****
Within two weeks, I relapsed and now I am back in the hospital. Doing chemotherapy and having a therapist come to deal with my anxiety. I know for a fact that if I am not careful this period I would end up with an anxiety disorder. Alyssa would certainly not want that for me. I can see it clearly in my head, if Alyssa was alive and something like this is happening, she would have hit me at the back of my head and order me to get my shit cleaned up. That is my girlfriend for you.... That was my girlfriend for you. I still can't believe that she is gone. It is too unsettling to discover that she is not by my side or that she didn't go to get something and that is to reason for her not being able to be with me physically. I cannot believe it that she is gone, sure I know that she is gone but my mind can't wrap around the fact that I will never see her face smiling or pouting or giving me that look that is sp
This is the end of our story, our love story. The one that started with the letter I wrote for her, the one that started a year ago but burned as fiercely as a raging inferno. An inferno that was put out too quickly. An inferno that died the day Alyssa died. Now she is being laid to rest but as she is being buried so is my heart. I have finally conquered my anxiety attacks. I no longer feel anything. I am now cold and unfeeling. It scares my family. I can see it in their eyes when they look at me and share a worried look between themselves, I can see it when my siblings try to cheer me up, they don't do what annoy me any longer, the pranks have died with Alyssa. Sometimes I wish we never started dating if that means that she would still be alive.Then I would slap myself and stop assigning blames or 'would haves' because it never change anything. Alyssa is still gone and I cherish every moment we spent together. Every kissed we shared, every look th
Micah povI can still remembered the day I met Alyssa, in my parents restaurant celebrating her birthday, holding court at the head of the table while her parents snaps pictures of her. Right then, I knew that we were from two different worlds, hers was all glittery and shiny and mine was all normal and mundane. That didn't stop the connection that happened between us, it couldn't hold it, even from different class in life, fate, that annoying bitch did everything to make us meet. Maybe you would not agree with me but of all types of food she could crave for, she chose that day to crave for Mexican, for all restaurants, she could have chosen to host her birthday breakfast, she chose mine and even with all that, I was in a corner watching the rich kids have fun while I cleaned a table, her favorite present so far * she had about hundreds to still open* happened to fall and roll in m
Micah pov.Today was a weird day. Sure, it started like any other day, I wake up to the shouts and screams of my siblings, Celine and Matthew who are 14 and 13 respectively but they act as if they are in their pre-teens instead of teenage years. I am sure that my parents must be feeling glad. They would take those two acting childish any day rather than doing drugs and if you ask me I think I would keep quiet so that my answer will not incriminate me but between two of us. I would prefer the drugs at least I can sleep in then. After standing up, I hold on to my head board as the dizzy feeling swept past me, even that is turning into a normal routine. It has been happening for about three months now and I know I should go for checkup but I have been busy and didn't have time to. Anyway, as always I took a shower and wash my hair. I wash my hair twice weekly and although Alyssa will wrinkle her cute nose about that fac
Alyssa pov.I know for certain that I have been a positive girl all my life. I know I was a little spoilt when I was younger *okay maybe a lot spoilt* and I know that my world was at my fingertips. I know all these things because my parents always ensure that I have the best of everything I ever wanted. So what if it made me a little spoilt or can't I be a positive girl when there is no real reason for me not to be one and don't get me started on my world I was queen and I ruled it and now I don't. As simple as that, it is was horrible to learn that I was living in a fairytale and now I have been jolted and taken to the real world. My life feels like it is not mine to live any more. I feel like stumping my feet and saying I want to go back to my life but that is just going to be me throwing a tantrum and in the real life. People who throw tantrums are not taken seriously and are ignored. Why did my life take this ugly turn? I
Alyssa pov. Micah did come, at the same time he always came to my house in the morning then we would spend the whole day in my house doing whatever we do to past time but be in each other company. Today was his turn to choose what we should do. Yesterday it was mine and I made him give me a manicure and pedicure and he begged me that when he finally have a girlfriend that I should not tell her that he is a pro at girls stuff because he does not ever want to do that again. I reminded him that next week he has to do it again and he grumbled but agreed saying that it is just me and that he wants to keep it that way. He do not want the number of girls to increase to two so he made me promise and I agreed. Now it is his turn I am sure that he would make me do something completely embarrassing, he always does after my manicure and pedicure day. It is not as if I cannot afford to get it done at a proper
