Remembrance

Reed’s pov

Today marked me one month since I left her. Since she left me. I closed my eyes and the same memory from the forest haunts me.

“Please take your warriors back to your pack with you.” She said and quaffed loudly as if she was trying not to break in tears in front of me.

“Your warriors didn’t deserve to die and that to such a horrible death and especially for me.” This time she looked away. “Please order them, if something happens to any one of them, I won’t be able to forgive myself.” A single tear escaped her eye and something inside me stirs. Her pained expression, her tearful voice lingered in my head. 

I can’t get myself away from her. And now, when she knew everything about me, she is my light. I placed my fingers on her chin and make her look into my eyes, to show her I am sincere.

“You are their Luna. Every warrior, every member of my pack want to save their Luna’s life even if they knew what it could cost them.” I said and Esma shakes her head almost in renunciation.

“Why can’t you get it through the thick skull of yours that I don’t want bloodshed. Neither yours people nor mine.” I don’t know what to say, she was one more second away from breakdown and really it hurts me to know it was because of me. she took several deep breaths before finally gathering herself.

This time when she opens her eyes, they were devoid of emotions, they were cold and… lifeless. Her mind was resolved and her eyes determined.  

“Either you take your pack with you out of my boundaries now or.” She stopped mid-sentence. How could she say that? After all of this we suffered, we shared. She was now threating me to leave her? My mate?

“Or?” I asked challengingly. She looked up and her eyes were filled with the strong conviction.

“Or I will never come back with you to your pack.” She said and I swear my heart stopped beating, the ear deafening silence filled the forest, my insides boiled with so much rage I could burn the whole ground with me. I balled my fists and tried to control my anger.

My chest hurts as if someone punched me on my heart or stabbed me by something sharp. This was worse, because I could still feel it twisting around my heart.

How could she say it like it was nothing? I will never come back to your pack? my pack? it’s our pack, dammit. Or maybe I deserve it. this is how it feels like to get rejected.

There was a storm brewing inside me, enough to consume everyone. With all the hurt and anger, I looked straight in her eyes.

“Okay Alpha.” I snarled and with that I quickly turned to my heels and left her there only and didn’t look back.

The sound of someone’s knocking on my door brings me back to the reality. I turned to look and sighed.

“What is it Asher?” I asked without looking back again to acknowledge him. I could feel his racing heart beats and his short and labored breaths. He was disturbed and maybe scared or maybe a bit of both.

I drink whatever the maid served me in the glass on the name of wine. It tasted like dead meat. I drink it anyways. Nothing was bitter than what she told me.

“Okay, take your time, I walked towards the balcony and sat on the chair. The moon was peeking through the clouds. For some sick reason, I couldn’t look in the direction of it as well. I fear moon goddess would be sitting on her throne, laughing at me with her sardonic smile.  

Asher walked slowly till he was few feet apart from me.

“Alpha?” He said and almost hesitated.

I gulped the remaining left in one go and threw the glass on the wall. The glass breaks into thousand pieces resonating with my broken heart.

As if in cue, two maids ran in my room horribly, their gaze soon find the glass and they walked in its direction hurriedly to clean the mess.

“No need.” I ordered dismissingly. They stood there and I raised my eye chillingly. They bowed and soon left us alone.

“Bring another bottle.” I ordered just when they closed the door behind them. I sighed. A maid soon returned with the chilled bottle and left with the same pace.

Asher keep looking everywhere but me. I gestured him to sit beside me.

“What are the reports?” I asked finally handing him one glass which he took willingly much to my surprise.

“Everything is fine, normal.” He said and looked lost in thoughts. “Too normal to believe that everything is fine.” He said talking to himself and there it was the same fear and distress in his voice.

I finished my glass and refill it almost immediately. “Then?”

“I don’t know, something felt off alpha.” He said looking outside. He was right. Since, we left the blue moon pack, the attacks on my people suddenly stopped. Although I know my pack was cloaked with the Diana’s spells. Our pack changed positions with the positions of the moon, in every fifteen days, Diana changes our current location so that Oracle won’t find us.

It is a very powerful spell and require much energy but for some strange reason, Diana performed it successfully and that to with my blood. You cannot avoid blood shed Esma.  

“Tomorrow is full moon, have you contacted Diana yet?” I filled his glass and he didn’t refuse this time as well. strange. Asher never drinks too much, not with me.

“I have, she will be here by morning.” He said and gulped the whole drink in one go.

I filled his glass again, Asher was the only one I could trust now, even though I know he didn’t like me much earlier, now I have gained his trust along with the trust of my people. I like sitting with him. Him and I, we were same, two pieces drawn from the same cloth.

“What about the one warrior we send to check on them?” I asked. even though Esma had cut all her connections with me, I couldn’t. I ordered my pack to quickly left her territory but left one warrior to check on them. Also, he had found his mate in their pack. That way no one will get suspicious.

“He is fine and according to him; everything is fine there alpha. I don’t know, it all felt off. Like someone is conspiring against us. Playing a much bigger game than all of us.” He said and I feared, he was right. This only cleared my doubts.

There was someone who was trying to get me away from Esma and succeeded.

“I should go and check the borders now.” He said before bowing and started walking towards the door.

“Asher?” he turned back. “Take some rest. Go home. I will assign someone or go for patrolling myself.” I said and he nodded unwillingly.

I checked the bottle to find it already half-empty. First things first.