CHAPTER 1

Ever since the day when I started to realized things around me, I always have this feeling of wanting more but I just couldn't have it.

My friends said that I am a dreamer, a high dreamer and I don't get mad about it because it's true. I want everything in my life to get better. I want to at least experience wealth and happiness.

I close my eyes as I started to feel the fresh air from the balcony of my friend's rest house.

''Come on Caroline, you don't have to pressure yourself. Even if you didn’t pass the exam you can still find nice jobs in Manila.'' Zoe uttered while drinking her usual tea in the morning

I rolled my eyes and started to lift all my bags.

''Zoe, you know that your words couldn't stop me anymore. Just freaking enjoy your stay here and I really need to take that interview already.'' I answered, already prepared to go.

Two days ago when my friends and I came here. It's Zoe's treat because it's their rest house and everyone is enjoying here including our three other friends Marie, Chanel, and Kaye. However, as a very unlucky woman from our group, I didn't pass the Licensure examination so I don’t have a reason to celebrate here.

My friends are ready for their lives. They are all having the right path and plans while here I am still doubting everything if I can survive.

I heaved a sigh and face Zoe again.

"I need to go now. I should not miss that interview, Zo. You know that I badly need a job." I uttered again and tap her shoulder.

She stared at me with concern and a little disappointment from her eyes.

We are supposed to enjoy this moment because they just passed their Licensure examination for teachers and I am the only one who failed and it's almost two weeks before I forced myself to moved and accept it.

I know Zoe understands me. I know that she is also aware how hard and painful it is for me.

That is why I really need a job so that I can start saving money again and take another examination. It will cost money again if I wanted to make sure that I can pass it next time.

They started saying goodbye to me and I also told them that they should not worry because I am doing this to satisfy myself. I don't want myself to get stuck here and do nothing to restart my doomed life.

Last week I received a lot of painful words from my Uncle and even if I don't want to, I need to go back there in the house and tell him that it's not too late yet. Of course, that's my coping mechanism. I always find ways to feel better. I don't want to stay at the feeling of being a failure.

I drove the old car of my Uncle Mario that I still kept using because I don't have a choice. My friends told me to buy a new one but of course they can say it easily coz they have money and wealth.

I grew up in a broken family. My mother left me when Dad cheated on her. They all have their own family and here I am trying to figure out everything about my life, besides I don’t care anymore. I got used to it.

I can only see few vehicles in the road since Zoe's family's rest house is in the province.

The road was so peaceful. The trees are screaming how healthy their ecosystem here. The different kinds of trees side by side of the road tempting me to stop and take photos of them. They are too beautiful in my eyes that it made me think that life can be a paradise sometimes but that is not what I have right now, all I am currently facing are a disaster and problems.

I sigh and continue driving while thinking all the possibilities that might happen after I apply to this famous company.

They said that it is so hard to get accepted by them since they have high standards and aside from being so known in the country because of the good quality products they have, they also give good offers to their employees.

It will be beneficial to me in case the company accepts me.

Just like what I am expecting, minutes, hours and days passed so fast that it will always make us realize how we really need to strive harder in this life.

I am sitting in a couch rom their lobby while waiting to be interview by the manager of the company. I can’t see any other applicants so I am kind of wondering why. But still I am so determined this day and I already created this pattern to take. I need to have some plans and this is it, I am slowly fulfilling it right now so no matter what happens, failures and challenges won’t stop me anymore.

The employees inside the building keep glancing on me every time they are passing in the hallway. After a few minutes of sitting there, a petite yet very formal woman told me to enter the Manager’s room. I was a bit nervous but it immediately faded when I saw the nice aura of a guy sitting in a swivel chair.

‘’So you graduated with the course Education, huh?’’ The manager asked me and just like what I should do, I smiled to him and proudly presented myself with confidence and elegance.

‘’Yes Sir-‘’

‘’Okay, you are hired.’’ The manager stated as he also stood up and about to leave the room like it will be boring if he stayed there more and talk to me.

I was a bit insulted about what he did so I tried to follow him from walking while bringing the envelope with all my credentials.

‘’But wait Sir-‘’

‘’Follow me and I will guide you to Marie so that she can teach you what to do.’’ The manager cut me off again for the second time and it annoys me even more.

‘’But Sir, aren’t you going to interview me more and talk about all my credentials if I am really qualified to this job?’’ I asked confusedly while still following him wherever he is going right now.

‘’What do you mean? You are hired so no need to worry anymore. We will fire you if you are not qualified so better do your best while working.’’ He added and I can’t find any words to say anymore because I know I should be grateful now for getting hired so quickly.

As a very competitive woman with super high standards in life, I hate losing, I hate it when people are not choosing me for not being too good, it’s hurting my ego. But now that this company accepted me without hesitation is giving me confusion. Did they accept me because I am too good or just because they don’t have any option?

‘’Sir, you should check all the backgrounds of your employees so why did you accepted me so quickly-‘’

‘’You know what Miss Caroline, I don’t know if you want this job. You should be grateful because we already accepted you and you applied for a position so what’s with your complains, huh?’’

I closed my eyes tightly because he is right. What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you Caroline?

‘’What’s happening here, Kevs?’’

I am too busy thinking some reasons in my mind when suddenly someone who has a very husky and deep voice interrupted the conversation between me and the manager.

A tall man entered the room where the manager and I are talking. I glance at the guy and I am ready to lash out and explain myself to him.

The guy is wearing a sky blue long sleeve polo that has been folded until his elbow. He locked his gazes to me reason why I stared to him too. Foreign features is evident from his eyes, I am sure that he is not a pure Filipino. His eyes are blue and his pouty lips are screaming hotness with expensiveness on his look.

