Sarah Willow, a sweet girl, born into the lowliest of ranks has always wanted a happily ever after. She believed she had found it when destiny brought Alpha Ryder, her fated mate to her. But her fairytale was short lived when her protector turns out to be her worst nightmare. Shattered and broken by his betrayal, Sarah vows to make him feel every bit of pain she had felt. But there’s a thin line between love and hate. As the line is crossed severally in her encounter with Ryder, will Sarah be able to stick to her plan? Or will she fall back to buried memories? Will she be willingly to love again, despite her past? Or will her thirst for revenge get the better part?
View More「死んじゃえ」
ゆっくりと閉じられていくドアの隙間から見えた息子の顔には嫌悪が浮かび、その口から信じられないような言葉が出て、青褪めた那須川雪乃(なすかわゆきの)は伸ばした腕を静かに下ろした。
冬の時季、誰も使わない別荘に忘れてきた大事なものを取りに行きたいとねだられ、父親に怒られたくないからと誰にも告げずに母子2人だけで訪れてみれば、建物裏にある物置小屋に閉じ込められた。
「陽斗(はると)!お願いっ、開けて!」
叫んでも、聞こえてきたのは遠ざかる子供の足音だけだった。
10年間我が子当然に大切に育ててきた息子の仕打ちに、雪乃はただ呆然と涙を流した。
どうしてっ…。
ちょうど1年くらい前、なぜか急に子供たちの彼女への態度が変わった。
夏休みを利用して、夫であり父親の那須川悠一(なすかわゆういち)の海外出張について行ったあの頃から、目に見えて冷たくなった。
「うるさい」「あっち行って」「僕(私)の物に勝手に触るな」
数え上げたらきりが無いほど数々の暴言を吐かれ、時には強く叩かれたりもした。
雪乃はなんとなくその理由を察してはいたが、それでも10年という絆を信じていた。
はぁ…。ママ、ママって、あんなに可愛かったのになぁ…。
ドアを叩きすぎて手は腫れ、叫びすぎて声が枯れ、毛布一枚ない粗末な小屋の寒さに体力も奪われ、とうとう雪乃は床に倒れ込んだ。
悠一…。
雪乃は夫の姿を思い描き、その冷たい表情とまるで熱のない口調を思い出して微かに嘲笑った。
こんな結婚、しなきゃよかった…。
そう後悔しながら、彼女の意識は徐々に暗闇へと沈んでいった…。
そしてー
「ーき乃っ、雪乃!」
小声ではあるがそのきつい口調に、藤堂雪乃(とうどうゆきの)はハッ…と意識を覚醒させた。
なに…。何なの、これ…?
ザワザワとした喧騒と静かなBGMが彼女の耳に触り、それと同時に目の前に立つ男を見て、雪乃は反射的に一歩後退った。
周りを見回すと着飾った家族が心配そうに自分を見ていて、雪乃はここがどこで、今何をしているのか理解した。
ただ、理解したからといって到底信じられることではなく、彼女の唇は微かに震えた。
「藤堂雪乃っ、早くしろっ」
「……」
そう急かされて、彼女は向かい合って立つ2人の横に困ったような顔で微笑う神父さまを見た。
指輪交換、ね…。
あぁ~、なんで誓っちゃったかなぁ…。
できれば永遠の愛を誓う前、できればこの結婚式の前に覚醒めたかった……。
あからさまにガッカリと肩を落とす花嫁に、新郎の那須川悠一は苛立った。
「早く手を出せ!」
はぁ〜。仕方ない…。
ため息をついた雪乃は左手をだらんと前に出した。
悠一はそれを掴んで、そのほっそりとした薬指にぎゅっと無理矢理指輪をはめ込んだ。
それから「んっ」と自らの手も新婦に向かって差し出し、嫌そうな表情をする彼女に早くしろと言わんばかりに、また改めて「ん!」と突き出した。
雪乃は本当にしぶしぶ…という感じで悠一に指輪をはめたが、その時突然、彼女の胸に後悔の波が押し寄せて来た。
「ったく…指輪の交換くらいで、何をそんなにもったいぶってんだか…っ」
悠一の文句を聞きながら、雪乃は呟いた。
「やだ…」
「は?なんだって?」
「やだって言ったの!」
そう叫んで、雪乃は徐ろに薬指にはまった結婚指輪を外そうとしだした。
「おい!」
悠一は慌てて彼女の手を掴み、サッと神父の方を見た。
「おいっ、さっさと宣誓しろ!」
「やだやだやだやだ!神様お願いぃーっ。こんなの認めないで!」
「雪乃!!」
この急なドタバタで結婚式はめちゃくちゃだった。
でも雪乃の必死な抵抗も懇願も虚しく、2人の婚姻は一応成立したのだった。
控室にてー
「どういうことなんだ!?」
那須川悠一は目の前のテーブルをバンッ!と叩いた。
「お前は結婚をなんだと思ってんだ!?遊びじゃないんだぞ!」
そう怒鳴っても、ウェディングドレスを脱いだ藤堂雪乃は平気そうに、その唇を尖らせてぶつくさ文句を言った。
「だって、いやだったのよ」
「なに!?」
ふんっとそっぽを向く雪乃に、悠一は怒りで目眩がしそうだった。
自分との結婚が嫌だった?なにを言ってるんだ、この女は!
