The fight between Arlo and Hunter bothers me so much. I skip out on Hunter's band auditions. It's easy to blame my absence on a hangover. However, I did drink a little last night. Hunter won't know how much.
Why did I have to be such a bitch to Arlo? Why do I care so much anyway? School starts tomorrow. I'd better focus on that—my phone rings."Emma, I saw the video of Hunter fighting last night. What happened? Are you okay?""Yeah, I'm fine, Freddie. And don't ask me to go to the Aftershock auditions today. I am not feeling well."Freddie, of all people, understands teen parties. He practically encourages me to attend them for fame, followers, and friends. The three 'Fs' I am supposed to care about. Freddie never thinks about the fourth 'F' for fuck. As in, I don't give a fuck today, Freddie."Okay, I will let Model Perfect know you aren't feeling well. What are we sick with today?""I'm hungover okay? I want a day off."Freddie sighs into my phone to signal his disappointment in me."I understand, Emma. Take the day. But you'd better be fresh for the first day of school today. Davis high school is waiting for its Queen B to be at her best."Can I barf yet? I don't want to be Queen B tomorrow. I don't want to be anyone's top model. I just wish it was college already. One more year to pretend I care. One more year to be on top of the food chain. Then I will start over as a freshman at some college. I don't even know if I want to go to college right away. I've considered taking a gap year to explore the world.I sleep the rest of the day off. I wake up, and it's already time for school. The last time I slept that much, I was coming down with something like a cold or worse. I take my vitamin C supplements and hope for the best. Look like Aftershock picked Jeremiah Winters for their new lead guitarist. That's good news for Rosa, then. By the end of this weekend, she will be more popular than me. And that's the last thing I need as Model Perfect's chosen one. I just need to make this one last year with them to pay for my college fund or my gap year fund, whichever comes first.The first day of senior here has arrived—another year of high school and another popular year. Sometimes I like being popular. It means I always have friends and always have a conversation in the halls. But sometimes it's lonely. My discussions are intense; I'd call them shallow. But that's how people see me, the shallow girl, the model girl. If only people could see me a little deeper, know me a little better.The hallways filled with new freshmen faces. The younger siblings of my friends. Ninth-grade boys are attempting to grab the butts of the hot chicks. The emos are wearing black clothes and quoting Edgar Allen Poe. The football team with its jocks. Hunter's on the team. He used to be the quarterback. But his band commitments got in the way of that title. So now Jeremiah Winters is the quarterback, and Rosa Higgins will be a prom queen competitor of mine. I've thought about skipping prom this year. Last year Hunter almost got arrested for spiking the punch bowl.Then there are the computer geeks who are the IT unit of the school. They make apps and have future businessmen written in their future. Finally, the theatre dorks are some of my favorites. They recite songs and know the lines of all the old and newer movies. I secretly quote with them in my head."Hey, Emma, I'm sorry you missed Aftershock's auditions yesterday."Hunter says while grabbing me and spinning me around. Is it wrong that I feel nothing for him? He smiles, and I feel a little flutter. But not the same one that was there freshmen year. We've been dating for three years. I lost my virginity last year to Hunter. It took some convincing on his part and courage on mine. Maybe that's what I need, a passionate love-making weekend with Hunter to rekindle me."No, it's cool. I felt like literal shit all day yesterday. I was the sleep it off girl yesterday. Freddie called me it was not pretty."Hunter takes my hand, and we walk to class. The first class is an English class. Oh goodie, my worst subject. I love reading books. It's the papers I suck at. While everyone else can form sentences, I get stuck writing run-on sentences. On and on, my sentences dance around each other. I can't win.My seat is cold, and the wood is chipped. The names of graduated students are written all over the top of the desk. I smell the dry erase markers. It reminds me of gasoline. Finally, the bell rings, and the class falls silent."Good morning class, I am your new English teacher. My name is Mr. Douglass."Mr. Douglass writes his name on the board. He straightens out his glasses and puffs out his chest. Mr. Douglass is a middle-aged African American gentleman. He looks like he knows my whole life story. I bet he does if he reads the news or goes on social media. Perhaps he has investigated all of us."We are going to start this year off with an assignment. Our English class will have an ongoing assignment with students from Mr. Finky's photography class. So everyone on your feet, we are going on a little field trip to the photography class."We all get up and form a line. Squeaky sneakers are heard in the hallway. The photography class is in the basement, and we are on the second floor. Hunter