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29 // Cast Out
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Love Bites 30 // Too Soon
I couldn't sleep, I kept turning and tossing, and it was as though I was sleeping on a bed made from rock. I was pacing up and down my room like a commander awaiting news from his superiors. I didn't where to touch or what to do, I couldn't even sit for longer than a minute. I felt really weird, at some point I even thought it was number two and went to the toilet several times, but nothing happened. It wasn't until 2a.m. when the first contraction hit, and I pursed my lips to prevent the scream that threatened to burst out. I recalled my wet clothes from earlier, and it finally occurred to me that my water may have broke during that prayer session. I sat at the edge of the bed, my head ringing like a church bell. "This can't be happening." I shook my head, breathing heavily. I was barely at six months, it was too early fir me to go into labour. I got up and unlocked my door for the first time since I arrived, making my way to m
Love Bites 31 // Severed
My baby was hooked to all sorts of machines, and he looked so small and vulnerable, it made my heart bleed. I couldn’t hold him or smell him, I could only see him from afar. He was currently in the neonatal intensive care unit, and we had to wear hospital gowns, gloves, and masks in order to enter the NICU, it felt as though we were handling our child like he was some sort of a virus. I lost count to how many machines he was connected to, I desperately wanted to touch him through the holes on the incubator, and I so wished I could take his place. “I failed him.” “Don’t say that,” Silas said in a heavy voice. I shook my head. "But it's true. I should have taken better care of myself, I should have prioritised myself and my son instead of worrying over irrelevant things. I should have paid more attention to my body when he tried communicating with me.” I recalled all the times I was in pain and chose ignored it instead of calling the doctor or taking the necessary steps and res
Love Bites 32 // At Loss
The thought of Silas and what he did made my windpipes close every time, I was struggling to understand his reckless and selfish actions. Why would he sentence himself to death without even considering our son for a second? Was the idea of spending his life with me so horrifying that he would rather choose death instead? It would have been much better if my mother was also to blame this time, but she was innocent. He did this to himself, he did this to me. Seeing that note only infuriated me, and I deleted it. I didn’t want to know whatever story he cooked up to justify his selfishness and stupidity. I exited the app and proceeded to dial my sister, hoping a conversation with her would somehow ease my nerves, but I was gutted when it sent me straight to voicemail without ringing. Perhaps it was a network problem because of load shedding, that happened more frequently these days. I thought in an attempt to reassure myself, but my
Love Bites 33 // Chameleon
My aunt left two instructions regarding her funeral while she was still alive: mainly, for her funeral not to be prolonged, and to celebrate her life. She requested to be buried the very next day after her actual death, and for a feast to be held in celebration of her life. Perhaps for the community she spent her entire life serving, it was a merry event. But that was not the case for the rest of us, my mother masked her grief with chatter, jokes, and laughter, and slipped quite a few times and called for my aunt. She was deep in denial, and more than anything, she was drowning in guilt because she dedicated her entire life to pushing away her only sister. As for me, my entire world turned gray. The world was colourless and lifeless, everything in me had died. I was also plagued by the guilt of the way I treated her the last time I saw her. Although she had said returning to my parents was for my own sake, I couldn't help the feeling that she had abandoned me. Now that I thought
Love Bites 34 // Prisoners
Crying in the back of an Uber was definitely not how I had envisioned the rest of my day to be. I hated Karabo for this. I hated her for questioning my love for Sy and also making me doubt my father. All my life, my father was my hero. Even though he was rarely present in our lives, the fact that he did not actively participate in my mother's shenanigans and never went out of his way to tear me down made me worship him. His silence was often comforting because I believed he remained quiet because he did not agree with what my mother was doing. The day he saved me from my mother's marriage scheme, he became someone I thought I could count on to always have my back and be there for me everyday. But the day he learnt of Silas' identity left me feeling like I did not know my father at all. When he arrested Silas, he broke my heart more than anyone has ever done. And now, he was also hurting my mother. He had not bothered to check on her after we received the news on my aunt, nor had
Love Bites 35 // Whirlwind
Things could not be more awkward. I think we had both underestimated this moment. So much had changed in such a short span of time, leaving us both uncertain about where we stood. I felt like a complete stranger in my own aunt's home, the couch felt as though it was laden with bricks, it was so uncomfortable. My chest was so tight, I swore it was going to rupture. I tried to act normal, but I couldn't stop my sweaty fingers from gripping the edge of the couch while I continuously tapped my foot on the tiled floor. Sy joined me in the sitting room after locking the doors and sat next to me on the couch, leaving space between us. But that still did not stop me from shifting farther away from him even though there was no space on my other side. "If I knew things were going to be like this... I wish we could go back to the first day we met and just lay everything on the table." The thickness and roughness of his voice spoke to every part of me, it filled my chest with warmth, and
Love Bites 36 // Whatever It Takes
My heart was literally beating in my throat, and my ears were as loud as a siren. “Yvonne!” My head whipped in the direction of the yard where my mother was rushing out to meet me. She was yet to realise that my father was out here. It would be difficult to convince him to leave once he noticed how jumpy we both were, if he insisted on going inside, he would become suspicious. Sy had nowhere to hide, especially in broad daylight in the buzzing township. I threw myself at him and hugged him tightly, and I was shocked at how easily my tears fell these days. “Papa!” I wailed. Warning bells went off in my head when he went stiff, and I was puzzled by how his heartbeat was faint and yet so erratic. It took a minute for him to finally wrap his arms around me, and there was hesitance in his actions. “Angel, what’s going on?” He asked, and I took this opportunity to reel him in. I pulled back and stared into his eyes in ears. “Papa, pease get me out of here! Please.” “What? What’s g
Love Bites 37 // Surrender
Watching Sy swiftly and smoothly taking charge of my aunt's kitchen brought back so many great memories, and nostalgia. I even lost my trail of thought and forgot why I'd come here in the first place. By the time I came back to my senses, almost two hours had passed. "Uhm... I should get going," I said in a haste and climbed down the chair. "What... but why? Aren't you going to stay for dinner?" He asked with urgency, silently begging me with his eyes. "I–" "Please stay for dinner, I'm almost done cooking. Besides, I'm not gonna finish all this food on my own." I clamped my mouth shut and quietly took my seat, and it wasn't long before dinner was ready, and we set up the table together and shared a meal while reminiscing over the past. It was so refreshing talking to him in peace. "I'm surprised you can still stand some of these foods after the way you ate them during your pregnancy." "Well, to be honest with you, I'm kinda still in my pregnancy era. It still feels weird,
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