7 Crush

Sarah

The afternoon sun emits its last rays, but we barely catch any between the area’s skyscrapers. Brit’s arm is still looped over my own as we walk, balancing our work- and gym bags in the sea of people rushing to catch the next subway or train.

“So, tell me, how did it go?” Brit implores me ending our silent walk to the gym.

“I don’t know. I’m still processing.” I sigh heavily as I wipe my face with a hand. She has no idea where I'm from, what secrets I have to keep, has to hide to protect others.

“Ok, then tell me who he is," her voice jumps an octave at the end of that sentence as she inclines her head towards me. 

“Arrr. Why is he here?” I let out a growl in frustration.

“Maybe if you’d talk to me, I could help figure that out.” She stops in front of me, blocking my way on the pavement.

“Ok, ok. So, we grew up in the same town. I lived there till I was fourteen," I tell her the truth, keeping it as simple as possible. "He is five years older than me, and we never hang out together or anything like that. He was a popular boy, and I was just a little girl watching him every day.”

“Ooooh,” she squeals, “He was your first crush, wasn’t he?”

“Yes, he was,” I utter in defeat. It’s hard to say it out loud because it makes it real, and I’m scared of this being my reality again.

Now that she has her answer, we keep on walking. It is only two blocks from work. We don’t waste our time traveling around.

“So, what did you talk about? You seemed to be in a deep conversation.”

“Mostly about things that have happened since I left the town. His studies, his job, and my life. I don’t know. He was the same, but so different at the same time.” My mind struggles to cope with this situation. I want to tell my friend everything. I mean everything, everything. But I can’t, and I’m scared that if I start talking, I might slip. That is the main reason why I never talk about my childhood in Black River. “Well, he is freaking hot if you ask me. I’m sure that’s not new.” she wiggles her eyebrows at me suggestively.

“No, that’s not new.” Thinking about him makes my face turn up with a blushing grin.

He is hot, no question. When I was 14, I thought he was cute, and his smile made me smile. The thought of him still warms my heart, but now my body reacts to him in a way I never experienced before.

I’ve had many flings, boyfriends, and casual sex partners, but none turned me on with a smile and a mischievous flick of their eyes. None of them shut down my brain with a gaze.

“Ohh girl, you have it bad for him.” she laughs at me, seeing my burning face.

“Yeah. I’m in big trouble. He wants to have dinner tomorrow.” I squint, waiting for her reply.

“I hope you said yes to that.”

“I did.” I cringe at the thought of how excited I am by this. “Maybe it’s a bad idea. I’m already regretting all of it.”

“Don’t. Just live in the moment. He is hot and seems nice. You’ll have a great time.”

Maybe Brit has a point. Even if it turns out to be nothing, I can enjoy our time together.

We step into the heated building, and the tequila and beer hit my head right away, with the realization that Nate could break my heart without knowing what he was doing.

I drink a whole bottle of water to clear my head, but leading a krav maga workout for 20 people when I’m tipsy is not easy.

I even giggled once, especially when my mind went to Nate every five minutes. It was embarrassing.

“Practice was great again,” one of my students says.

“I’m glad you had a great time.”

I’ve spent years trying to forget most things, like my grade school years amongst werewolf kids. However, Nate’s presence seems to open the lid of carefully sealed memories that now flood out without selection.

Like everyone else in the pack, I attended training from a young age. I was doing excellent, as one of the strongest and quickest in the group.

One of my adoptive mums, Amy, trained the youngest pups from age 8. I worked very hard: doing every push-up the way she taught us and running every lap as fast as I could in order to become better and stronger every year.

Until my 12th birthday.

We waited for my first shift and my wolf throughout winter, but she never came.

Everyone was devastated, but I felt relieved. We didn’t understand why I was wolfless. We thought maybe we didn’t know my age correctly, and I was only 11.

I arrived at Black River when I was six. I have a few faint memories of my parents and other wolves living in a small pack. We seemed happy and content. These are more feelings than actual memories. One day a man threatened my parents. I didn’t understand what was going on, and while my dad went to fight him, my mum helped me get out and told me to run.

So, I ran.

As far as I could as quickly as I could.

I ran through forests and fields for days before smelling werewolf scents. I knew instantly that I had entered a pack’s territory.

By then, I was too exhausted to run away. I just wanted to sleep somewhere safe and hoped they might help me.

It didn’t take more than a few minutes for the guards to show up and surround me. They told me to wait while their Alpha showed up. I was too exhausted to be scared. They put me in a house for a few days before deciding I could stay.