isn't in my class. None of my close friends are. Just my shallow admirers and acquaintances. Marianne Porter is the only person I really know in this class. Well, know outside of school.When we get to the photography class, we stand in the back of the room. Mr. Douglass and Mr. Finky exchange a few words and then tell us about the collaboration project."Good morning, everyone. Every Monday and Wednesday morning, we will gather here in the photography room and work on this assignment. You will get assigned one partner for the entire year. You have to work together for your grade this year. Since we don't want anyone feeling left out, we have already assigned partners."I look around the room at the photography students. No one looks familiar. For a popular girl, I really am lost.Mr. Finky and Mr. Douglass start calling off names for a few minutes. Then I hear my name."Emma Rhodes, your partner will be Arlo Finch."Arlo Finch? I didn't even see him when I scanned the classroom before. Arlo turns around, and his baby browns rolling around in his skull at me."Mr. Finky, I can't work with a model girl," Arlo protests."You should consider yourself lucky for this assignment. Finally, you of all students in here have a professional model as your partner. That should thrill you as a budding photographer with a promising career," Mr. Finky says.I sit down next to Arlo, and he turns his back away from me. Everyone else pairs off, and Arlo still ignores me."Now to get to the best part, revealing your assignment. For this assignment, you will need to meet outside of the classroom. First, photographers will take pictures of your models all over town and develop the photos in the darkroom. Then the English class will report on where they went, who they meet to take photos with. After the photos develop, you may feel free to write a few short stories for extra credit along the way. Any questions?" Mr. Douglass asks.I don't bother raising my hand. I am now a student model for Arlo to do whatever he wants with."Emma, come here," Mr. Douglass says."Yes, coming. What is it?""Will you sign this waiver allowing us to photograph you? We have to clear this assignment with Model Perfect. And since you are eighteen now, we need to get your signature and not your guardian's."I sign the waiver and head back to my desk. The rest of the class is me trying to get Arlo's attention."Arlo, I'm sorry, alright. I've been stressed out lately. I got bad news on Friday, and it ruined my weekend. So I'm sorry for letting it out on you the other night."Arlo turns around. His left cheek dimple brightens the room somehow. I blush a little. Am I attracted to this guy? No way."I forgive you, model girl. I have to if I want a good grade in this class. But no more parties. I only want to focus on this assignment. I'm sorry about your bad news. You seemed kind of down at the beach when we met. I won't share your secrets if you need someone to vent to that, I promise you. Even models need to vent, right?"The way he talks like an open book strikes everything in me, like a guitarist plucking the strings before a show. The chords have been struck, and my emotions are awry. My eyes turn red thinking about my news, the truth that I might have thyroid cancer at eighteen. Arlo pulls out his camera and takes my picture."Why did you take my photo? I look terrible. I'd ask you to delete it, but it needs to get developed.""No, you look real. You show real emotions, and you might thank me later, depending on how this project goes. I meant what I said, model girl, you can vent to me anytime you want. You clearly have something bothering you."I whip the tears away and fix my make-up."Thanks, Arlo. I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me. And please don't call me model girl, my name is...""Emma, your name is Emma. I know." He says while grabbing my hand under the table. My face blushes instantly, and I squeeze his hand back. The bell rings, and no one else knows what's going on. Arlo whispers something in my ear after the last student leaves."You're cute when you blush."My face gets redder, and my heart flutters get bigger. Arlo's dimple gets wider. Finally, I let go of his hand, and my reaction tells me the truth that I am attracted to Arlo Finch.Somehow I need to do a project with the gorgeous boy with the left dimple on his cheek and pretend to be the perfect girlfriend at the same time. This is a rough start to my senior year, and my Model Perfect career depends on me staying with Hunter Bates. Boys like Arlo Finch are not in the cards for me, no matter how hot he is.Today is the day of my surgery. I am not scared anymore because all of them are beside me. They helped me have something to look forward to. We all have a bright future ahead of us. Nurse Waters is right if I get this surgery over and done with I can go on to live the best years of my life. Being starving is not my favorite part. I understand why I need to fast before surgery. But despite their reasoning it still sucks, I could go for some hash browns right about now. Freddie picks me up for surgery. My mother is with us. She has been working a lot lately, but not today. Today I am her little girl getting surgery. She holds my hand the entire car ride and sits with me in the waiting room. They have me fill out paper work and hand Freddie a buzzer like they do at restaurants when your table is ready. The buzzer goes off thirty minutes later. Arlo runs into the waiting room with a bouquet of roses. "I am going back with you. I will never leave you." I kiss Arlo. I smell the roses an
