UGH SCHOOL

 LILIAN POV:

 My alarm on my cracked phone screen screamed at me like it had a personal grudge, I mean why won't it and guess who set the damn alarm me!.

 “Ugh,” I groaned, rolling over and slapping it into silence. “if morning had a face, i swear I'd punch it.”

 The ceiling of my tiny studio apartment stared back at me with the same dull indifference it always had. There was a single water stain above my bed which looked suspiciously like it was growing mold, and the half-broken fan in the corner rattled like it was one more spin away from giving up, i know it's pathetic but whatever, I sighed and sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

 “Congratulations, Lilian,” I muttered to myself, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. “You survived another night of not dying in your sleep. My medal’s should be  in the mail.”

 The floorboards were cold against my bare feet as I shuffled toward the bathroom. I got my toothbrush ready to start off with my morning grooming, and I had a quick cold shower, i mean i don't have a heater to make it hot funny yeah I know, when I was out of the bathroom I got my moisturizer, at least a girl got to look clean even when she's broke right?,  the whole morning routine felt mechanical at this point. 

Living alone had a way of making everything feel like a loop. But that was the way I liked it. It was still better than getting foster parents that would be asking invasive questions and at least I don't get  no pitying stares from social workers. It was just a cute little me, my crappy apartment, and my overpriced coffee habit, don't blame me for that one actually it's not my fault am a coffee addict and for the record it's not healthy so I've heard.

By the time I tugged on my denim jacket and slung my backpack over my shoulder, my all time d****e had faded into something close to determination. It all went like this school, work, sleep cutely then we go again the next day, it's my daily routine but thank goodness I just have one more semester and I was free from all school dramas.

 The walk to school was short just a thirty minutes walk on a good day, though whenever I had my earphones on blasting music which kind of made it feel shorter. As soon as I stepped into the hallway of Crestwood High, the smell of overused floor cleaner and teenage sweat hit my nostrils and don't forget to add the smell of perfumes from people trying to impress who obviously doesn't want them.

 “Look who decided to show up,” a familiar voice called out immediately I walked in.

 I turned to see Mia, her dark curls bouncing as she jogged up beside me. She was grinning in that annoyingly cheerful way only morning people could which am not.

 “Please,” I deadpanned, “as if I’d ever miss the thrill of another sweet day of algebra and our cafeteria mystery meat.”

 “Ah, sarcasm before first period,” she said, looping her arm through mine. “A sure sign you Lilian Carter is alive and well.”

 “I’m barely alive,” I said giving her a bow. “And well is debatable.”

Still catching up with school gist, our friend Jonah caught up to us near the lockers, his skateboard tucked under his arm and his hoodie hanging off one shoulder like he was auditioning for a slacker movie or something,“Morning, losers.”

 “Morning, future community college dropout,” I shot back.

 “Joke’s on you,” he said with a smirk. “I’m aiming for a gap year.”

 “Of course you are,” Mia sighed fanning her face, and we all laughed.

 We stayed by the lockers, exchanging our usual complaints about how we're gonna start getting too much homework,zero  enough sleep, and the never-ending countdown to graduation. Mia talked about her plans to go to medical school, Jonah swore he’d travel the world like he always did I mean it suite's him, and I… well, I didn’t have plans. Just have to survive the year and maybe figure it out later which  was about as far ahead as I could think.

 “Are you ever going to tell us what you’re doing after high school?” Mia pressed, poking my shoulder.

 “Sure,” I said. “Once I figure it out myself.”

 “Oh, our cute little classic Lilian,” Jonah said, grinning. “Mysterious and evasive.” okay he has started with his teasing again.

 “awwn my little classic Jonah,” I replied back. “Obnoxious and unemployed.”

 The bell rang before he could come up with a comeback, and we rushed into our first period together. Classes dragged the way they always did, same old …same old I doodled in the margins of my notes, stared out the window more than I probably should have, and contributed just enough to avoid getting called out by the teacher by nodding when I know she's staring at me.

 When the final bell rang, it felt like a breath of fresh air. Oh my God freedom or at least, freedom until my shift started, I work at a coffee shop.

 The coffee shop smelled like heaven and exhaustion mixed together, it had  a comforting blend of roasted beans and warm pastries. I pushed through the back door, tying my hair into a messy bun as I slipped on the familiar dark brown apron that I wore when working.