I felt fortunate when two women took me in and adopted me later. They raised me with their other adopted girl, Avery, and I was mostly happy with them.

Other kids in the pack thought I was a rogue. Some of them called me different names because, according to them, I was not a pack member but a filthy rogue who smelled disgusting.

I remember Lissa saying disgustedly that everyone would see my red eyes and that the Alpha would kick me out when my wolf arrived.

When I thought about my parents, I always saw them with red eyes. I’m unsure if it was the effect of what others were saying or if I had actual memories of them with red eyes, but I never told anyone. Not that it mattered, as it turns out.

I was so scared her theory might turn out to be true that I wasn’t looking forward to my first shift. I dreaded the day my wolf arrived and begged the Moon Goddess to keep me from being cast out as a rogue.

I wanted Black River to keep being my home, and I thought not having a wolf would be the way to that.

Oh, how wrong I was. They kicked me out anyway. Maybe in a nicer way, and they covered it with lies, but still. I was a kid, and they sent me away.

So, the truth is, at first, I was happy that I was not a rogue, just a human. The downside was that, as a human, I was no longer allowed to train.

My mum and I trained in secret. She always assured me I'd be prepared when my wolf was ready to join me.

I believed her for a while. But when I turned 14, I accepted that it would never happen. I guess that was a turning point for the Alpha because they also made it clear that I didn’t belong there. There was no place for a human in a werewolf pack.

I was surprised but relieved when my teachers informed me about this school and the family I could live with. I was terrified but eager to go.

I struggled for a while and couldn’t find my footing among humans until I joined a krav maga practice. After that, I knew I needed to work out and fight to keep myself sane.

I guess it was a way for me to stay connected to my adoptive wolf family, even if I hadn’t realized it.

While I was in my head, thinking, everyone left the room. I’m picking up the equipment when Manny walks in.

“Hey, sexy.”

“Hey, Manny.” I heave a sigh at his mischievous grin. “I’m not sexy. I’m sweaty.”

We put everything back in place and clear the room to be ready for cleaning.

“How was your day?” he asks me while walking to the trainers' changing room.

“It was weird,” I sigh, thinking about Nate again.

“I see. You look like shit.” he laughs and hugs my waist from the side.

“Thank you, how nice for you to say that.” We laughed in unison. “Well, I’m a bit drunk,” I explain. “Training and drinking do not go well together.”

“Oh yeah. I’ve been there. I don’t want to do that again,” he makes a face at the memory.

When we reach the changing room, he shuts the door behind us and looks around to see if we are alone.

“I’m going to shower first,” I say to him, pushing him out the door.

“I’ll wait outside.” He yells through the door.

While I showered and dressed, everyone left the building, and Manny was ready to close up. We have receptionists during the busiest hours, but she has already left. The last trainer is the one to lock up the building, and we sometimes wait for each other when we have classes simultaneously.

“Hey,” Manny comes closer and pulls me in for a hug by my waist. “Let me make you sweaty again.”

I smile and kiss him. He is good. I like hooking up with him. He is four years younger than me, very lean with stiff muscles. I’m 5’6”, he is 6,’ and we are a good fit.

I know we work together, so we shouldn’t, but it‘s casual. No need to discuss it further because we know where we stand.

He takes me back to the office behind the reception desk as we grab at each other’s clothes. I carelessly kick the door, thinking the front door is already locked and no one is here but us.

His skin warms my palms and fingers, muscles ripping under my touch. I hum contentedly, doing something easy, familiar, and fun after the rollercoaster day I had today. His tongue laps at mine as he presses his growing erection to my core, and my body shudders with delight. His fingers are grasping my ass, pushing me more into him, and I grind myself for more friction.

One of his hands comes forward to reach between my legs. I moan into his mouth when his finger finds my pulsing clit.

He circles my clit through my jeans while I unhook my bra. There is really no explanation as to why I even got dressed.

Right as my top reaches the floor, he attaches his lips to my hardening nipple. I eagerly reach into his sweatpants to stroke his member. He unbuttons my jeans to put his hand inside while licking and sucking my nipple.

I let my head fall back and moan. My fingers slip through his hair, holding his face on my breast. He is rubbing my clit, making my thighs widen on their own accord as I slowly pump him. His fingers slip through my folds and into my wet core while keeping pressure on my clit with his palm.

Suddenly, the door swings open with a bang, and a loud growl penetrates the silent building. Manny’s lips leave mine as his head snaps towards the reception area.

“What the fuck was that?” he asks, but I can’t see more than he can as the office door we are in is almost closed.

“Sarah?” I hear a deep angry voice that I immediately recognize.

Oh, shit.