Upon learning what happened, they came straight from school, and they come at me all at once in Seb's spacious living room. Simon, the gentlest of us all, immediately wrapped me in a hug. I feel warm and protected for a bit and it makes me smile.
That is until Brad, dramatic as ever, wraps me and Simon from behind while he cries, "I'm so sorry for not coming here sooner. You'll be okay, right? Please tell me you'll be okay."
Brad's wailing makes Simon struggle, but he can't let go either, because Kier had joined the hug, followed by Cal, who seems disgusted at the thought but did it anyway. Seb is the only one who doesn't join the task of suffocating me, which I appreciate. But he doesn't make any attempts to stop it either. The jerk.
"Okay...okay, guys! Enough...I can't...I can't breathe." I say, giving them a pained smile. Besides, I don't deserve it.
Three years. I haven't seen my mother for that long. But even as her death becomes more real every minute, I can't bring myself to grieve. I just feel...nohing.
"What happened to her?" Kier asks softly.
"It was late-stage breast cancer." Lucien's voice comes from outside the door. He acknowledges the boys with a serious nod before turning to me, "Ari, I'm guessing Sebastian's already told you the news. I'm so sorry for your loss. May I talk with you privately?"
I blink my eyes at him, nodding.
"Come with us, too, Sebastian," Lucien added, glancing at his son.
I look at Seb, his face is still unreadable. But when I meet his eyes, he nods at me reassuringly. And that is all I needed. Silently, we follow Lucien to his study together, our friends wisely refraining from any noise as they take in the gravity of the situation.
***
"Ari. You know you can tell me anything, right? Just because I'm no longer your stepfather, it doesn't mean that I don't care for you anymore. I made a promise to be there for you no matter what, remember? I plan on keeping that, Ari. But you need to be honest with me first." Lucien says as soon as we arrive in the room. "I still don't know why you left your Mom and her new husband in California."
My breath caught at the question and I tear at my nails with my hands, considering my next words. "I thought we talked about this," I tell him, feigning a smile, "Mom and I just thought it best that I move back here since I'm more comfortable here anyway. But she of course couldn't leave her life there just for me. So I left."
None of my words convinced him, I'm sure of it. Why would they? My mother is dead. And I haven't shed a single tear about it yet. Something has changed between us before I left, and it's obvious to everyone.
For a second, I expect Lucien to probe further, and I ready myself. But he nods instead, sighing, "Very well. I guess none of that is any of my business. I guess I should just be glad she at least trusted me with you, even if...well...even when our divorce was ugly."
Seb clears his throat, and I feel like doing the same. To say that our parents' divorce was ugly is an understatement. But that isn't what struck me from what he said.
"You talked to Mom?!" I exclaimed accusingly, the panic rising in my throat. "Why would you do that? She...she didn't tell you anything, did she?"
Lucien raises his eyebrows, "Tell me what exactly, Ari?"
I stop, realizing my mistake.
"That's enough, Dad," I start at the sound of Seb's voice. I almost forget he's beside me, still uncharacteristically quiet since the day started. "You promised you wouldn't interrogate her."
"Not interrogation, son. I'm merely asking a question."
"A question that doesn't matter anymore. Ari's mother is dead. We should be comforting her, not asking her what went wrong between the two of them. It's none of our business anyway." Seb said.
"Nothing went wrong--" I start to say, but since I am meeting Seb's eyes this time, I falter. I can't press on any further. He knows me too much. If I open my mouth now, everything will spill out.
"Sebastian's right. I apologize, Ari," Lucien is saying, "I didn't ask to talk so I can interrogate you about your Mom."
He walks toward me, planting his wide hands on both of my shoulders. I remember being intimidated by his height when I was a kid. Not much has changed now. But there is warmth in his brown eyes. They were warm back then, too, and I lived for those days when I used to call him 'father'.
"Listen, dearest, I know that the brief moment we had together as a family wasn't...the happiest. But I did love your mother, and I came to love you, too. I still do. I really want to keep that promise, if you'll let me."
"I love you, too," I tell Lucien without hesitation, "But if you're talking about adopting me officially this time, I'm sorry but I can't allow it. I won't be your charity case."
Lucien sighs, "But where will you go? I talked to your Mom, Ari. She said you took nothing with you when you left. No money, no clothes. You didn't even say goodbye."
"I still have money left to pay for the dorms for the rest of senior year. The food is free there, so I won't have to spend money on that, too. And you know I can find a job right after graduation." I explain fast.
"What about college? You want to go to college." Seb says quietly.
I hesitate. As usual, he knows exactly what to say. And sometimes, I hate him for it.
I open my mouth to respond, but Seb cuts me off. He walks closer to me, holding my eyes hostage. "Marry me, instead. And go to college. You can write as much as you want or do whatever it is you want to do. That won't be a charity. You would be my wife, living life as you please."
