The boy I should not love

Leo I take a deep breath and stretch my arms over my head. My eyes feel heavy and all the sleep I have been avoiding is coming over me. I haven’t slept in three days; I had to work three nights in a row. And now I have test week. The toll of three back to back 10 hour shifts after a full day of school and then another 8 hours taking care of my siblings is all taking a toll on me. I yawn out loud and the people in the library look at me weird. I whisper sorry and go back to looking through my notes. I shake my head trying to wake myself up. I really need to get some rest. I look up and Golden is standing in front of me. She looks at me and then at the people behind us. My heart starts racing, I take a deep breath and quickly look back at my notes. I hate that she has that effect on me, but come to think of it she has that effect on every guy in this whole school. She’s beautiful and popular. So she’s way out of my league but my heart doesn’t know that does it? She places her bag o

I get home around 1 am in the morning. I walk to the babysitter's apartment. I know she’s asleep and she probably doesn’t mind keeping Mina and Jon over night but I would rather have them wake up with me than have to go get them from the babysitter in the morning. I knock at her door and wait. I knock again after a moment and I hear her walk to the door. She opens it and looks at me sleepily. “Hi Sophia sorry for waking you up” I say when she finally looks like she has her eyes focused on me. “No, don’t apologize. Come in” she says and lets me in. I get into her apartment and head to the bedroom I know the kids are sleeping. I get Jon out of bed first and then Sophia gets Mina for me. I thank her and head to our apartment with both of them in my arms. They’re so heavy but I’m too tired to make two trips to go get them. I use the last bit of strength I have to get them to bed. I quickly get all of us in bed, in the dark. I don’t want to turn on the lights or even think about taking

Sundays are my self-care/ self love days. That means no boyfriends, no commitments and most definitely no best friends. It is a day all about me, for me; I take the day to do what I want to do.  I do what makes me happy.That can be anything from taking a long nap, to getting my nails done or going people watching in the park.Today I am going on a solo picnic date. I have my grilled chicken and ham sandwiches packed, in my basket. I also have a nice fruit bowl situation going on. And to drink I have my mother’s famous pink lemonade, all I need is a nice strawberry shake for desert. I love strawberry shakes, I’m not too picky about where I get it, as long as it’s the flavor I like.I am driving to the nearest McDonald’s in my area. The picnic spot I want to go to is 44 minutes from Pretoria. And I don’t want to waste time driving around Pretoria. I am going to Bronkhorspruit Dam for my solo date, I’m so excited. It’

Golden “What was that all about?” Amara asks, me when I walk back to them. “Nothing” I say hoping she’ll let it go. “That didn’t look like nothing” She says looking at Leo and his friends. She has this disgusted look on her face. She always makes that face when she feels someone is beneath her as if she has the authority that decides who is worthy. It’s been like this since eighth grade. She would pick on the less fortunate kids because she was born rich. The older we get the older her attitude gets. Or am I getting old? I’m realizing I have less tolerance for her nasty side with each passing day. “This is about me and I say it’s nothing. Will you let it go please.” I say looking at her straight in the her eyes so she knows I’m serious. “Well, I’m just looking out for you. I don’t think Cole would like it if he saw you talking to boys like that.” She says pointing to Zach. I feel myself getting angry all over again why should Cole decide who I talk to? He’s not my keeper. “Let

Golden I’m sitting with Cole and his friends at a park; we’re just lying around doing nothing really. Everyone is listening to one of Cole’s stories. He’s the center of attention, where he likes to be. Everyone is so engrossed in whatever he’s saying not really contributing anything. I have nothing against him being in the center, it’s just that it’s gotten so old. This is all we do, sit and listen. I tune out thinking about where I really want to be. It’s been about a month since I spent time with Leo and his crew. I wish we could hang out with his siblings and Zach again. Mina and Jon are barely old enough to spell their names but they have more fun than this lot. There really is magic in being a child, maybe that’s why I’m drawn to Zach. He has this fun free spirited, child like quality about him. He doesn’t mind being dumb. Why do I want to spend time with Leo? He seems so mature. I like he doesn’t feel the need to speak just because. He’s comfortable with silence; we live in