Sheep's Clothing

"I never wanted a savior, I never wanted a white knight to sweep me off my feet to carry me away from my troubles. I only wanted to be loved."

Tears streamed down my eyes as I continue reading Hannah's letter, I wanted to die that moment I felt as if I don't deserve to be alive. I'm angry that I cannot avenge Hannah because my bastard father is dead! He did not deserve that peaceful death, he deserved a lifetime of agony. He loved me, I know, he was a good father to me but Hannah? He was a monster! He was evil underneath that sheep's clothing.

"How can I help you, Hannah?"I said aloud, lost in my thoughts. I'm so torn on how I will continue to face my family having this burden of knowing everything. It will destroy us. The company he has built, the love of all the people around us. When he died everyone was in mourning. We lost a good man, that's what everyone thought, but I know Hannah more than anyone and I know she will never lie to me. But why? Why just now? When everything's lost and she is gone. 

I lay there in my bed with a heavy heart not knowing how to go on or what to do with what I know now.

"Hannah, please tell me what do you want?"

The ground is cold. I feel so cold. Wasn't death supposed to be comforting? I always thought it will be a warm blanket of relief, of freedom but why do I feel so much hatred. So much sorrow and most of all, why I'm I still here? I can see Matthew lying down and crying. I think I broke him but there is so much darkness in my heart. I know I'm dead, but I never felt so much power up until now. When I was alive I always felt weak and helpless. I get drunk, I do drugs and I feel free for a bit but afterward, when everything wears off, I am but an empty shell of my former self. Whatever that means. I can't remember who I am before I was the girl in a white bloodied dress swimming in my own scarlet blood. 

I was all over the news. I was a heroine, a lost poor soul. I was famous! Suddenly everybody took notice of me. I was seen. I was real. I was human. This made me feel so powerful. With my mind, I can will things to go my way. I controlled Matthew to pick up that magazine and read my letter. I was able to touch him and made him aware I'm here. I entered his dream and I talked to him. What other things can I do? I smile, that devious smile, I'm excited to have all this power. Why didn't I think of this earlier? I could have tormented dad and made his remaining life a living hell. But he is dead. I wonder if I can see him again? I don't know yet. Being dead is new to me and it excites me. Am I evil? I don't know. All I know is when I died I did not see the glowing light that they describe in the movies and books, I only saw darkness. I don't know for how long, but when I woke up, I was on my bed. But I couldn't feel it. There is no time when you are dead. I did not meet any angels, I did not see the gates of heaven. I lie there awakened after all the darkness. I felt I was drowning and I gasped for air and I woke up. Still here on earth and still dead.

I can do so many things now. All the grim thoughts passing through my head when I was alive, I can do now. He may be dead but all the people that continued to support him and love him despite all the red flags are still alive. The people who let him do things to me, the people who let him destroy me are here. I laughed. My laugh was echoing in my head it was loud, it was angry, it was void of happiness, it was surreal.

On top of my head, I have the list of people I want to torment. I'll bring hell to them right here on earth. First on my list is my mother, my lovely mom. So beautiful, full of class and life. She was always the center of attraction. She was the envy of all her socialite friends, the most glorified slut in her circle. She must have known. I know she knows and she let it happen! She let me suffer, she never even showed me any form of affection, she was never a mother to me. When I needed someone to protect me from all the evils in this world, she was out and about getting drunk. Showing up at charity parties, donating sums of money to abused children, and yet she continues and chooses to put a blind eye to my sufferings. My mother. 

Yet, I want to save her for last, first, I still have a list of people to torment, and now that I have Matthew on my side. I'm unstoppable. I have letters, more than what Mathew has seen. I have planned this well. I thought that after my death the scandal is enough to break them but no, this is better. If I have to spend my eternity trapped here I'll take it. I'll also take all these people to hell with me. 

First Matthew, then Devon my supposed boyfriend, Cassidy my so-called best friend, Garret my real father, and then Lucy my beautiful mother.

You'll be surprised what I have in store for all of you.

I looked at my hands and on my left hand are the scars of my demise, slowly I see it open up again, the jagged edges of my skin is fresh, my flesh showing as blood ooze out of my wound. It flowed to my arms and dripped on my white nightgown and onto the floor. But I feel no pain. I feel powerful and nobody can stop me.