Chapter 1

Jaden

1 year ago

This evening marked the full moon. I had been seeing my petite pumpkin for 3 and a half weeks now. The moment she saw me, she had dug her claws in so deep I didn’t see anyone else but her. I’m fucking glad too. She is cute as a kitten and a wildcat in bed. A deadly combination, if you ask me. She was a girl who knew what she wanted and didn’t hesitate to take charge. It surprised me how much I fucking liked that. As an alpha I’m always in control.

We walked with my arm slung over one shoulder, a cigarette in the other through the woods behind my house, waiting for the moon to reach its peak. Only then would it reveal if we were mates. It didn’t bother me. She was mine, regardless of what the moon goddess thought. Better actually, if she wasn’t my fated, my cold dead heart only beat for her. I choose her. That meant something to me.

Despite the number of times I had reassured her, it didn’t matter what happened tonight. I could tell she was nervous though. She was unusually silent for once, not talking my ear off until I shut her up with a kiss or my cock. She was too quiet, and I didn’t like it one bit. My arm slung around her slender shoulders as my fingers rested just underneath her sports bra, trailing circles on her fine cleavage. Seriously, this girl was perfection. To prove just how serious I was, I wanted to mark her claim her as mine under the moonlit sky tonight. I could see her biting that rosebud lip of hers. Heat flooded my cock, remembering how she would do the same to me. I like a little pain with my pleasure.

The twigs cracked beneath our feet as we continued walking to our spot. I couldn’t take the silence a second longer. I stub my cigarette out on the floor with my thick black docs. “Pumpkin, what is bothering you?” I ask, my voice sounding harsher than I mean it to. Those almond shaped cornflower blue eyes framed with thick long lashes glided up to meet my blazing green ones. She stopped biting her lip, licking it instead as she turned to face me, stopping on the spot. I could see the vulnerability in her eyes. She feared what tonight was going to mean. I wasn’t, it changed nothing for me.

She splayed her hands on my pecs, gazing up at me, her heartbeat pounding like a drum. “What – what if we aren’t mates, Jaden?” she whispered, her honey toned voice dripping with sweetness. I claimed her plush lips in a kiss as my arms wrapped around her slight body, running them down her back until I grabbed her curved ass. She kissed me back greedily, desperately, like she was committing this moment to memory. She pressed her body against mine, fitting seamlessly as her lips devoured me before she sucked on my tongue as her arousal perfumed the air.

When we broke apart, she smirked, feeling my stiff rod press against her taut stomach. “You never change, babe,” she teases as she steps away from me, causing me to swallow. An uneasy feeling settles in the pit of my gut. The wind whistles between us, ruffling the leaves on the trees as her loose, long, dark, silky hair obscures her face from me. I notice something in her eyes before she averts her gaze down at the ground, her trainers kicking the dirt.

I try to squash the feeling away as I take in her fucking fine body. It doesn’t help that she is only in tight, snug yoga shorts and a sports bra, her curves on full display as my eyes feast on those long tanned legs, my mind wanders to having them wrapped around my body as I pound her pussy whilst she screams my name. Fucking perfect.

Shaking my head, endeavouring to focus before I back her up against the tree and do just that. “Babe, how many times do I have to tell you? I want you, only you.” I state, walking towards her as I grip her waist, tugging her back to me. She offers a faint nod, trying to smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. That feeling develops in my stomach and, for the first time in my life, I genuinely pray that she is my mate. I sweep her hair away from her face, her cute little button nose and dimples make her look so fucking innocent and sweet it’s hard to imagine the positions I get her in.

“I know … it’s just,” she trails off looking up at the sky as her heart hammers away I look up to knowing what it means. The moon has reached its peak. Nothing happens, no fucking mate bond snaps into place. Everything is the same as before. I look down at her, my fingers stroking her bare, smooth skin. She still stares up at the sky. I can see her resolve breaking the flicker of hope that we could really be mates still lingers before slowly being squished out. We stand like that time, standing still until she blinks away her tears, pushing out of my hold. “Pumpkin …” I begin, but she steps further back, her heart beating as those striking azure eyes of her turn glassy.

“You’re not my mate,” she utters bitterly, looking torn as she gazes up at me. That’s when I realise regardless of my reassurance to her, regardless of how much I have showed the pack, she is mine. The one I want. That the mate bond doesn’t matter to me. It matters to her. “Not your fated, but we can still choose each other. I want you! Fuck the mate bond!” I remind her of the promises we had shared. A slight edge to my voice, but she shakes her head, her lower lip trembling before her face shields her emotions from me. She has already made up her mind. This time I don’t know how I will change her mind.

“No, we can’t. That never works unless you fated dies or you reject them. I don’t want to live a lie Jaden; always waiting for the day you tell me you have found your fated mate, that you don’t want me anymore,” she tells me emotionlessly as she tucks her hair behind her ear. She looks calm and collected. The only sign that she ever felt something for me is the way her heartbeat accelerates. “That won’t ever happen,” I stress. I know in my cold, dead heart I am not interested in anyone else, but it’s like talking to a brick wall. Nothing I say will change the facts.

“You don’t know that, Jaden and neither do I. I thought we had something … that the reason I was so drawn to you was because deep down the bond was pulling us together, but that’s not the case. There is someone out there for me … and there is someone out there for you,” she utters, her voice cracking at the last second before she wipes a stray tear from her face.

“I’m sorry Jaden, but this,” she gestures between the two of us with her fingers. “Is over,” she turns from me, and I feel my soul dying with every step she takes as she walks away. My heart hammers as I reach in my pocket, digging out my packet of smokes and a lighter as I fight the pain that grows in my chest. Pushing down any emotions I have. Feelings make you weak. I will not be weak. A puff of smoke billows around me as I become lost in thought, watching her slowly go in the distance. Do I go after her?

I wrack my brain, trying to think of something to say or do to win her over. When I could no longer see her, I gazed back up at the starry sky, my fists clenched by my side as I cursed the moon goddess and cursed her for leaving me. I’m going to prove to everyone that I don’t give a fuck who my mate is. I’ll bide my time, but when my plan is through, she will realise that a chosen bond is better than a fated - because it’s real.

The gods don’t always know what’s best for us. I have seen what a fated bond can do: the weakness; the devastation; anguish it causes. I’ll get her back one way or the other. She will realise I was right. That it doesn’t matter who she or I may be fated to. We are drawn to each other for a reason. She just needs to understand that, and I’m not going to stop until I make her.