Chapter V: Runaway

My heart was pounding as I approached the coffee shop.

This was our dream—Pat and I. Open a café, cater different types of people that would want to enjoy the smell of coffee in a cozy place where they could work, talk, and have fun.

Sinalubong ako ni Cristine, “whoa! Hindi ka late, himala ‘yon!” I rolled my eyes at her, “Nandiyan na si Patricia?” She nodded, pointing to the office’s door.

I breathed in. Breathed out. I kept doing it until I had the courage to open the door. Patricia’s working with lots of paper in her desk, “Pat.” She looked up at me and smiled, “hey.” She seemed a bit off, I wonder if she has an idea of what I’m about to do. I sat in front of her and handed her the resignation letter. 

It’s funny tho. Letters are not really necessary, I just wanna be formal with her.

“You, sure? We’ve talked about this a lot of times! And then what, you’re gonna leave this place? And then…” She lost it, crying hard, smudging the papers. “Gosh! Today you are cutting your wrist, and then the next day… I don’t know what to think of anymore.”

Well, that is really it is. This is so much for her and I couldn’t bear to see her like this, dealing with me, trying to make me feel better. Which I cannot do.

This is for her.

“You wouldn't have to deal with me, my shitty mind and attitude Pat. This is all for good. We’ve dreamed of this place together, but that was us when we were in college. A lot of things differ from now. I am different.”

They say you aren’t the person you were five years ago, a year ago, months ago, or days ago. In my case, I believe that. Everything’s changed, I’ve changed. I’ve got all the dreamy stuff when we were in college but now they are gone. As if I am a place destined for something, but there are factors that change it all, taking away all your plans, shifting the road you must have taken.

“But...We’re good. Diba?” I nodded, nonchalantly.

Best decisions really hurt you, doing the right thing may cause you severe pain. Yet you have no choice. I don’t want to be selfish and continue to bring Patricia into my mess. A year was too much for her to take.

“You do not have to leave. Stay in the café, you can handle this ‘di ba? I will just come at least once every three months if you are bothered by me. I arranged all the papers for the deliveries, everything is settled.”

I shook my head. “I already have work, I am committed to it already. My boss is nice, he said I could start working after settling things here.” It came off my mouth unexpectedly, nice lies. I did not wait for her response, tumalikod na agad ako at umalis. I left the café, this time not going back. I should cut off everything from my past, and that includes Pat, the Café, and this City.

The landlady is smiling at me, probably because of the fact that the three months advanced payments were hers due to some agreements, and here I am walking in the hallway with all of my belongings. It’s not that many though, just a backpack, small handbag, and a suitcase.

It took me three hours to arrive at Belle City.

The feeling was exciting yet I find it hard to believe that I was moving to another City for a new life only to think about how to die. I got off the bus, nowhere to go, wandering around to see if there is an available place or room to rent to stay for tonight. A group of drinking men across the street set their eyes on me, which I find creepy.

I walked straight ahead, showing a blank stare which means, “I don’t care.” As I passed the group, one of them stood up. The guy is so thin as a toothpick, he looks like a hanger with his shirt. His eyes were all over me, examining my whole self. “Bago ka dito ano?” I stopped, kilala niya siguro lahat ng tao dito kaya ganoon ang reaksiyon niya. “Yes.” It is possible tho, Belle City isn’t that big, but for a man to know every person in this City he must be someone with connections or a person in politics.

“Sabi na eh! Bagong salta!” All of them laughed, “may matutuluyan ka na ba?” The skinny man said sabay akbay sa akin. Umiling ako, that’s true. I came here with only the thought of running away, trying to make money for my daily expenses, and die. Nothing more. Really stupid of me. Reckless actions. Actions which I wish would bring me to my death.

“Du’n sa paupahan mo na ‘yan dalhin!”

“Oh! My! My! Money!” Weird chants by the weird people. What a weird City is this.

“You don’t have to be afraid of us ms.” A small, thin guy told me with a grin. He looks like a child, minus the old face.

From drinking they are now walking with me, accompanying me to Lolo’s Place. Well it is actually an inn owned by the skinny man who first approached me – Harold. He owned a lot of inns in this City and his usual spot were bus stations so that he and his men could enjoy drinking and accommodate new people to stay at the inn. Nice marketing strategy but they give me the goons vibes – those who would ambush you on the road.

The inn is just a ten minutes walk from the bus station. It is surprisingly nice and well built.

“Iwan ka na namin dito Elle, kausapin mo na lang si Violet. Siya ‘yung mag-aasikaso sa’yo.

Everything went fast, Violet told me about the payment, my room, and all the offers they have. I agreed to stay for a week, and since they have a promo I would only pay for eight thousand pesos which includes breakfast meals.

Violet assisted me to my room. It was quite big enough for me. I settled in and arranged my belongings. I am uncertain what will happen tomorrow, but who else is sure? Even though you depicted what you want to await on you, on your way to it there will always be a force that might change what you have seen.

Now I have to restart my life again, in this new place.

First thing I needed to do was to find a job. I spent the remaining hour of the day walking around to find a new job. I found out that the bus station is a part of Gaston town, next to it is here — Lumiere Town.

This place is a breath of fresh air, just full of strange looking people, simple communities with a really Rural vibe places. Trees, grasses, and hills everywhere. So far this is all I could say to the three towns I've been to which are Lumiere, Gaston, and Maurice. Bumalik ako sa inn nang walang nahahanap na maaaring pagtrabahuhan.

Medyo maingay nang makapasok ako sa loob, mukhang nagkakasiyahan sila at nagkakantahan. Nakaupo sila pa-ikot sa common area, halos lahat ay kumakanta at sumasabay sa nag-iisang lalaking tumutog ng gitara. Halos manliit ang mata ko nang makita si Chris. I did not mind him tho, I made my way straight to my room as if I didn’t see him. 

Next day I planned to go to LeFou, Chip, and Beast. Violet told me that these towns were like Urban communities and had a lot of opportunities there.

Hindi ko na mabilang kung naka-ilang ikot ako mula sa una kong puwesto kanina. Hindi ako makatulog. I decided to just go up and breathe a fresh air outside. I slowly sneaked out, since most of the people were asleep.

I successfully got out. I was at the back of the inn, near the entrance of Enchanted Forest. Violet told me that is what they are calling to that place. 

Almost all the lights were off at the house. It's serene here, the only noise was the nature. The view was refreshing and calming, there were lots of fireflies hovering around.

I closed my eyes and felt the grass as I sat down.

“I guess I came at the wrong place and at the wrong time again."

Panira.

Lagi.

Hindi ko na nga siya pinansin kanina, akalain mong magkikita na naman kami.

Napapikit ako sa inis. Hindi ko ulit siya pinansin.

I get out to have a breath of fresh air yet all I've got was this.

I did not mind him. I stayed my eyes closed and felt him sitting beside me.

“I throw off the rope." He muttered, as I was about to leave him. I thought of getting some cash inside to pay him for the rent, the Smirnoffs and donuts.

Ngayon ko lang naisip, bakit kailangan ko pa siyang bayaran? I am not in that apartment already, so the money he used was actually useless for me. The food and drinks, he was the one who insisted to pay for them.

“I throw off the rope at your small window in the bathroom." He confessed. His mouth opened again as if I didn't hear him.

“You’re going to hang yourself that day." It is not a question. He's certain.