Feels

Tony

I called Matt on the way to the office to close out my contract with Olivia. He was thrilled to hear about the service, but he said he couldn’t do what I do. He said he would find himself becoming attached to someone. 

“Besides, I think I’m already stuck on the person I’m seeing.” Matt admitted. 

“Ah, I see. You sure it’s not just the sex?” I pushed the button for the office floor in the elevator.

“I thought it was at first,” he chuckled. “Only because I figured she wasn’t serious. I’m still not positive.”

“You’re not positive? Don’t you think you need to know what the expectations are before you admit you’re falling in love? That’s being vulnerable as fuck, Dude.” I shook my head, luckily no one was in the elevator to hear me.

“Who said I’m admitting anything before anyone?” He cleared up. “I haven’t admitted anything yet. I need to find out how serious she is. I’m just saying, I need to find out before I get in too deep.”

“I agree.” I nodded. “I’m about to do the same thing. I need to step back a bit from this particular contract. She’s intoxicating but I can see myself falling for her, easily.” I admitted just as the doors to the elevator opened. 

“This is the first time I've ever taken a step back from getting close to someone.” Matt was seriously thinking about this woman. I feel he really cares for her. 

“Listen dude, just slow it down. Take a breather, still communicate but give yourself some time to think about where either of you want it to go.” I stepped into the lobby of the office. 

“The same goes for you. I know you’re going through the same shit, Buddy. We need to focus on our business for a while since we have the money to get it running.” Matt uttered. He was right, that was the best focus the both of us needed. 

“I agree. Why don’t you come to my place tomorrow and we can go over the business?” I offered walking over to the receptionist desk. The clerk behind the desk smiled and winked at me as I handed her the file. I gave her a thumbs up and looked at my watch. It read 2:45 pm. I had enough time to hit the gym and relax for the rest of the day at home. 

“Sure, that sounds like a plan. Are you off all day tomorrow?”

“Yep. I’m gonna take a few days off at least.” I answered. 

“Cool. I’ll call you later to tell you when I’ll come by tomorrow.”  Matt disconnected and I turned my focus to the clerk. 

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay Tony,” she smiled at me and typed on the keyboard. “Okay, your payment should hit shortly.”  Suddenly, my phone buzzed giving me the notification. “Oh,” she quipped. 

“What? Don’t tell me the client requested me again?”

“No, that’s not it. It seems as though you have a contract though.”

“Really? What type of contract?”

“Level 1.”  I exhaled. Level 1 meant it was only a business companion or possibly a meal date.

“Oh ok. When?” She pulled the file and handed it to me. “It looks like it will be for Wednesday.” She answered after typing a bit more on the computer. “Do you accept?”

I opened the file. It was something simple. It was a business meeting and lunch. About 5 hours total. “Yes. Can you make sure I am unavailable for the next two days. I’m taking some time off.” 

“I completely understand. You have been busy.” She smiled as she typed away processing the new contract. 

“Yeah. I’m taking the next two days of rest.” I tapped on the counter top waiting for her to assign the contract and send me the details electronically. 

“Well, enjoy. Sign, please.” She said pointing at the signature machine to sign and accept the contract. 

“Thanks much!”  I took the file and headed home. 

I know Olivia may have wanted to extend her contract. I didn’t want her to spend her money just to see me. I’m sure I could make arrangements outside of work to see her. But the idea at the moment for me is to step back and take a breather. I just feel the need to slow things down a bit. Olivia was eager to ask me about having a longer contract, I just don’t want to be assigned to a project that could go wrong. 

I got home and decided to order food and have it delivered as I had no urge to cook. My order of chinese food came quickly just as my mother decided to give me a call. 

“Hi Mom, how’s it going?”  I answered while I closed the door from getting my delivery. 

“I’m doing well, Honey. How are you? Are you eating?” She always asks if I’m eating and I’ve been on my own for quite some time. 

“Yes, as a matter of fact I just received my delivery order.” I sat down on the couch with the television playing low in the background. I started unpacking my many containers until the bag was empty. 

“Oh fabulous. I was just checking in on you to see how you were doing.” 

“I’m doing well. Has Matt been by to check on you for me?”

“Yes! He came by the other day when Olivia came crying over here.”  My Mom said nonchalantly . 

Crying?  Did she say crying?

