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24. Dying to Kiss You
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Loving Jude 25. Cold
“You did what?” Simon’s disbelieving voice comes across the phone.I groan and turn onto my stomach, burying my face into the pillow. “I know, it was a bad idea. Can one beer affect someone’s reasoning?”“You drank beer?” Simon’s already disbelieving voice goes a tone higher.“Can it?”“I don’t know about you, since I’ve never seen you drink one,” he replies, the jab in his voice obvious, “but for normal people, no.”“Ugh.” I turn onto my side again. I guess I can’t use that as an excuse.“How did you end up kissing him, anyway? When Trey and I left, you were all sad about Eli.”“He tempted me by saying it didn’t have to mean anything,” I say, as if Jude is to blame for my decision-making.“You’re calling me at half-past six on a Saturday morning, so I guess it meant something to you.”“It doesn’t,” I claim hastily. “I agreed with him, and I still do. I’m just not sure how to face him. Should I act as if nothing happened?”“Can you?”No, I keep replaying our kiss and I doubt I'd be ab
Loving Jude 26. Sick of Thinking
Eli doesn’t show up for training. I had expected that he’d be back by today, but he’s not. He wouldn’t miss practice without a good reason. Whenever he goes back home, he gets back on Sunday evening so he can be on time for Monday morning training.When training begins, the coach announces that he has taken an off for personal reasons.Did something happen at home?My first instinct is to call him, but I remember our relationship isn’t what it used to be. I’m not sure I can just call him out of nowhere as if everything is the same as before.While his absence makes me worried, it’s also a relief. I’d still not figured out how to handle being in such close quarters with both him and Jude after what happened. I had mentally prepared for a lot of awkwardness, but it appears that I’ve been spared that.It’s just as well, especially after what happened on Friday night.Jude tries to get my attention a few times, but I avoid him well enough.I’m not even sure what’s going on anymore.Did I
Loving Jude 27. Bestie
“Nice seeing you, bestie. It’s not too late to come back •~•”I shift in my seat uncomfortably, cast a quick glance at Jude to make sure his full attention is on the road—it’s after practice and we are in his car, headed to the place he wants me to see—then look back down at my phone.I’m on Instagram, scrolling through his latest posts.The above comment is on his latest post, a picture which must have been taken sometime on Sunday. There’s him, standing between two girls—fellow models—with his hands wrapped around their waists.I click on the username beside the comment. It takes me to a profile of one of the girls in the picture. She has about half a million followers, and her wall is full of glamorous photos. Her name is Abby, she looks about 5’9, and her natural hair is long and curly, the ringlets falling to the middle of her back.I go back to her comment and check the replies.“You two look good together”“Bestie yeah right”“When are we getting a photoshoot with you two?”At
Loving Jude 28. Steamy
When Jude told me, a few minutes ago, that there was something I needed to see, I didn’t for a second think it could be this.When you’re a student on an unpaid internship and surviving on limited funds from the folks, living in an apartment with a rooftop swimming pool just doesn’t cross your mind.“You don’t look happy,” he says, scrutinizing my face. “I remember you loved swimming. Even if you didn’t quite know how to.”He remembers that?“You didn’t think this was worth mentioning?” I huff and cross my hands over my chest. “For the last time. How. Much.”“You just need to pay however much you were paying at your last apartment.”“There’s no way they cost the same. We didn’t have a rooftop swimming pool, and it was an old building. Not a sparkling new one in what appears to be a prime residential area.”“I’ll pay a larger percentage.”I shake my head instantly. “No way.” The last time I allowed someone more autonomy on a lease, she kicked me out at her own pleasure. He has already
Loving Jude 29. I'm Sorry
“But how come you had sex on a beach and never went skinny dipping? Didn’t you need to wash off the sand and all that?” Simon asks.“You can have sex on a beach and not get all sandy,” Isaac contributes. “Like if you’re standing against a—”“Your turn,” Jude cuts him off.This game was supposed to be fun, not awkward, right?“Okay,” Isaac says. “Never have I ever been on a blind date.”Simon’s the only one who takes a drink, after which he points at me accusingly. “It was a dare.”“Don’t act as if you didn’t enjoy it,” I tell him. “You kept her around for quite a few months.”He shrugs. “Well, she was hot. And we were into each other.”“Her more than you,” I point out.Her name was Amber, and she was quite a nice girl. She liked Simon and would have dated him but the moment he realised she was hoping for more, he ran. I wasn’t surprised, though.“Your turn, Walker,” Simon says, refusing to engage me on that.Jude holds his hand out. “Give me the phone.”Simon passes it, then bumps his
Loving Jude 30. End of a Chapter
“Don’t you think you should have told me you have never been to his house before allowing me to drive four hours to a town neither of us has ever been to?”We are at a gas station in Eli’s hometown. Jude is leaning against his car, giving me a thinly veiled glare as I type on my phone.“I thought Tori would reply to my message before we arrived,” I defend myself. “I guess she’s still mad at me.”He scoffs. “You think?”“I’ve texted Eli.”“You mean the guy who has been ignoring your calls and texts?”“I’ve told him I’m in his town. He won’t ignore that one.”“I suppose your stalking skills aren’t as good as I thought.”“Nope, not good enough to find someone’s address, get into their house, and into their bed.”“I regret telling you that story.”My phone rings in my hand, and I look to see it’s Eli calling. “It’s him,” I tell Jude before answering. “Eli?” I call into the phone.“Are you serious?” His voice is normal. Normal as in not crying or distressed.“Yes,” I reply. “I’m at…” I ste
Loving Jude 31. Bad Idea
“Why are you here?” Jude gives me a glance before looking back to the front. It’s about eight o’clock in the evening, and we’re stuck in traffic. We are only about twenty minutes away from our place, but with the crazy traffic, it could very well be a couple of hours before we make it back. It doesn’t help that it’s raining. “What?” “That night I told you I would date Eli anyway, you said there wasn’t any space for me to fill in your life anymore. So, besides wanting closure, why are you here?” His head turns towards me again. “Why are you suddenly asking about that?” “We have to talk about it sometime, no?” His attention goes back to the road as the cars in front of us begin moving. He rests one arm on the wheel as he drives forward, his other hand resting on his thigh. “Do you know why you were my obsession?” he asks. Well, I have a textbook idea, and that cannot compare to a personal explanation, can it? I shake my head. “No.” “You were my escape,” he says, his eyes still
Loving Jude 32. It's Complicated
You'd think that since we live together and basically work together for four hours every day, avoiding Jude would be hard. Well, I seem to have earned a doctorate in that category. I'm doing such a good job at it, I've gone two days without having to face him. By 'face him' I don't mean running into him. I've ran into him enough times. What with him waiting to ambush me outside the bathroom, at the elevator, and at the sports complex. Each time, I've managed to get away without much trouble. And that's without having to face him and addressing the reason as to why I'm avoiding him. I'm hoping that by now, he has given up. I want us to go back to a life where Sunday night never happened. A life where it isn't obvious I'm avoiding him. A life where I can sit calmly at the table and eat my breakfast in peace without calculating how to get out of the apartment before he leaves the bathroom. It's Wednesday, and I've just gotten back from the school. It's about six o'clock. I haven't see
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