Chapter 9

Samael’s POV

The dinner went well as Ella kept talking with me, Caroline and Peter. Peter seemed like the serious guy at first to me but with Ella, he was joking and smiling around. Caroline was silent most of the dinner as she made few conversations with Ella, but nothing more. After we had our dinner, everyone went to their rooms and Caroline dint spare me another glance.

“I am going to take a bath, I am tired,” Ella said as she searched for her clothes.

“Okay” I replied and I went to stand on the balcony of our room after I heard the bathroom door close. I took a deep breath as I remembered what happened in the elevator with Caroline a few hours ago.

It was the first time we were standing so close to each other I was able to feel her body’s warmth while she stood in front of me. When she turned and looked at me, I was so lost in her blue eyes that I forgot to breathe. They looked different up close that was more beautiful than before. So many emotions swirling in her eyes which unfortunately I was not able to pick, because I was busy looking at her beauty and calming my heart at the same time.

She is beautiful, no doubt in that. She is strong, persistent, strongly opinionated, a little conserved, and most importantly she is real. I don’t know what are these feelings that I am feeling for her and it scars me. I have never let any girl come close to me as I was busy in my own life, with my problems so much that I didn’t have time for anything else.

I took my phone out and saw a picture Ella convinced Caroline to click with her, while we were having our dinner. The picture is cute as they both are sitting on the chair side by side with sweet smiles on their faces. I brushed my thumb on Caroline’s face with a soft smile on my face but gulped and kept my phone on the table nearby in the next second.

Looking at the traffic on the streets I tried to divert my mind somewhere else. She is my boss, what am I doing? I cannot feel anything different for her. I signed and went inside to see Ella walk out of the bathroom.

“Come on, it’s your bedtime, Ella,” I said and closed the balcony door behind me with the curtains.

“What? No, Sama! Come on I want to watch a movie.” She tried to convince me with sad expressions but I was not buying that. I rolled my eyes at her before walking towards her.

“We will watch a movie tomorrow or something. Now, to the bed!” I said and she started running around but I caught her after a few minutes of running behind to catch her. Her laughs echoed in the room before it became silent as we got comfortable on the bed, switching off the lights ready to sleep.

I walked into the darkroom as silence surrounded me. There was a photo on the bedside table of a young and beautiful woman. She had long brown hair and hazel eyes which mirrored mine but her eyes held shine and happiness in them, while mine was empty and sad.

I took the photo frame in my hands and my eyes watered when I read the name written on the frame. ‘Hazel Wright’ it said and my lips quivered as I silently sobbed. She was my mother I hugged her picture tight and cried my heart out. Maybe in the wish that she could hear me and come save me from my life here.

‘Why mom? Why did you leave me? I miss you and I wish you would have been here with me. My life would have been a lot different.’ I thought as I sank to my knees on the wooden floor. Still holding her picture to my heart while crying for her, for myself, and because I was feeling a lot of pain.  

“Samael!” his voice boomed as soon as he entered the room with the bang of the door hitting the wall behind. I started shaking with fear before turning around and facing the monster who was my father.

His gaze fell on the photo frame I was holding and he snatched it from me, while I cried silently as I know if I cried loudly, he would punish me. And I didn’t want to get punished, my body was already hurting everywhere.

His expressions changed from frustrated one to sad, as he kept staring at the photo. The look in his eyes was only for her, he doesn’t look at anyone like that. A whimper escaped my mouth and his eyes shifted to me.

“You are the reason! You are the reason she is not with me today! I hate you so much, I wish it was you who died that night and not her.” He shouted and I started to sob badly as my body jerked now and then because of the intensity I was crying with.

“You are not worthy of anything, kid! I am going to show exactly what you are worthy of.” He said with a dark look in his eyes and a sinister smile forming on his lips.

“No! no, no, please. I am sorry! Please, no!” I shouted but he dragged me to the basement and closed the door, giving me no choice but to accept what it was to give me. He took out his belt as I crawled against the wall in the corner with uncontrollable sobs escaping my mouth.

“Stop crying! You deserve this, do you understand!” he shouted and raised his belt to hit me.

‘Splash’

I got up breathing heavily as I took in my surrounding. I was in the hotel room it was dark and Ella was sleeping beside me. I signed and realized I was crying, so rubbing both of my palms on my face I got out of the bed.

It’s been so many years, but my past doesn’t seem to leave me alone. I can still feel the pain I felt years ago, I can still hear his obnoxious voice shouting at me. I sighed and drank water to calm my nerves.

Every time I have a nightmare, I go for a walk to clear my head and come to my normal state of mind. I looked at Ella who was sleeping calmly so I decided to take a walk around the hotel and come back to the room. Thinking Ella will be still sleeping when I come back, I didn’t leave any note.