“She was crying?  Why? What happened?” I was more concerned than I let on to my mother, but I needed to find out why Olivia was crying.

“Oh, she walked in on Richard having a threesome.”

“Oh Shit!” I yelped. I stopped opening my container momentarily. 

“Yeah, she was devastated at first. You know, she knew he was doing some shit, but you never really know until you have the proof, ya know?” I loved the way my mother was so open when talking to me. I was always a little bit ahead of the game because of her. 

“And she walked right into her proof, huh?”  

“She sure as hell did! But she’s alright now.”

“Is she?” I asked, stabbing a piece of sweet and sour chicken and loading up a forkful of fried rice, stuffing it into my mouth. “Is she really okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. I got her talking about her weekend with some guy she met from the service I went to before.”

“Oh ok.” I chuckled, almost choking on my full mouth of food. “Mmm-hmmm, how’d that go for her?.”

“Yes. She was going on and on about how she was completely satisfied and she really enjoyed herself. This guy really did a number on her. She was glowing, she had a smile as long as the Nile River.”

I smiled hearing Olivia had a great time with me. Even though I was getting the feedback from my Mom without her knowing. I felt bad for Olivia having to walk in on her husband cheating, but I’m glad I was able to take her mind off of her issues. I wanted to call and check in on her but I didn’t want to bring up any feelings that she hasn’t let go of just yet with her husband. 

“Oh, well it sounds like she had a great time.”  I scarfed down another forkful of food. 

“Yeah, she did. By the time she left she was smiling.” My mother said. I heard the doorbell ring in the background. 

“That might be her.” I said as I chomped my food while I heard her answer the door. 

“No, it’s not her. But Tony, I have someone here. I just called to see if you are okay.”

“I’m good, Mom. Go ahead, I’ll talk to you later.” I hung up the phone.  

I sat on the couch, the television still playing in the background, looking down at my phone. I went to my text messages and opened a new one to send to Olivia. 

[Tony]  Wassup.

Delete.

[Tony] Are you okay?

Delete. I thought, what if she didn’t want my mother to say anything to anyone?  My mother is very social, but she is most definitely loyal. 

[Tony] Hey Beautiful  😚

Send. 

I placed my phone on the table, grabbed my largest dish and turned up the volume on the television. I wanted her to come to me when she was ready. She was probably going through a lot of emotions and doesn’t know how to decipher what is real and what isn’t. I was having that same issue. I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was love or lust. It was easy to have a lustful desire for Olivia, she was an amazing woman sexually. But she pulled me in deeper than that, deeper than I expected. I wasn’t prepared. 

I had eaten as much as I was going to at the moment and placed the others in the fridge for leftovers. I sat back on the couch and pulled out the contract file from my messenger bag. I opened the file and it was a woman who needed a companion to a marketing seminar as she was very unfamiliar with marketing and she was just launching her own product. She made her money quickly by being an influencer offering beauty tips along with make-up videos and money saving hints. 

She now wanted to market her selection of money saving wallets, each wallet is fully decorated and set up to help the consumer stay on budget and save money. It was a good plan but she needed someone to help her understand all the legal jargon when it came to marketing her brand.  The client was adorable; her name was Kenya Fields. From her photo she looked like a medical lab staff member, wearing glasses, a cute smile and curly hair. This would be an easy contract adding five hundred dollars to my bank account.  I placed the file on the table and grabbed my laptop to go over the details of our business. 

I was happy we were now able to go live and start our business. This job gave me the opportunity to do so. I enjoyed having the flexibility to do other things in my life. I don’t think I’ll have this freedom again therefore, I might as well take advantage of the situation while I can because I know it’s not going to last forever. 

After taking notes and getting ready for my meeting with Matt tomorrow, I received a text message notification. I glanced at my phone, it was Olivia responding. 

[Olivia] Hello Handsome 😘

[Tony] How are you?

[Olivia] Doing better. Did your mom tell you?

[Tony] She did. Are you okay?  I didn’t expect her to go into detail. 

[Olivia] I will be. Thanks for checking in on me. 

[Tony] No problem. 

[Olivia] I’ll talk to you later. 😘

[Tony] Later. 

And just like that, Olivia was gone. Leaving me hesitant to move forward on shaky ground not knowing if our relationship would last forever, if at all.  This was a perfect time for me to take a step back allowing us both to get our heads on straight to move forward.