MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE.

PHOEBE'S POV

School has always had its ups and downs for me, But the number of downs definitely exceeds the number of ups by a long shot. For one, there is the fact that I have to see the people that I haven't seen all through the mid term break which would not be a problem for most people my age but let's just say I don't do so well in public, at least not among my peers and definitely not among the students in South Philly High.

There is also the fact that I have to sit through those hour long classes which once again would not be a problem except unlike most people my age, I have gone further that my class will ever go this semester. Yes I like to read.  

The list of downs could go on but let's talk about the Good part of school. Except for the library which I refer to as my safe haven in school, there is also, HIM. Kevin Kingsley or (KK) as I like to refer to him in my head. He is the starter for our schools football Team. The guy I have had a crush on since first year of high school and now I am in my senior year.. Sheeshhh, that is quite long, now that I have said it out loud. I have liked him since he helped me pick up my book when I tripped in the hall way because I always seem to find an invisible rock to trip on. 

Do not get me wrong though, it is not like I will ever grow the nerve to talk to him or anything like that, but it's still nice seeing him from afar, that way I have a fresh image of him in my head and I can go home and Fantasize about us being married and in a place where nobody knows us or our 3 dogs.

What, don't judge me. Let a girl imagine what she wants to imagine okay.

Anyways, it is the first day of school tomorrow and I am currently standing in front of my bathroom mirror talking to myself and thinking of things that I am going to think about before I go to sleep. That probably sounds weird huh. 

"Phoebe, lights out, it's late".

Talk of the devil. I walk out of my bathroom and see her head poking into my bed room with somewhat of a smile on her face .. 

"Talking to yourself again under the disguise of mentally prepping yourself and saying that everybody does it at a point in their life?" 

"Haha, Very Funny mum”

with a scoff, she walks into my room,

“How are you feeling?”

“I don’t really know mum. It’s like I know senior year just started and all but I am more than ready for it to come to an end”

She gives me a sad smile and pulls me into a hug

“come on honey, this is your senior year. You have to try to get out of this phase of yours . It’s been too long don’t you think? You need to at least try to enjoy your last year of high school because you’ll never get another one “

"I don't want to get another one, high school students aren't trust worthy, people in general are not trust worthy "

" How would you know when you don't even give them a chance"

I don't answer

"You need to start letting people in to your life sweetie, and who knows, you may just find people who you want to keep in your life for a really long time"

And that right there is the problem mum, people are not toys that can just be kept. 

"and maybe you can even get a boyfriend. That way I don't have to be worried that you'll grow up and just become a weird lonely cat lady"

" That would never happen mum. I like to think of myself as more of a dog person"

we both laugh

“Goodnight mum"

She giggles , "Goodnight sweetie..." 

"And actually go to sleep this time honey. Stop daydreaming when you can dream in your sleep."

And with that she leaves my room.. But that doesn't stop me from talking,

"it is not the same thing mum, when I'm awake I can literally imagine whatever I want and be wherever I want to be, with whomever I want to be with. When I'm sleeping, it is different.. I always have dreams that don't make sense, like what am I doing in Spongebobs pineapple, I mean I have a swimming phobia and it's like , oh who am I talking to, she's gone."

My mum is a really fun and funny person but she is a sweet soul. It's mostly me and my Mum. My dad died when I was younger. I can't really remember how but one minute he was there and the next he was gone, like he never existed. And it doesn't help that I can't even remember how he died. It's like everything that happened in the month of August nine years ago was completely erased from my memory. Mum doesn't really like to talk about it and I don't bother asking cause I know that it makes her sad.

I have an older brother whom I love so much. we are really close and I tell him everything but He is in college now and almost never comes home because of the course he is studying which brings us back to its Mostly me and my mum. 

But enough about that, it's late and you know what that means, time to Fantasize about myself and Shawn Mendez on an island where we have to find a way to escape under 100days which in the process we fall in love and get married and realise that we have everything we want and don't need to leave the island after all. 

I definitely have been reading too many W*****d novels but oh well, that is my life..