Chapter 22

My Cheating Mate

Emma pov

The words on the page blurred together for the third time in as many minutes. I wasn't really reading anymore—just staring at the same paragraph, my mind replaying the same circular thoughts I'd been having for weeks.

I love him.

He hurt me.

I love him.

He betrayed me.

I love him.

But is love enough?

Jeremy shifted in his sleep, a small sound of discomfort escaping his lips. Without thinking, I reached over and adjusted his pillow, smoothing the blanket across his chest. His face relaxed, the lines of pain easing.

This was becoming routine. Natural. Like the six months we'd been mated before everything fell apart, except different. More conscious. Every touch, every gesture was a choice I was actively making rather than an instinct I was following.

And that terrified me.

Because choosing to care for him meant choosing to be vulnerable again. Choosing to risk the same devastation I'd barely survived the first time.

My phone buzzed. A text from Aria: "Coffee break? You've been in that hospital room for 6 hours."

Had it been six hours? I glanced at the clock. She was right.

"Can't. He's supposed to wake up soon for physical therapy," I typed back.

"Em, the nurses can handle that. You don't have to be there for everything."

But I did. Or at least, I felt like I did. Every time I tried to leave, every time I considered taking a day away, I remembered the panic in Jeremy's eyes when he woke and didn't immediately see me.

I remembered my own panic when I'd thought he might die.

"I know. Tomorrow, I promise."

I set the phone down and looked at Jeremy—really looked at him. Five days of consciousness, and he already looked better. Color returning to his face. The monitors showing stronger vitals. Dr. Reeves was optimistic about moving him out of ICU by the end of the week.

He was healing. Physically, at least.

But what about everything else? What about the betrayal that still sat like a stone in my chest? What about the image of him with Vanessa that I couldn't quite erase from my mind?

What about the fact that even after three months of separation, even after dissolving our bond, I'd still thrown myself in front of a silver blade for him?

"You're thinking too loud," Jeremy's voice, rough with sleep, startled me. His eyes were open, watching me with that intense focus that made me feel exposed.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked, setting my book aside.

"Few minutes. You looked so lost in thought, I didn't want to interrupt." He shifted, trying to sit up more, and winced. "Can you—"

I was already moving, adjusting the bed controls to raise him to a better angle. "Better?"

"Yeah. Thanks." His hand found mine, thumb brushing across my knuckles. "Emma, we should talk. Really talk. Not just me waking up and asking if you're still here."

My stomach twisted. "You need to focus on healing—"

"I need to focus on us." His grip tightened slightly. "Because you're here, holding my hand, caring for me. But I can see it in your eyes—the doubt, the fear, the hurt. And I need you to know that I understand. That I don't expect you to just forget what I did."

"I can't forget," I said quietly. "I've tried. But every time I close my eyes, I see you with her. I hear your voice saying you never loved me. I remember planning to use me and throw me away."

Jeremy flinched like I'd hit him. "I know. And I have no excuse for any of it. No justification that makes it acceptable."

"Then why?" The question burst out before I could stop it. "Why did you do it? If you knew it was wrong, if you knew it would hurt me, why?"

He was quiet for a long moment, his eyes distant. "Because I was selfish. Because I'd spent my whole life planning a future with Vanessa, and when the mate bond chose you instead, I felt... robbed. Like the Moon Goddess had taken away my choice."

Each word was a fresh cut, but I'd asked for honesty. I couldn't flinch from it now.

"So you punished me for it," I said. "For being chosen when you wanted someone else."

"Yes." The admission came out as barely a whisper. "And that's unforgivable, Emma. I took out my resentment on someone who'd done nothing wrong. Someone who was just trying to love me."

Tears stung my eyes. "I did love you. So much. I tried so hard to be the perfect mate, to make you happy, to be enough—"

"You were always enough!" Jeremy's voice cracked with emotion. "Emma, you were everything. Kind, patient, supportive, beautiful. Everything a mate should be. The problem was never you. It was me. I was too stupid and stubborn to see what I had until I'd destroyed it."