Hospitals... I've been thinking of nothing else for the past week. Hospitals are covered in many layers of floors with busy nurses, humming janitors, crying babies, and focused doctors. I haven't been in a hospital since the day my grandma parted this world. She left us behind when the lung cancer took her up above to be with my grandpa. I've been watching YouTube videos of thyroid surgeries being performed. The videos aren't helping and have made me even more anxious for my procedure to be over with. Another torture that hospitals bless their patients with is the unknown, I'm expected to starve myself for years prior to my surgery okay more like hours, but still. Then I am expected to call the day before to find out my arrival time just to check into the hospital. The anxiety levels from hearing this and reading this make my nostrils flare. My tension migraines have returned in the temples of my head.Everyone has told me to slow down and take it easy. But that's just not possible f
Hunter Bates, the lead singer of Aftershock, has been taken into custody. He snuck into Emma Rhodes' house and began choking her. He is being charged with attempted murder. There are other models from Model Perfect coming forward with accusations against Hunter Bates. The police have opened up several investigations into the private life of Hunter Bates, who will soon be facing many years in person. I turn the television off. It's nice to hear the journalists tell the truth for once. For once my story has been turned around for a positive outcome. The part with Hunter Bates in it can end, and I can face the surgery with an open mind. The day Hunter attempted to kill me, his weight was around my neck. Since the moment he grabbed my tumor and started to squeeze, I have desperately wanted to get this tumor out. The pressure he placed against it, burns within my trachea. It's been harder to swallow since then and challenging to talk. I've been avoiding talking since the vibrations in
The Winter Paris Competition is over and I can finally relax. With Tanya Pennington named the winner, I can finish out the remainder of my Model Perfect contract and be away from the spotlight. All eyes are on Tanya Pennington and her girlfriend, Lucia Perez. Tanya is the first lesbian to become a model girl winner for Model Perfect. All social media platforms are buzzing with the news. As for me, I am glad it's all turning out the way it needs to. Freddie drops me off at my house. The exhaustion from today is written all over my face. "I'm glad you didn't throw the competition. You could have. You almost did. What made you return to my office that day?" "Tanya did. She wanted to win against me fair and square and she did. Now that that's over and done with, what does Model Perfect want from me. The CEO and everyone else on staff knows about my thyroid surgery now. Can I finish out the remainder of my contract?" Freddie smiles from head to toe. He gives me a large nod. "Yes,
The Winter Paris Collection Competition is back on, and Freddie is letting me compete. I re-read my contract, and it turns out I have six months left to go until it gets renewed. I am not sure I am looking for renewal at this time, or ever. Given their track record with me, I need to find a new career or new modeling agency that is willing to take me on. Rosa spent the night at my house, Freddie got her approved to model for the day. Rosa, Tanya, and I are all going to be sporting slutty Christmas dresses and Santa hats. It’s the time of the year when models get perks for modeling during the wondrous Christmas season. “Emma, Freddie told me what happened. Did you really try to quit being a model at Model Perfect? Listen it isn't up to me, but I think you should stay until graduation." "Don't worry. I will be staying for a little while longer. But the truth is I need to quit and get this surgery taken care of. Even Tanya Pennington knows about it now." Rosa chokes on her morning
As I storm out of Freddie’s office, golden locks of white hair flip in my face, Tanya Pennington startles me. I haven’t seen or heard from her since the night of Jeremiah’s house party. That’s not to say I haven’t been keeping my tabs on her, I have. I have been stalking her social media platforms in search of anything she might have used against me. But I have also been digging to find out if Hunter’s claims on Halloween night have any merit. Which so far it appears that they don’t Tanya smiles at me, like she is about to say something crass as her smile twists into the edges of her perfectly high cheek bones. That’s the thing about Tanya, if anyone were to be stalking her she would look good no matter what. Her make-up is rumored to be tattooed to her face. That’s what her followers brag about her eyeliner anyway. “I overheard what you said to Freddie, are you sure you want to quit? You’d practically be handing your job over to me…You give up to easily you know that? What fun is i