イライラと歯軋りし、悠一はドカッと椅子に座った。
ふふっ
そんな時、場違いに響いた微笑い声にギロリと視線を向けた。
「なにが可笑しいんですか、母さん?」
「だって…」
答えながらも、彼女は笑いが止まらないようで、ふふふっと目を細めていた。
「母さんっ」
「ごめんなさい?だって、昔の雪乃さんを思い出しちゃって…っ」
「……」
悠一は黙って一つ息をついた。
「おばさま…」
雪乃は恥ずかしそうに頬を染め、ちらりと悠一の方を見た。
確かに、今『完璧な令嬢』と世間で言われている藤堂雪乃は、かつて子供の頃それとは程遠いお転婆な女の子だった。
両家の祖母同士が姉妹ということもあって昔から付き合いがあり、雪乃と悠一も幼い頃から顔見知りだった。
再従兄弟という間柄、割と頻繁に顔を合わせてはいたが男女だったからか、単に性格上か、そこまで親しくしてはいなかった。
悠一は那須川家唯一の後継者として小さい頃から厳しく育てられていたし、友人として付き合う相手も好きに選べる状況ではなかった。
それに比べて藤堂家は比較的自由な家風で、令嬢としての教育も最低限恥をかかない程度、という感じだった。
初めて会った時、悠一は大人たちが食事を楽しんでいるその横で静かに本を読んでいて、その姿は子供とは思えない落ち着き払ったものだった。
一方、雪乃は3歳下の春奈(はるな)と手を繋ぎ、那須川家の広大な庭を散歩中迷子になっていた。
不安で泣き出した妹を慰めながら歩く姿を窓から見た悠一が、執事に声をかけ、迎えに行かせたのだった。
あちこち歩き廻ったのだろう…うっすらと汗をかき、乱れた髪の毛に葉っぱを付けて「ありがとう」とはにかんだ笑顔にドキンと胸が鳴ったことを憶えていた。
悠一は目の前で柔らかそうな頬を膨らませ、拗ねているようにそっぽを向く雪乃を見て、確かに子供の頃を思い出すな…と微かに微笑った。
それを横目で見た雪乃が「なによ?」と言うのに、「いや…」と目元を緩めた。
Sarah“Ryder!” I screamed, searching and punching my way through the chaos. “Ryder!”Pain coursed through me as something slammed into my face, knocking me to the ground.“Damn it,” I hissed, forcing myself up. I should have been more alert, but my mind was scrambled— I needed to find him.A lone figure, standing a few inches away from the fight, caught my attention as I struggled to stand on shaky feet.He had his back to me, but I recognized that broad shoulders anywhere. It was Lucas.Adrenaline rushed through my veins, pushing me off the floor and towards him. He was standing, almost like he was in a trance.Strange. But I was about to find out something worse.Almost like he could sense me, he cocked his head, his eyes briefly locking into mine before turning back.But it was enough for my eyes to register the object of his attention.A chill crawled down my spine. The tall, looming figure in front of Lucas has the moonlight on him.Drako.I froze, my breath catching in my thro
SarahI started up the stairs, ready to strip my sweaty clothes off and drench my body in hot water before the baby woke up; a luxury I couldn’t buy.She had her own routine; keep me up all night and sleep all through the day. It was a miracle she was sleeping right now.The house was quiet, just like I wanted. Everyone was still asleep… everyone except Ryder. He was standing at the top of the stairs.“It’s time.” He whispered, as soon as I got close.It took a second for my tired brain to understand what he was saying. “Are you sure?”It had taken countless talks to get him to agree to the plan and he had done so grudgingly.“Positive. The tracker picked up her movement again. And my man on the ground just confirmed it. They are on the move.”About darn time. It’s been a long week holed up in this tiny cottage, trying to act normal while lying in wait for Lucas and Alexis.And my personal monster.“How much time do we have?” I asked, my blood pulsed at the thought of confronting Luca
Sarah“She’s beautiful,” his voice floated through my half-conscious mind.“I know,” I muttered, my eyes slowly opening. “And feisty too. She held my finger in her little grip for so long… I fell in love all over again.”The memory brought a smile to my face. The labour was tough but getting to hold her in my arms, and seeing her tiny body snuggled close to mine, made up for the hell I went through.And the one I was yet to face.“Just like her mother,” Ryder spoke, grabbing my arm.My eyes lazily settled on Ryder, sitting beside me. He was smiling, despite the bruises covering his face… and hand; I realized as I let my gaze travel down his body.“You look like you've been in a fight and came out the worst of it.”He chuckled. “Nothing compared to how you're looking.” he squeezed my hand gently. “You did well, Sarah. She is beautiful and healthy. Have you decided on a name for her?”I consciously scanned my body. “Not yet. I've been playing around with a few. Any suggestions? I'm open
