第8章

My chest felt like it had been slammed by a giant rock, so tight I could barely breathe.

But strangely, it didn't hurt with that tearing, heart-wrenching pain like before.

I closed my eyes and took a long, slow breath.

When I opened them again, all the turmoil in my eyes had calmed.

I hitched the small bag on my shoulder, the one holding all my belongings, a little higher, then raised my hand and gently pushed open the heavy fur curtain.

The Beta wolves, supporting an almost-collapsing Damien, came out of the cave.

When they saw me, their faces showed a mix of embarrassment and pity.

After a few brief pleasantries, they clumsily helped get the dead-drunk Damien onto the back of my gentle moon-deer mount.

Then, they bowed to me and quickly left.

I silently led the moon-deer, carrying the unconscious Damien, slowly towards the Alpha's cave.

Along the way, the moonlight was bright, the night wind cool.

Only Damien's intermittent mumbles echoed in the quiet night sky.

"Lyra... Lyra... My Lyra..."

Finally, we reached the Alpha's cave, a place that once filled me with longing, but now only held despair.

It took all my strength to get him off the moon-deer and onto the huge stone bed in the center of the cave.

He was so incredibly drunk, his body as heavy as a rock. The moment he touched the bed, he couldn't hold himself up anymore, collapsing downwards and pulling me down with him.

Then, like an octopus, he wrapped his arms tightly around me, his aggressive male scent instantly enveloping me.

His face was buried in the crook of my neck, his hot breath on my skin sending unsettling shivers down my spine.

Like a child who’d done something wrong, he kept calling Lyra's name in that deeply affectionate tone.

"Lyra, my precious Lyra. Don't be angry with me, I know I was wrong. I shouldn't have drunk so much, shouldn't have let them see me so vulnerable. But... but I really feel awful. I think about you every day. I crave to hold you, to possess you fiercely, every single moment. Lyra, don't leave me..."

His arms tightened, almost crushing my bones.

I tried to break free from his suffocating embrace, my voice carrying a stubbornness I hadn't even realized I possessed.

"Look clearly! I'm not your Lyra!"

Damien seemed startled by my voice. He slowly opened his eyes, which were hazy from alcohol, and stared at me for a long time.

Then his eyes suddenly became unusually bright. He tightened his grip, pressing me closer to his scorching chest, full of an undeniable dominance.

"I know you're my Lyra... I know you're angry with me. Because I... because I let that Selena... take the place that should have been yours..."

His lips, hot and smelling strongly of alcohol, rained down frantic, tiny kisses on my sensitive neck, earlobe, and cheek.

"I'm really not Lyra!" My voice trembled as I screamed.

But Damien seemed not to hear me at all. He gently stroked my hair.

Then, he pulled out that communication crystal, glowing with a faint bloody light, from his pouch, held it up in front of me, his tone proud, like a child eagerly showing his most precious treasure to his beloved.

"My little moon, don't be angry. Look at the surprise I prepared for you. This is a one-of-a-kind Luna gown I designed myself. It's made from the rarest starlight flower petals, which only bloom on the night of the full moon, and the tail feathers of the legendary ice phoenix. And this claw ring, it's set with the purest blood soul stone, representing eternity and loyalty."

"I've been preparing all this for you since the day we first met under the moonlight. Every time I see you, I imagine what you'd look like wearing this gown, becoming my Luna, standing by my side, receiving the worship of all the packs. When I put this claw ring on your finger, would you cry tears of joy, just like now..."

Looking at that incredibly ornate, dark red gown and that strangely shaped claw ring, I suddenly felt overwhelmingly sick.

It took all my strength to argue back, my voice choked with tears.

"You... you love her so much... then... then what am I, Selena... what am I?"

"Selena?" Damien seemed annoyed by my question. He frowned, as if talking about an object that could be casually discarded. "Her? She's nothing."

"If it weren't for the Moon Goddess's ridiculous joke... if it weren't for you, my Lyra, needing me to accept her, I wouldn't even have given her a second glance!"

After saying that, he seemed to have exhausted all his energy from the alcohol. He held me tightly, buried his face deep in my chest, and over and over again, with a heartbreaking tenderness, he kept murmuring.

"Lyra... My Lyra... I love you... I only love you..."

"Lyra... I miss you so much... I want... I want you right now..."

His body, hot and hard as iron from suppressed desire.

His hands also began to wander, roughly and urgently trying to tear off the thin layer of clothing on my body.

I laughed.

Laughed until tears streamed down my face.

So, in his heart, I wasn't even a replacement.

I was just a joke, nothing at all.

Until the first ray of dawn peeked through the cracks in the cave, illuminating the absurdity of the room.

Damien finally, from drunkenness and exhaustion, fell into a deep sleep. His even breaths rose and fell in his solid chest.

I lay perfectly still, letting him hold me tight.

I looked at him for a long time.

His handsome, almost perfect sleeping face now looked a bit pale from the hangover.

After a while, I carefully slipped out of his embrace.

Then I leaned down and placed the Moonstone, which had long since completed the severing ritual, by his pillow.

Damien, in his sleep, seemed to sense my departure.

His thick eyelashes fluttered slightly, but he didn't open his eyes, just unconsciously mumbled,

"Selena... don't go... get me... some sobering... spring water..."

This was the first time he’d called my name in his sleep.

It was also the last thing he ever said to me.

This time, I didn't humbly reply "Okay" like I used to.

Instead, I slowly stood up straight and took one last, long look at the man I had loved for seven years.

I turned and left with my baggage, without looking back.

I had no lingering attachment to this pack full of deceit and betrayal.

I walked out of the Alpha's cave, out of the Blood Moon Pack's territory.

With the last of my savings, I traded for a travel token to a distant southern human city at the border market.

They said it was spring there all year round.

Sitting in the merchant caravan's wagon, I watched the familiar forest and mountains behind me rapidly recede in the dawn light, eventually disappearing beyond the horizon.

I took out the communication crystal I’d always kept close to me and completely deleted all mental link imprints of Damien and Lyra.

When the wagon stopped before the ancient city gates of the southern city, the first ray of morning sun, warm and brilliant, fell upon me, dispelling all the gloom and cold.

I tilted my head up, took a deep breath of air filled with the scent of flowers and freedom, and took one last look in the direction I’d come from.

Goodbye, northern snow and ice.

Goodbye, Blood Moon Pack.

Goodbye, Damien.

From now on, I, Selena, will live for myself.