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XIV. Dumbasses

Author: Boring Banana
last update Last Updated: 2021-10-05 13:08:15

       

Tapos na yung exam at Christmas break na. Everyone is busy while I'm stuck here in the house cleaning alone. Mom and Dad are nowhere to be found. Darating ngayon yung mga pinsan ko from Cebu at dito sila magse-celebrate ng pasko. Busy din yung lima dahil may mga bisita din sila kaya di ko alam kung makikita ko sila.

It's been a week since the concert pero halos mabaliw pa rin ako kapag naaalala ko. Tuwang-tuwa nga sina Mama nung naikwento sa kanila ng madaldal na si Alvie yung nangyare sa concert. Alam na pala nila yng plano ni Glenn at ako lang talaga yung walang malay sa nangyayari.

Sobrang sweet at thoughtful ni Glenn to the point na pati si mama eh kinikilig sa kanya. Halos dito na nga siya tumira last week eh. He called me last night that he won't be able to see me because he will be visiting his parents in States and will be spending Christmas with them. Babalik nalang daw siya before new year para makapag-celebrate kami ng magkasama.

I heard the doorbell rings so I run outside to open the gate. Ni hindi pa man ako tapos maglinis eh nandito na sila. Kuya Ron, his wife ate Mitch, Kaleb, Corrin, and Matt are here. Di pa man sila nakakababa ng van eh halos magiba na yung bahay sa ingay nila. Agad nila akong sinunggaban ng yakap pagbaba nila kaya muntik na akong mapahiga sa damuhan.

"Like, what the heck, Sol! Uso maligo. Ang baho mo." Sabay takip pa ng ilong ni Kaleb kaya sinamaan ko sila ng tingin.

"Kapal ng mukha mo. Baka sarili mo naamoy mo. Sakto, here. Magwalis ka naman. Pagod na ako." Sabay abot ko sa kanya nung walis.

Magrereklamo pa sana sya pero iniwan ko na sya dun ng nakatayo. Kanya-kanya sila ng hakot ng gamit nila sa loob habang dumiretso naman ako sa kusina para maghanda ng pagkain nila. Sinundan ako ni ate Mitch at Corrin habang busy naman yung mga lalake sa pag aayos ng mga gamit nila. Ate Mitch is already 23 habang magkasing-edad naman kami ni Corrin.

Inaayos namin yung lunch nung biglang sumigaw ni Matt mula sa sala kaya napahinto kaming tatlo.

"HOY SOL! NASA SELEPONO YUNG KASINTAHAN MO!" sabay hagis pa nya ng phone ko sa akin kaya kamuntik bumagsak sa tiles. Sakalin ko na 'to makita nya. Kapag nagkaroon ka nga naman ng mga kamag-anak na baliw, ang sarap lang pumaslang.

Lumabas ako para makausap si Glenn dahil maingay sina Matt sa loob. Nakasimangot sya habang nakahiga sa kama nya.

"What's with the face?" I asked him but he glared at me as an answer kaya napataas yung kilay ko. Inaano ko na naman sya? Bakit ba puro abnormal nakakausap ko ngayong araw? Wala na ba akong makakausap ng matino?

"Bakit madaming bakulaw dyan?" inis na tanong nya.

"Bakulaw? Dito? Wala ka naman so paanong nagkaroon ng bakulaw dito?" biro ko pero lalong nalukot yung mukha nya. Kung nandito lang siguro sya, malamang nasapak na nya ako.

"Sino yung sumagot ng tawag ko kanina?" di ko makita yung mukha nya pero alam kong seryoso yung boses nya.

"Pinsan ko. Dami mong alam. Jealous much, huh?" sabay tawa ko pa ng nakakaloko.

I heard someone knocking on his door kaya inis syaang tumayo tsaka binuksan yung pinto. May batang lumapit sa laptop nya tsaka tinututok yung buong mukha nya sa screen. Tinulak naman ni Phoenix yung mukha nya tsaka sya pinaalis pero ang kulit lang nila dahil kinagat sya nung bata sa kamay kaya nagsisigaw siya.