Micah povI can't believe that about Alyssa parents even if I saw her father acting broken, I refused to believe it. It just isn't possible. They were one of the forever couples I knew about. One of the only two. My parents being the other. I know that anything can happen even a tragedy as big as this but come on. This is Alyssa life we are talking about, her world. Everything has to be perfect and under her control. It isn't possible any other way. Any way whatever happens, I am here for her, I will always be here for her. To the best of my capabilities. She is too sad for my liking, I hate to see tears in her eyes, and I hate to see sadness in there. I have to remove her mind from what is going on around her. And I told her just that. Hey remove your mind from that okay. Where would I put my mind instead? She asked with her hands folded acr
Alyssa pov.I wish that Micah could spend the whole day with me but he can't he has to go pick up his sister and brother from their friends place where his mother dropped them off four hours earlier when they finally got on her last nerves. I certainly don't want to go back to that house, not anytime soon and even if I go, I don't think I want to be sober when I do it. Then again I have never drank to the point of inebriated before so I might as well get that experience before I move to college. That reminds me. I have to ask Micah if he has made his choice on colleges yet. I know that he might not be able to get in an Ivy League college but because of his athletic championships he has been winning since he was twelve, he has a wide range of schools to choose from. He needs to make his choice and I need to tell my parents my own choice. I guess it is just parent now since my father is the only one aro
Alyssa pov Where to, Miss." the cab man asked me when my sobs reduced. Far away from this place. As far away as possible. I replied through my tears. What about the park close to town council hall. " he asks quietly. I know that right now he is talking softly because he recognized what is going on. He saw the bastard on his side view mirror and he knows from my tears that I was the girlfriend.Yes please. I answered in a low tone.My life is turning into a typical cliché story. What is remaining is that I fall in love with either my best friend, Jake best friend or the school bad boy then we get married and live happily ever after. The end. I can't deal with this. I just cannot. This day is too horrible for me. It has just been too horrible. Wait... did Micah know about this, is that why he wa
This is the end of our story, our love story. The one that started with the letter I wrote for her, the one that started a year ago but burned as fiercely as a raging inferno. An inferno that was put out too quickly. An inferno that died the day Alyssa died. Now she is being laid to rest but as she is being buried so is my heart. I have finally conquered my anxiety attacks. I no longer feel anything. I am now cold and unfeeling. It scares my family. I can see it in their eyes when they look at me and share a worried look between themselves, I can see it when my siblings try to cheer me up, they don't do what annoy me any longer, the pranks have died with Alyssa. Sometimes I wish we never started dating if that means that she would still be alive.Then I would slap myself and stop assigning blames or 'would haves' because it never change anything. Alyssa is still gone and I cherish every moment we spent together. Every kissed we shared, every look th
**** Within two weeks, I relapsed and now I am back in the hospital. Doing chemotherapy and having a therapist come to deal with my anxiety. I know for a fact that if I am not careful this period I would end up with an anxiety disorder. Alyssa would certainly not want that for me. I can see it clearly in my head, if Alyssa was alive and something like this is happening, she would have hit me at the back of my head and order me to get my shit cleaned up. That is my girlfriend for you.... That was my girlfriend for you. I still can't believe that she is gone. It is too unsettling to discover that she is not by my side or that she didn't go to get something and that is to reason for her not being able to be with me physically. I cannot believe it that she is gone, sure I know that she is gone but my mind can't wrap around the fact that I will never see her face smiling or pouting or giving me that look that is sp
Micah pov. Even before the doctor came out with the news that Alyssa was gone. I knew that she was gone. I now know what the sharp pain meant. It meant that my soul mate was dead. I have been numb ever since I entered the car, I came out and did everything my family did but my mind was blank... The doctor came out and her parents rushed to him but he just removed his mask and shook his head. My sweet bratty princess was gone and it was confirmed, that was when the first sob teared out of my throat and I held on tight to my mother, I felt people surrounding me but I could not pay attention to them. I am without my soul mate, my best friend. How would I survive? This is all her mother fault, normally I try not to point fingers and assign blame but I have to this time. It is all her fault, if she had let Alyssa do whatever she wants, we wouldn't even be in this town now. If she had not forced Alyssa to be her maid o