I am still staring at the guy when the manager suddenly grabbed my arm gently and pull closer to him.

‘’Miss Caroline, it will be better if you cooperate now.’’ The manager whispered and smiled to the guy in front of us.

‘’Nothing Sir, Miss Caroline was having confusion and I will explain it to her now. She is a newly hired employee so she still needs guidance.’’ The manager uttered and I don’t have a choice but to let a heavy sigh and agree to what he is saying. I am also afraid that I will cause trouble just because of my annoying ego.

‘’That’s nice Kevs. I don’t like stubborn employees here so better manage them well.’’  The man uttered with so much coldness in his voice like this is a super tiring scenario to him.

‘’Excuse me Sir, I am not stubborn. I am just asking to the manager for accepting me in the company too quickly. It’s not that I am not qualified, it’s just I am a bit insulted.’’ I muttered with so much annoyance in my voice.

‘’Mr. Arthur there is nothing to worry, I will fix it-‘’

‘’No, let this woman state her confusions, Kevs.’’ The said Mr. Arthur cut the manager off and I don’t know what is his position here why the manager kept calling him Sir. Maybe he has a higher position so I need to be careful with my words as well.

The guy’s brows furrowed while staring at me. He looks confused too as I realized that maybe I am causing too much trouble already.

I should be grateful for getting hired and stop fussing.

I sigh and tried to poke the inside of my cheeks using my tongue to stop myself from talking again.

I need to remember that I need this job so bad. If I will lose this I don’t know where to go any more.

I need to have a descent and a good job. It will be the death of me seeing all my colleagues having their desired profession while I am just wasting my time in moving on from failing that freaking exam.

I also don’t want to hear disappointments from my Uncle again. I can’t stand experiencing those possibilities so it will be better if I am already finding ways as early as I could.

‘’Well, it’s not that important. I’m sorry Sir. It’s just a misunderstanding.’’ I answered but it only drawn confusion to the man’s face again because of my sudden reply.

He stared at me for a few seconds and shrugged before he glanced to the manager.

‘’If that’s the case then I will go now, I still have meetings to attend to. Kevs, don’t forget to send me the email.’’ He said as he left us there.

I was a bit nervous when suddenly Mr. Kevin, the manager, aggressively pulled my arm close to him.

‘’What’s wrong with you, you freaked me out! You don’t know how Mr. Arthur gets mad. Anyways, are you really willing for this job coz I think you are just giving me headaches.’’ He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes as I looked at him with my apologetic eyes.

‘’I’m sorry for that Mr. Kevs. It’s just I am a bit shocked because I got accepted right away. This company is super famous because of different brands. I am just overwhelmed.’’ I uttered hesitantly, just trying to put sugar coated words so that he won’t get annoyed to me anymore.

I should not complain anymore.

‘’Well, that’s good so that Mr. Arthur won’t get mad to us. He is a very busy man and gets stress easily.’’ He shook his head and started walking again.

I followed him and looked at him with intriguing eyes.

‘’I wonder what’s his position here in AZER company. Is he a super visor or something?’’ I ask out of my curiosity.

‘’Supervisor? What are you saying, he is the owner of AZER company.’’  Mr. Kevs uttered that made my jaw drop in disbelief.

I covered my mouth and I can’t belief what I heard.

What the actual fuck o fuck is that? I almost had an argument with the owner of this famous company?

You are an Idiot, Caroline!

AZER company were famous because of different clothing brands they have. Aside from it's good quality they always hire good models to represent their products.

I was assigned as a sourcing manager together with Mr. Kevs. I will be his assistant and since he is an active advocate of LGBT, he keeps showing me some fashion weird designs yet super fashionable that he desires to present to everyone one day. I smiled because just like me, he has higher dreams too.

''You know what Caroline, you should be patient here inside the company because for sure we will be facing different and a lot of issues in the future. Mr. Arthur David is kind of a very stressful man so we need to bear with him as well.'' Mr. Kevs handed a lot of envelope to me so I immediately lifted it with all my strenght.

I bite my lip when I remember how I showed our boss, the owner of AZER company a very bossy personality. I just hope that he is really a busy man and our path won't cross again here in this very big building. I'm afraid that I gave him a bad impression and he will fire me the moment he saw me again.

Mr. Kevs keep on talking while I am just behind following him.

''I heard that you are a Mathematics major and also studied economics before, right? You really suits to be my assistant sourcing manager. I will be gone later tonight so you will be my substitute.'' He smiled to me widely as he poked my cheeks.

Mr. Kevs seems like on his thirties already. He is wearing a thick glasses yet act very feminine, but still I find him smart. I like gays with class and pretty good mindset. I am also kind of calm now after hearing that he did read my credentials after accepting me, I am just over reacting that time.

''Since I already explained all the things you need to do and I also gave you a book to study, there will be no problem anymore since this week is also just a training for you.'' He added but still I am a little confused.

''So there will be a meeting later, Mr. Kevs?'' I asked because I am afraid that I will be with the other big people in the company including Mr. David.

''Uhm no, you will just study how to ensure the transparency of spending inside the comapany. It's actually pretty understable. Just open the computer on your assigned table.'' He explained to me and I sigh because of relief.

''Okay, no problem Mr. Kevs. I will do it well.'' I smiled and he nodded.

''That's good. I will go now. By the way, I forgot to tell you that after studying the files that I gave you, you need to total all the table there, print it and give it to Mr. David in the 10th floor, bye.''

My eyes widened as my heart beats fast because of nervousness. I will going to give it to Mr. Arthur David? The heck, I am so nervous.

Mr. Kevin left me there and I was confused about what to do because of the nervousness. I'm also embarrassed because of my attitude yesterday because instead of being happy because I was hired by their company quickly I still kept whining.

Now, face it Caroline!