Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Read of Hope

Alaya's point

A soft light filled through the slits of the old window, caressing my face still marked by fatigue. I was barely asleep, shaken by the fear of being found, and torn between the unknown of tomorrow and the violence of yesterday. I hadn't left this nightmare yet, but at least I was still breathing. 

I was always sitting in this creaky bed, covered with an old blanket that smelled of lavender and wet wood. The silence was only disturbed by the floor of the floor when the old woman entered. She wore a tray with dry bread and a smoking cup. His gestures were slow but full of kindness. 

-I have something for you, she said in a hoarse voice, softened by a sincere smile. These are my daughter's clothes ... they should go. 

She placed a carefully folded dress on the edge of the bed. I stretched my hands, curious, a little nervous. My fingers cleared the fabric: a midnight blue cotton dress, long sleeves, simple but elegant. She had a familiar, almost comforting smell. There was also a soft leather belt, a small gray wool vest, and worn but solid flat shoes. 

-Thank you ... Really, I whispered, looking at her. 

She looked away, embarrassed by my gratitude. Perhaps she wanted me to go quickly, or could she not stand to get attached to someone in passing. 

I got up, the cold ground under my bare feet, then undressed slowly. My wedding dress ... or at least, what was left of it ... was crumpled, dirty, and still bore my flight. I was ashamed of it. This garment which was to symbolize a sacred union was only a fabric soiled by fear and disillusionment. I wrapped it on itself and put it in a corner of the room. 

By putting on the new dress, I felt a little less vulnerable. She was surprisingly well. Not too tight, not too wide. The belt highlighted my waist and the fabric fell just above my ankles. I put the shoes, the grated laces reminding me that all of this was only temporary, but precious. 

I turned to the old woman to say goodbye when she lowered herself in front of an old wooden trunk. She searched for a few seconds, then came out a boxed iron box. She opened it and handed me a bundle of a few tickets. 

-Here, she said, putting them in her hand. You will need it. It's not much, but ... enough to eat and take a bus. You can't keep walking like this. 

I looked at her, mouth. This gesture hugged my throat. I was nothing for her. She could have denounced me, or worse, but instead ... She offered me hope. 

- I don't know what to say ... you ... you have already done so much for me. 

I put the tickets in an old handbag that she had also given me the day before. He was brown, a little scratched, but solid. I have a great inspiration. The morning cold stung my cheeks, and the wind was already rushing through the ajar door. 

- Good luck, my daughter. May God watch over you. If it was not for these damn conditions, I would have kept you a little. But I already have two grandchildren to feed. And the neighbors are too curious ... 

- I understand. And thank you. With all my heart. 

She put a caller hand on my shoulder. A simple gesture, but it was worth more than a speech. I looked down one last time, then went out in the street, the bag on the shoulder, heavy heart and trembling legs. 

I had no idea where I was going. 

I walk without goal, my heart beating, the ideas confused. Each step seems uncertain to me. Where are I going? I have no idea. All I know is that I have to go away, flee as far as possible from this city, from Santino ... everything. 

"If I go to mom ... he will end up finding me there too. »»

I sigh deeply. No, impossible. I have to go elsewhere. Anywhere. Just ... far. Far from him, far from this life that we want to impose me. I don't even have a precise destination, but I am decided. As soon as I find a station, I will buy a ticket, it doesn't matter for where. And once there… I will look for a job. I have no choice. 

I continue to walk, pressing the step. The morning wind is still fresh, and I instinctively tighten my jacket too large around me. It was that of the old lady's daughter. A beige wool jacket, a little eliminated with sleeves, but hot. I also tighten the little shoulder bag very hard which contains the tickets it gave me. That's all I have. My only hope. 

I run in an alley, thinking of cutting towards the Grande avenue. It is a little dark, narrow, but I don't want to do detours. The smell of moisture suddenly mixes with that, stronger, acute, burned grass. 

There are three of them. Three men, backed by the wall, smoking, visibly smashed. One of them laughs loudly, the other has red eyes like embers, and the third fixes me as soon as I appear. 

My heart misses a beat. I lower my eyes, I squeeze my bag against me. 

"Keep your head lowered ... Walk quickly ... don't say anything ..."

But it is too late. The third guy moves away from the wall. 

- Hey, beauty ... are you not afraid of walking yourself in this corner? he said with a twisted smile. 

I don't answer. I'm trying to speed up, but my injured leg sets me violently. The bandage, already humid and dirty, sticks to my skin and burns me. 

I grimace. My step slows down in spite of me. 

- Wait! he continues, approaching. Where do you go like that? You don't look here. 

The other two are now looking at me too. They advance slowly. I step back, my fingers tense on the strap of my bag. 

-I have nothing for you, I whispered. Leave me alone. 

- Ah yeah? Yet you have a nice little bag, there ... There must be something interesting in it. 

- No ! It's only ... only personal affairs. Leave me, please. 

I feel panic to go up. My hands are shaking. I'm trying to get around one of them, but it blocks me. Then everything goes very quickly. 

-Go ahead, said one of them to the other. She is too malignant. 

I'm trying to run away, but my leg lets go. I stumble and fall on my knees. They take advantage of it. One of the guys suddenly tears me away. 

- NO ! I scream, getting up with it. Give me that! Give it back to me! 

They laugh. Dry, mocking, cruel. 

- Thank you, Princess. Good trip, huh! 

And they run away, almost laughing, always laughing, leaving me there, emptied, humiliated, lost. 

I stand for a moment, frozen. Then I collapse. 

Tears flow without me being able to retain them. It's too much. Far too much. 

- No ... no, no, no ... not that ... I breathe between two sobs. That was all I had ... 

I cover my face with my hands. My breathing is short. I feel empty, helpless, desperate. 

I have nothing. More a penny. Not even enough to take a bus to run away from me. Everything collapses. 

- And now ? What am I going to do? I can even flee anymore ... I'm stuck ... 

I stay there for a long time, alone in the dirty alley, dirty clothes and hearts in crumbs, to cry on the little hope I had left.