"Darn it, you little brat! Get out of here! You sadist, I'm gonna rip your face—" sigaw ni Nix pero binato lang siya ng unan nung bata.

"I don't want to. You get out if you want. I'm going to sleep here. Goodnight, ugly creature!" sabay dive nung bata sa kama.

Wala namang nagawa si Glenn kundi magkamot ng ulo. He scratched his head in frustration tsaka binato sa bata yung hawak nyang unan pero binato ulit sa kanya pabalik. I heard him curse kaya natawa nalang ako.

"Tawa ka diyan. Pagbuhulin ko kayo eh." Inis na sabi nya.

"Luh. Sino yun? Kapatid mo?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Hindi. Pulubi lang yu—"

"Yah! I'm not a beggar. You, dope!" the kid cut him off.

"Matulog ka na nga! Bwisit ka talaga." Sigaw nya dun sa bata.

"What is 'bwisit'?" tanong ulit sa kanya nung bata.

"Nothing. That means you're handsome." Sagot niya kaya nanlaki yung mata ko.

"Ah. Yeah right. I'm really bwisit." Proud na sabi nung bata.

"Yeah, whatever. Matulog ka ng bwisit kang bata ka." Sabi ni Glenn.

"Hi ate! Bwisit din si kuya ko no?" pahabol na sabi nung bata kaya di ko na napigilan yung tawa ko.

Tumayo si Nix tsaka binalot ng kumot yung bata tsaka nya dianagan ng mga unan.

"Yan. Kalokohan mo kasi. Nakakarma ka sa ginagawa mo eh." Sabi ko kaya natawa nalang din sya.

Matagal din kaming nag usap bago nya patayin kasi late na doon at kailangan na nilang matulog. So, he has a younger brother named Ace Jacob. Akala ko kasi mag isa lang siya. Just to find out na parang Xerox copy pa nya yung kapatid niya. Nakasilip naman sa may pinto sina Matt at Kaleb nung mapatingin ako sa likod ko.

Maya-maya pa dumating na din si Mama. She's talking to ate Mitch, kuya Ron and Korrin habang naiwan naman kaming tatlo sa sala habang nanonood ng kung ano sa TV. Pinagitnaan ako nung dalawang mentally challenged kong mga pinsan tsaka ako inakbayan.

"Boypren mo yun?" tanong ni Matt.

"Pake mo?" sagot ko.

"Bakit di mo pinaalam sa amin nung nanliligaw sayo?" tanong naman ni Kaleb.

Di ko sila pinansin. Nilipat ko sa myx yung panood. Sakto namang Russian Roulette ng Red Velvet yung nagpe-play.

"Matalino ba?" hirit ni Matt.

"Mayaman ba? Baka naman niloloko ka lang nIyan." Pahabol pa ni Kaleb.

Di ako makapag-focus sa pinapanood ko dahil sa ingay nila kaya tumayo ako pero hinila nila ako pabalik sa kinauupuan ko.

"Teka, ‘di pa tayo tapos mag-usap!" sabi ni Matt.

"Tae naman mga unggoy! Sina mama at papa nga waalang tinanong tapos kayo dinaig niyo pa yung SOCO at Imbestigador! Oo na! baka pag nakita niyo yun mabakla pa kayo kaya tigilan niyo ako." Irita kong sagot sa kanila.

"Siguraduhin mo langg dahil babantayan ka namin." Seryosong sabi ni Kaleb.

"As if, Dude. Uuwi din kayo ng Cebu after Christmas so why bother?"  sagot ko sa kanila.

"Sinong nagsabing uuwi kami ni Kaleb? We're going to stay here with you. Busy sina tita so kami ang magbabantay sayo." Sabay ngiti pa ng nakakaloko ni Matt.

What the heck? Seriously? Are they kidding me? Living with these two dumbasses is no joke!

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