LucasIt felt stupid, standing here, staring out the window while my whole world was falling apart. But that has been my routine for the past week, except today was different.“About time,” I muttered, my eyes trailing the pickup truck that had just pulled in.“I’ll see her in the study,” I spoke to the guard standing at the entrance. “Don’t let her take a step to any other part of the house, except it leads to the study.”I caught his silent acknowledgement as I walked passed.There was going to be a lot of explaining and screaming and I wasn’t going to be the one doing either. She’d betrayed me and this time, she was going to serve as an example to anyone who might be harbouring thoughts of that nature.Especially, her worthless father!The door creaked open, jarring me from my thoughts.“Lucas.” My name rolled off her tongue like a plead, much to my annoyance.But her appearance caught me by surprise.“Alexis. Welcome home,” I replied sarcastically, my eyes slowly taking her in.S
Ryder My lips quivered with disgust. “Tell me again, Zane, when did you come up with this speech?”“This isn't a speech. For the safety and growth of this pack, it is in everyone's best interest that you step aside for someone more capable to take responsibility.”I laughed, although it held no humour, it held traces of my anger. “Everyone? Who have you been talking to?”“Everyone… including the people of this land who you seem to have so confidently forgotten about, because of your heart. Tell me, Ryder, is she truly worth it?”I clenched my fists, fighting to keep my anger on hold. “You think I’d risk everything for her if she wasn’t?”Zane took a step closer, his eyes narrowing. “Love isn’t enough to lead a pack. You need to be able to make tough decisions without letting your heart cloud your judgment.”I did that once and where did it land me? Right here, in this mess. But I couldn't blame Zane. He knew nothing about it.Still, I won't let him tear my pack apart because of ignor
RyderIf I could ask for one thing right now, it would be the chance to go back in time and correct my mistakes.That night with Alexis was a mistake.Trusting her father was a mistake.Hurting Sarah and pushing her away was a mistake.Too many mistakes made already. And I was about to make another if I let Sarah have her way.I had stayed awake last night and yet, I could only come up with the lamest plan, involving the one person I hated and couldn't even afford to trust.I paused on the front steps, taking in deep breaths before uncorking my water bottle and gulping down.“Where have you been?” A voice startled me.A shadow emerged and the light from the porch cast a warm glow on my unexpected companion.It was Ava.I cocked my head at her in confusion. Her question was unexpected, bizarre even. Slowly, I continued my ascent to the front porch, ignoring her.She blocked my path. “She is gone.” Flatly.What was she talking about? And why was she waiting for me, out here in the fark
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