Micah povWill you grow up man? I asked my brother as I hit him with the back of my hand. I am only thirteen, so no, not yet. Mike replied annoying the hell out of me. What did I do to deserve this, right from the moment he was born he has done nothing except annoy me. Mike, stop. Alyssa call put him in a good mood let's hope that the good mood last for a little while. Don't make it evaporate so quickly. Celine said as Mike and dad chuckled at her statement. What is this? Gang up and tease elder brother day? I asked not amused. No, that was yesterday. Mike replied. That is why we annoyed the hell out of you. Celine added. You mean like how you are doing right now and how you also did last two days. I pointed out. You are right. Annoying e
Micah povWeeks laterPreparing for Alyssa parents marriage is taking a toll out of me, well out of Alyssa, which affect our relationship and in turn, affect me. Sometimes I wish I could kidnap her and hide her away from her mother who has turned into brideizza. I don't get the deal, you have being married to this man for eighteen years only to divorce him saying that you no longer feel sparks or whatever silly excuse she gave eleven months ago only to come back three months later and plead with him that she made a mistake and that she still wants to be in his life then get remarried in less than a year of being apart. Too crazy, she didn't apologize to Alyssa and although she was welcomed by her husband... Ex-husband and soon to be husband again and also my parents, Alyssa and I never did welcome her back. Alyssa was hurt by her leaving and Al never forgive someone who hurt her ea
Micah povI was getting ready to take my car to the mechanic to see if there was anything that could be done to salvage the situation when my mother called me from down stairs saying I had a visitor, I groaned as grabbed a tee shirt and quickly out it on as I hurried down the stairs with my keys in my back pocket only for me to stop at the last step when I saw who it was.Alyssa, someone whom I was clearly not expecting to see. I was even tempted to not believe my eyes because I was certain that Alyssa would never apologize for what happened, the highest I was expecting her to do is to concede to the fact that maybe she was not right with her actions and even then, it would be done grudgingly. Alyssa was not the kind of person to apologize and that was why I was finding it hard to believe.Then my siblings started their snickers in the background, the tv they were watching was long forgotten as they turned to face us.
Alyssa Pov,How did me and Micah go from a candlelight dinner to fighting? I have no idea but what I do have an idea of is that he is irrational and my feelings are rightly justified.And what I am also sure of is that he might not want me again.Yes, I might sound dramatic but it is the truth, Micah cares very much about his car, I think me and his mother are the only ones who are allowed to seat in the front seat and I just keyed his car.I know, I wasnt really thinking. I just got upset because he was not relenting, it was just me saying goodbye to Jake.Jake was going away to college, and based on what happened at his party, I did not really talk to him and although he got on Micah nerves, it did not change the fact that although Jake sting my pride by sleeping with Tiffany but I broke his heart when I broke up with him just to be with Micah.
Alyssa povHello honey, it has been long since we talked. Tiffany stated trying to hug me with a false smile which I certainly did not believe.She had ambushed me on my way to get drinks for me and Micah because since we arrived at the party together, we have been inseparable and have been sitting on the couch together, not making out but certainly more touchy feely than usual, I think it is finally getting into their heads that we are a couple.I have been happy at that and feeling high and staring into the face of Tiffany, that high is slowly being expired and I was not in the mood to feign happiness at seeing her.What do you want? I asked but instead of my tone to come out as hostile, it came out as defensive.I frowned at my words and I was not the only one who caught up on the defensiveness that was in my tone because Tiffany jumped on it by crowding my space.
Micah povApparently, kissing in front of your friends and those who you went to high school with is not enough to convince people anymore that you are in a relationship with your best friend.Granted, it was me and Alyssas fault for always coming up with crazy schemes and being too close outside. It was annoying enough to Jake wanted Alyssa but it was nothing compare to the girls who me and Alyssa went to school with as they all, all of a sudden wanted to hang out with me. Alyssa was not a happy camper at the attention which they paid to me.You know that you look cute when you pout. I teased Alyssa to get her mind off the fact that we were invited to go for a party tomorrow and in Jake home nevertheless.You know, you ought not to annoy me especially since I am in a bad mood. Alyssa retorted as I sighed.I let go of the trash bag in my hand as we were in the process of cleaning the la