CHAPTER 3 : AVOIDANT

I was just lying on my bed, my mind focused on the book in my hands. It had been two weeks since Clyren and I went to his hospital, and we hadn’t seen each other since. Honestly, I had no plans to dwell on it. There was no point. Nothing to discuss.

But the longer I lay there, the heavier this unexplained feeling grew inside me.

I sighed and set the book aside. My stomach growled, breaking the silence, and that’s when I realized just how hungry I was. I hadn’t eaten since earlier—it was already 4 PM.

I rolled out of bed, stretching a little before heading toward the door. I walked quietly, but just as I was about to step out, a familiar voice rang from below.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Kent! I don’t believe that!”

I froze mid-step.

Wero?

Tilting my head, I opened the door a little more and peeked down the stairs.

And sure enough, there was Kent with Wero, Clyde, and Justine—but what really surprised me was seeing Clyren with them. He usually didn’t hang out with them because of how busy he was at the hospital.

I made my way downstairs, and even though I tried to be quiet, they immediately noticed me.

“Sydney!” Wero was the first to rush over, hugging me tightly. Justine followed, then Clyde, while Kent just stood off to the side with his arms crossed.

I smiled back, but I couldn’t help glancing at Clyren.

He was just standing there, watching. Hesitant.

Which… was new.

Usually, he’d be the first to greet me. Usually, he’d pull me into a hug without hesitation. Usually, he’d kiss my forehead like it was the most natural thing in the world. But now… he was distant.

Our eyes met briefly, but he quickly looked away.

Why?

I decided not to overthink it.

“I’ll just get some water,” I excused myself, forcing a smile. “I don’t feel too good.”

Before I could walk away, I glanced at Kent. “By the way, what are you guys doing here? Don’t you have a house? You could’ve just hung out there.”

He shrugged. “I just left something I needed to pick up.”

I nodded and continued toward the kitchen, but Justine called out before I could reach it.

“Wait, are you stressed? You look so pale.” He was examining my face like he could read my thoughts.

I gave a small shrug. “I just got off a flight. Seventeen hours. Haven’t slept much. Just tired.”

My body ached in agreement.

I didn’t wait for their replies. I just nodded at them and went upstairs.

Once my bedroom door closed, I collapsed onto the bed.

But no matter how hard I tried to close my eyes, one thought kept looping in my mind.

Clyren.

I didn’t know why it bothered me, but it did.

I turned onto my side. “What’s his problem?”

I buried my face in the pillow, wrapping myself in the blanket. Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to think about it anymore.

I groaned, pressing my face further into the pillow to forget the irritation creeping through me. But no matter what I did, I couldn’t shake the memory of how Clyren acted earlier.

What the hell was that?

Why was he like that all of a sudden? Like we weren’t close? Like he didn’t know me?

Oh, wow. So that’s how it’s going to be now?

I flipped onto my back, staring at the ceiling as if it had all the answers.

Before, he never hesitated. Even when we fought, even when we teased each other, he’d still be himself. He’d still joke with me, still make sure I was okay, still—ugh.

But earlier, it was like there was a wall between us.

I laid flat, taking a deep breath before turning onto my side again.

Oh well… why am I so bothered, Sydney? Do you want him to hug you and kiss your forehead?

I rolled my eyes. Of course not.

I couldn’t understand why I was so annoyed, and even less why it felt so heavy inside me.

Wasn’t this what I wanted?

Before, all I ever did was tell him not to fuss over me.

And now… all of a sudden, it feels weird because he’s not doing that anymore? He won’t even look at me the same way. And somehow, that feels even worse.

I only acted annoyed before because my feelings were getting stronger—I was falling, hoping, because of his sweet gestures. That’s why I told him it was annoying.

I turned onto my side again, trying not to curse myself silently.

This is stupid.

He’s stupid.

And I’m even more stupid for letting this get to me.

I grabbed my pillow and threw it against the wall. I hated this feeling. I hated that he was all I could think about.

“Okay, Sydney. That’s enough. Just sleep it off. Don’t think about it. Don’t overthink.” I muttered to myself.

Pulling the covers over my head, I shut my eyes tight and forced myself to sleep.

But no matter what I did, the image of Clyren’s distant expression was burned into my mind.

Annoying.

A few minutes passed, and just when I thought I was finally about to drift off, a soft knock came from my door.

“Ate?” Hera’s small voice followed. “Are you still awake?”

I glanced at the door. “Yeah, why?”

She didn’t answer right away. The door creaked open, light footsteps padded across the room, and a moment later, the bed dipped beside me.

“I can’t sleep,” she admitted, tugging at the hem of my blanket. “Can I stay here?”

I sighed, shifting over to give her space. “Hera, if this is about another scary movie you regret watching, I swear—”

“It’s not!” she cut me off with a huff. “I just… I have a question.”

I groaned into my pillow. “Can’t it wait?”

Silence stretched for a beat before she spoke again, her voice softer. “It’s about love.”

My brows furrowed, and I pushed myself up slightly. “Love?”

Hera nodded, pulling her legs up and sitting cross-legged. “How do you know if you really like someone?”

I blinked at her, my sleepiness vanishing. “Why are you asking that?”

“No reason,” she shrugged, but her fingers fiddled with the edge of my blanket. She wasn’t telling me everything. “I’m just curious.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Hera, do you have a crush?”

Her face turned bright red. “Ate! No! I told you, I’m just curious.”

I smirked, leaning closer. “Mhm. Who is it? Classmate? Neighbor? A secret admirer?”

“There’s no one!” she whined, pushing my shoulder lightly. “I’m serious!”

I chuckled, leaning back against my pillows. “Fine, fine. Hmm… how do you even know?”

For a moment, I just sat there thinking.

When you like someone, they sneak into your thoughts at the most random times. They frustrate you, make you overthink, make you feel things you don’t understand. It’s confusing. It’s annoying. It’s—

I frowned, catching myself.

Clyren.

Ugh. Clyren again.

“Ate?” Hera nudged me.

I cleared my throat. “Uh… well, I guess when you like someone, they just stick to your mind even when you don’t want them to.”

“Like… you’re always thinking about them?”

“Yeah,” I muttered, then quickly added, “But don’t let it carry you away. Sometimes it’s just a phase.”

Hera gave me a look, her lips twitching. “That sounds personal.”

“Shut up,” I muttered, tossing my pillow at her.

She giggled, hugging it to her chest. “But how do you know if it’s love for real?”

I went quiet.

Love.

That was a whole different thing.

Liking someone was one thing. But love? Love was deeper. It stripped you bare. It made you do things you swore you never would. It made you stay even when it hurt. It made you hope even when there was no reason to.

I forced a small smile and ruffled her hair. “Hera, you’re fourteen. Don’t rush.”

She pouted. “But… what if it happens when I least expect it?”

I let out a slow breath. “Then make sure you’re ready. Because once you step into it, there’s no turning back.”

She studied me for a long moment before nodding like she was committing my words to memory.

Not long after, she yawned and slowly lay down beside me. “Ate…”

“Hm?”

She hesitated before whispering, “About Kuya Clyren… does it still hurt?”

My chest tightened.

Hurt?

Yes.

But I couldn’t say that. Not to her.

Instead, I pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. “Sometimes.”

She didn’t respond after that. A few minutes later, her breathing evened out—she was asleep.

Me? I was still awake.

And no matter how hard I tried, his face wouldn’t leave my mind.