 “Hey, boss,” I called as I passed the counter.

 “oh, Lilian,” Mr. Rourke greeted me with a nod from behind the espresso machine. “You’re early, that's nice of you.”

 “Shocking,” I said. “It’s almost like I don’t have a social life.” I said grinning.

 He chuckled. “Go ahead and set up stuffs a'ight, The evening rush is about to hit.”

 I did as told, flipping the sign to “OPEN” and checking the pastry display. Working as a barista wasn’t glamorous, but it paid the rent barely and kept me from thinking too much. And if there was one thing I’d learned, it was that distraction was a survival skill.

 The first customers trickled in around 5 PM, students with laptops, tired parents with screaming toddlers, and the occasional grumpy office worker who looked like they’d rather be anywhere else but here.

 “Hi, what can I get for you?” I asked for the hundredth time that evening, plastering on my best barista fake smile.

 “Large caramel macchiate with an extra shot please,” said a woman without looking up from her phone.

 “Coming right up.”i said with a smile and prepared her order.

 “Next!”

 By eight o’clock, my feet was aching, my back was stiff, and my smile felt like it was stapled to my face like I was paralyzed with it. Still, I powered throug, it went like this pour, steam, hand off, repeat. I’d gotten good at slipping bits of sarcasm into conversations with regulars, though most of them were too caffeinated or too tired to notice.

 “Rough day huh?” I asked a college student hunched over his laptop as I handed him his ordered latte.

 “Finals,” he groaned.

 “Ah,” I said. “So you’re halfway to a mental breakdown, Congratulations.”

 He snorted a laugh, and I felt a little less dead inside, I love when I make people laugh.

 The last customer left just before 10 PM which was our closing time, leaving the shop silent except for the hum of the refrigerator. I cleaned the counters, wiped down the machines, and hurriedly flipped the sign to “CLOSED.”

 “Good work today hmm,” Mr. Rourke said as he locked the office door. “See you tomorrow?”

 “Wouldn’t miss it,” I replied, hanging my apron back on the hook, I got it from earlier and grabbing my backpack.

 The streets were quieter than usual as I stepped out into the night,  A soft breeze cut through the warm air, raising goosebumps along my arms. My sneakers echoed against the pavement as I made my way toward the alley I always took home, it was  a narrow stretch of cracked floor and flickering streetlights that cut ten minutes off my walk, it's kind of creepy.

 I hated that alley whenever I passed there I remember every horror movie cliché that I've watched. But time was time, and I was always too tired to care.

 “Okay, Lilian,” I muttered to myself as I adjusted my backpack strap. “You’re seventeen. You’ve survived worse than a creepy alley.” that's what I said almost everyday when I passed here.

 Still, I quickened my  pace, My sneakers slapped against the pavement a little faster, my breath a little sharper. The wind blew gently carrying with it the faint scent of rain and something else something metallic, almost sweet like when you smelt it you would wanna taste it. I shook it off that's just my stupid imagination.

 Halfway through the valley, I pulled out my phone and texted Mia.

 Me: made it out of work alive. barely.

 Mia: proud of u <3 now get home before the serial killer gets u

 Me: thats so comforting, thanks.

 I shoved the phone back into my pocket and laughed under my breath. If only my life were interesting enough for serial killers to even think of stalking me.

 The alley stretched ahead, empty and familiar as usual. But tonight, it felt kind of different heavier, somehow and very quiet like I was the only one walking which was exactly what am doing. It was like the darkness itself was watching me. I tightened my grip on my backpack strap and started running, the way I always did when the silence pressed too close.

 By the time I reached the street on the other side, my heart was racing, and my lungs burned from the sprint. I slowed down, shaking my head at myself.

 “Paranoid much?” I whisperedwitha chuckle.

 I know am being stupid but paranoia was better than regret.

 I turned onto my street, already dreaming about collapsing into bed and ignoring my homework. The neon glow of a corner store sign flickered ahead, and beyond that, the faint light from my apartment window yeah I forgot to turn it off, I breathed out at least I already had another day survived, another loop completed.

 I didn’t know it yet but trust me when I said that was the last normal night I’d ever have.