him so late. We've been gone for so long and I'm pretty sure my mother must be so worried.He turns his whole body towards me, where I am given his
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. 0.1
To witness love and to experience love, is quite different.I played the role of a witness while my mother experienced love, one received from my father. He was simply a man in love, not with the idea of love, but with the woman who introduced him to love. I recall the days of admiring how beautiful and easy, they made everything seem. Everything felt right with them and I, a few times so, desired to be the one to experience such love. In unfortunate turn of events, tragedy decided to knock at our door. It claimed the life of my father, separating us and leaving us in the cold. My mother seemed lost without her other half.The desire to better relate to her pain had overwhelmed me, so much so, because all I wanted was to offer more support and be a reliable source of comfort for her. The unhealthy mindset I had then, in the early days of fresh and raw pain while mourning, was strong, I admit to this. What amazed me through it all, was the way my mother noticed where where I was ment
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