"And Vanessa?" I had to know. "Do you still have feelings for her?"

"No." His answer was immediate, certain. "What I felt for Vanessa—it wasn't love. It was familiarity. Comfort. A fantasy I'd built up over years that had nothing to do with reality. When she showed her true nature, when she hired rogues to kill you, any remaining feelings I had turned to disgust."

"She destroyed us," I said, the words bitter on my tongue.

"No." Jeremy's hand cupped my face, gentle despite his weakness. "I destroyed us. Vanessa was just the weapon I used. But Emma, I made the choice. I'm the one who cheated, who lied, who planned to use you. All of that was me."

The honesty was brutal. Part of me wanted him to make excuses, to blame Vanessa entirely, to make it easier to forgive him.

But this—this raw accountability—this was what I needed to hear.

"I don't know if I can do this again," I admitted, tears finally spilling over. "I don't know if I can trust you not to hurt me. And I hate that I still love you because it would be so much easier if I didn't."

"I know." He brushed away my tears with his thumb. "And I'm not asking you to trust me. Not yet. Trust is earned, and I need to earn yours back. If you even want to give me that chance."

"I don't know what I want," I confessed. "Part of me wants to run. To protect myself. To never risk this kind of pain again."

"And the other part?"

"The other part wants to believe people can change. That love can survive betrayal. That we could build something new—not what we had before, but something stronger, more honest."

"I want that too," Jeremy said softly. "More than anything. But Emma, I won't pressure you. Won't push. If you need space, if you need time, if you decide you can't forgive me—I'll accept it. Your healing, your happiness, that's what matters."

I studied his face, looking for signs of manipulation or insincerity. But all I saw was genuine remorse. Genuine love.

"I need time," I said finally. "I need to figure out who I am now, separate from you, from us. I need to know I'm staying because I want to, not because the mate bond is pulling me back."

"The bond is dissolved," Jeremy reminded me gently.

"I know. But something still connects us. I need to understand what that is. If it's just trauma bonding, or habit, or actual love worth fighting for."

"Okay." He nodded, though I could see the fear in his eyes—fear that I'd decide he wasn't worth the fight. "Take all the time you need."

"But I'm not leaving," I added quickly. "Not yet. I'll be here while you heal. But Jeremy, when you're better, when you're back to full strength—we need real distance. Real space for me to figure this out."

Pain flashed across his face, but he nodded. "I understand. And Emma? Thank you. For being here now. For giving me even this much. It's more than I deserve."

"Probably," I agreed, a small, sad smile crossing my face. "But apparently I'm a glutton for punishment."

"Or incredibly brave," he said. "My father told me what you did at the pack meeting. That you could have shown that video, destroyed my reputation completely, but you chose mercy instead."

"I didn't do it for you. I did it for the pack."

"I know. But you could have done both—protected the pack and destroyed me. You chose not to." His eyes searched mine. "Why?"

Because destroying you would have destroyed me too, I thought. Because I still loved you even when I hated you. Because somewhere, beneath all the pain and anger, I still hoped we could find our way back to each other.

But I wasn't ready to say any of that out loud.

"Because Vanessa had already won enough," I said instead. "I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of tearing this pack apart from the inside."

It wasn't the whole truth. But it was true enough.

A knock on the door interrupted us. Dr. Reeves entered with a physical therapist.

"Ready to try walking today?" she asked Jeremy with an encouraging smile.

He looked at me. "Will you stay?"

I should say no. Should start creating boundaries, start that distance I'd just told him I needed.

But I found myself nodding anyway. "I'll stay."

Because I wasn't ready to let go yet.

Even though I knew I needed to.

Even though I was terrified of what loving him again might cost me.

I would stay.

For now.

And hope that somehow, eventually, I'd figure out if love really was enough.