Chapter VI: Stalker

I can still remember the first time Pat saw all the marks and wounds at my wrists. All those subsided and fresh wounds all over my arms and wrists, I wonder what her reaction would be if she’ll look closely at my waists and legs. Or if she knew those three suicide attempts.  Hindi ko na din maalala kung naka-ilang payo na din ba siya sa’kin na pumunta sa therapist, even booked me one dahil sa hindi ko siya sinusunod. Therapists would just talk to me, probably make me plant, take care of pets, write, paint, and so on that they usually advise. At alam kong hindi iyon ang kailangan ko.

I feel like tearing up. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero naiiyak ako. I was sure about dying that day! But he intervenes.

Hindi ako nagsalita, wala naman akong sasabihin. If I would just blame him again, it would be nonsense. What’s done is done. Like, this is not the first time that my death was postponed.

Ha! Postponed my ass.

“It was just a hunch at first, I’ve confirmed it at the bridge.” He stopped, “when you told me about death.” It was stupid that I let those words slip off my mouth.

Now I am sure that it isn’t always nice to share things with a stranger, you’ll never know when you are going to meet them again. Or when are they gonna bug you.

“Why are you even here?!” Singhal ko sa kanya. This is weird. Simula nang papasukin ko siya sa apartment ko ay sunod-sunod na ang nagging pagkikita naming, laging sa maling oras at pagkakataon. Para bang sinasadya niya lagi.

He laid down beside me. “I am hiding.” He told me about the people looking for him, yet he did not say why. Kinumpirma naman niya sa’kin na wala siyang atraso sa mga taong iyon, ayaw nga lang niya sabihin sa’kin kung bakit siya hinahanap ng mga iyon. Next time na lang daw niya sasabihin sa’kin.

 Feeling mysterious.

“I thought you’re going to answer all of my questions?” I rolled my eyes. Self-proclaimed man of his words now eating his own promises. He put his hand on his head, as if it was a pillow. “Yes, I said that. Sasagutin ko naman talaga lahat ng tanong mo, but one at a time lang.”

I laid down as well. We stayed there for a few more minutes. He did not bring up the topic about the rope and me wanting to die again. And so, I did not bring up the topic about him, being a man of his words.

Natatakpan ang langit ng mga sanga ng puno, nanatili siyang nakatitig sa kalangitan na para bang nakikita niya ang mga buwan at bituin. Kahit hindi naman. I heard him sighed and after a few minutes, he got up and told me to get inside, dahil masyado ng mahamog at malalim ang gabi.

He’s right. I should sleep and get some rest. For the first time since I encountered him, I did not argue or question him, I just followed. “You play the guitar very well.” I said as we got inside. So, he is really staying in this inn, eh?

I woke up earlier than I expected. It’s good tho, dahil kailangan kong maghanap ng trabaho. My first destination is LeFou. It isn't that hard to go there. 

LeFou looks almost the same as the grand City of Cinderella. There are lots of busy people walking around, towering buildings, fast food chains, motor and car shops, malls. 

Hindi ko alam kung ilang establishments na ba ang pinasukan ko pero lahat ng mga ito ay not hiring.

Okay, this is not easy.

I decided to take a rest at the park I found beside the enormous church. 

I sighed.

The weather is nice, gentle winds touching my skin and slowly making my hair dance, the sun is covered by the clouds.

There are people like me who are staying here to get some rest. Love birds sitting on the bermuda grasses, enjoying their romances. A few families having a get-together.

Family. 

I miss home so much but I can't go back anymore.

A hand holding a bottle of water appeared in front of me. "Water?" I don't have to look at his face to know who he is.

"A penny for your thoughts?" He sat down beside me. Since I am thirsty, I accepted the bottle of water. I drink it up, straight. And then gave him the plastic bottle. "Woah. Hindi ko alam na tatanggapin mo, sana hindi ka laway conscious." He laughed.

I was confused for a second, and then it hit me! Uminom na siya sa water bottle na 'yon. "Eww!" I acted as if I was vomiting. 

He sat beside me and looked at the people around, "you are drowning with your thoughts. Ayan tuloy we had our first indirect kiss or… is it?”

I rolled my eyes,"why are you here?" 

Why is it that wherever I am, he is always there. Lagi na lang siyang bigla-biglang sumusulpot sa kung saan-saan. 

"You're not my stalker, aren't you?" He laughed.

"Oh. No. I am more than that." He looked at me with a serious face, madadala na sana ako sa sinabi niya pero kumindat siya bigla at tumayo. 

"You seem tired. Gusto mong sumabay sa'kin pabalik sa inn? You can look for a job again, tomorrow."  Hindi ko siya pinansin. Nanatili akong naka-upo at hinihintay siyang umalis. 

I am slowly getting suspicious of him.  "What do you mean by saying you're more than just a stalker? You're not going to do anything that would harm me, do you? And how did you know that I am looking for a job?" 

I stood up and walked slowly towards him.

"If you're not just a stalker, then who are you? Tell me, are you going to abduct me? Kasi sinasabi ko una pa lang, if you want to kill me, do it. It'll be my pleasure!"  He's just standing in front of me, not moving even an inch.

"What? Cat got off your tongue?" He did not say anything. I am looking him in the eye, pinanliliitan ko siya ng mata.

He suddenly grabbed my hands and ran towards his car. His grip is not that tight, just enough for him to drag me. "Stupid. Bakit naman kita papatayin? Tinapon ko nga 'yung lubid sa banyo mo para pigilan kang mag-bigti." He said while we are running stupidly. 

We reached his car, he was still laughing. "You're crazy." He said as if he is not the one who is laughing crazily right now. 

Pumasok ako sa kotse niya at sinadyang lakasan ang pagsarado ng pinto. Maya-maya lang ay pumasok na din siya sa loob. "Violet told me that you are looking for a job." 

He started the car. 

Medyo okay din naman ako na sumabay na lang sa kanya, naka-tipid pa ako sa pamasahe. "Then what are you doing here at LeFou?" He turned on the radio. 

"I bought something."

I nodded and stayed quiet. Rivermaya's Elisi is currently playing and he's singing along. 

"You play guitar well and you can sing. Nice." 

He smiled, "I believe that's a compliment." I shrugged and sang along in my head. 

I can sense that Chris is a really nice person, medyo mahilig nga lang makialam. But all in all, he's nice and a charming type of man. 

As far as I know, LeFou is just an hour drive from Lumiere. Yet an hour has passed but I can't see any signs that we are getting near Lolo's place. It's getting dark, the sun is setting, the color of warm yellow and vibrant orange all mixed up above the sky. The road we are now taking isn't familiar with me. 

"Chris? Saan tayo pupunta?"