Mag-log inFor a moment, I feel that crushing guilt all over again. I don’t deserve her. I know that. But God, I love her. The song ends to roaring applause, but I barely hear it. Anxiety suddenly claws back into my chest, heavy and sharp. I turn away quickly and head back toward the pit. Focus. I need to focu
The stadium lights burn bright against the darkening evening sky, throwing silver across the packed dirt track and turning the haze of kicked-up dust into glowing clouds. The air smells of gasoline, hot rubber, sweat, and rain-soaked earth. To me, it smells like home. My chest tightens as I stand
My dad hugs me next just as tightly. “You’ve worked harder than anyone I know.” I laugh shakily against his shoulder. “I think I’m running purely on caffeine at this point.” “That sounds about right,” Chase calls from nearby. I immediately laugh as my brother pulls me into another hug. “You surviv
By Friday afternoon, I am fairly certain I have survived what could only be described as hell week. The past several days have blurred together into one endless cycle of stress and exhaustion. Exam after exam. Meeting after meeting. File after file. Paper after paper. Every morning starts before sun
I straighten my shoulders and steady my breathing just as the exam papers are handed out across the room. The second the instructor announces we could begin, something inside me shifts completely. Focus. Pure focus. My pencil moves across the paper almost instantly. Question after question flows fro
Sunlight filters softly through the curtains the next morning, casting a warm golden streak across the bed. I start to stir slowly beneath the blankets, still wrapped in the lingering comfort of sleep. For a few moments, I stay curled up on my side, eyes closed, listening to the quiet hum of the apa
Getting wheeled back into the gallery where Jen left me, I keep looking at all the paintings, waiting for her to return. My eyes kept wandering to the painting I have just secretly purchased for the woman who is taking care of me and whom I still love deeply. When I get a bit longer of a chance, I n
“What do you think of it?” Jen asks me. I can only ever be honest with her, so I tell her my honest opinion.“It’s breathtaking. There’s something about this painting that reminds me of you. I don’t quite know what it is, but it’s there. The colors and the contrasts are just captivating. I can see w
“I will drive you to all your appointments as long as they don’t interfere with my classes or my job. If they do, you will need to make other arrangements. You will have your own room, and we would obviously need to let each other know about the shower. Other than that, I’m sure we will get along qu
GregFuck me. She is so beautiful when she’s pissed off. She turns and just stares at me, leaving us in a tensed, awkward silence so thick I don’t even think a knife could get through it. I try to make the first move and smooth things over with her because a pissed off Jen can be an intolerable Jen