"Marrying someone he doesn't love? Didn't he learn anything from me? Please tell me you're not going to let him." Kier says as he angrily plays with his food. I don't blame him. Nobody likes the hospital cafeteria's food. It's Day 3 of Lucien's ICU stay and all of us had been taking turns in watching him, and Seb, as he refuses to go home at the moment. I sigh, feeling a twinge in my heart at Seb's words to me last night. I open my mouth to reply respond to Kier, ready to defend Seb's decision eventhough it broke me. But a voice over me interrupts. "That's exactly what I told him," I try not to show my surprise. It's Sara. Brad told me that she visited Lucien yesterday, but he didn't say anything about Sara visiting again today. Kier's eyebrows rise up as Sara seats herself at our table without invitation, continuing her speech, "His brain is supposed to be genius-level but can he seriously not get out of this one without compromising his future?" Sara huffs, taking a fry from
Lucien is in critical condition, and I am at a loss on how I can console Seb at the moment. He wouldn't leave his Dad's side, so I am left taking care of things at the house. To put my mind away from what's happening, I decided to clean Lucien's office before I'm set to leave for the again hospital myself. Dave has offered to drive me and he says he's now pulling in the driveway.I'm halfway into emptying the last drawer when I found a letter. Well, not quite a letter but a well-drafted contract by Seb about how Lucien shouldn't adopt me. It's dated around the time that I came back here from California. There, Seb also explained how he wished for me to be his wife. I begin to tear up. He even said he would be a doctor just so he could marry me. The contract was signed.But now, the company's in trouble and Lucien is suffering. This promise that Seb is willing to put out to be with me, how is he ever going to fulfill this? How can I ask for him to go through
Making love after a fight is the best. The way Seb is moving right now is enough to melt me. I was wrong, he was actually meeting Dave and the others when I ambushed him in front of his bedroom door. But after we made up, he immediately changed his plans."Ow," he winces as I accidentally scratch his backside."Sorry," I whisper against his mouth, pushing him further into me.He smiles and continues thrusting into my core, and I moan, feeling the heat builds up inside me."I'm close," I murmur on his neck, biting just beneath his Adam's apple."Yes, give it to me, baby," he coaxes and it isn't long until I'm helpless in his arms. A few seconds after I stop shuddering at the sensation he gave me, his movements become even faster as he seeks his own release.I nip at his ear, encouraging him with my words.Seb then grunts, pushing inside of me one last
I get off the phone with my lawyer in California. My flight to Cali is tomorrow and I can't be more nervous. I wonder how Olive is doing now. I haven't talked to her since our ugly confrontation at the cemetery. I guess she should be at least doing fine, as Brit is there with her. "Ari, can I talk to you?" an unfamiliar voice takes my attention. I whip around to see Sara beside me, gesturing for me to follow her to an empty classroom on our right. I frown. I've been trying to get thoughts of Seb away from my mind, which is hard enough with the two of us living in the same house. And seeing her seems to be equivalent to seeing Seb these days. "Sure," I say anyway, not wanting to start anything with her. As much as it pains me to think that Seb might have chosen her over me. It's not in my character to give a girl grief about it. Seb, however, I can be mad at. "I think you got it all wrong," Sara says as soon as we are out of earshot of our peers. I blink at her, "I'm sorry, wh
I guess I will forever be a coward. Seb is out tonight, possibly with Sara and I still can't confront him about it. Instead, I invited Dina over to get drunk. I don't tell her what's wrong, even she doesn't know about me and Seb. But she could clearly tell that I am hiding something."Something is bothering you," Dina remarks, narrowing her eyes at me as I down another glass. "You're usually not this heavy of a drinker."I laugh nervously, "What are you talking about? I just wanted a girls' night, Dina. We haven't had one of these since..." I trail off. The last time we drank was with Olive and Brit, and we had a great time, too."I think...what we can do now is to move on," Dina says, guessing correctly what I was thinking, "I want to think positively and say that everything's going to be alright between us and them, but...I don't think we can go back to what we were before."I open my mouth to reply, but there is a knock on my door, "A
"That weekend, in California. I finally visited Mom's grave." Seb's finger stops tracing circles on my thighs. He grips my waist, settling himself on my chest, not saying a word. "I thought I would break down again, but strangely enough, I felt calm." I smile as I recount, "Maybe because I got to talk to Olive before I came to her." "You were probably thinking that everything would be okay." Seb says, smiling at me. I smile back and gave him a peck. His lips are stained red, courtesy of the gloss from my lipstick. His hair a mess and there are scratch marks on his chest. I expect them, of course, we had a pretty intense night. A blush creeps up my face, even as I chuckle at the thought. This. The contentment that I feel with him makes my heart swell. I can stay in this moment forever. "What's funny? Huh? What's funny?" Seb asks, positioning to tickle the sensitive spot in the dip between my waist and hip. I squirm, screeching. "Shhh...Lucien might hear you." I clamp down my m