The Feelings She Tried To Hide

ARIA

I was sitting in the library, surrounded by textbooks, when suddenly my chest tightened. I dropped my pen while my heart began beating faster. I looked around but there was no sign or anything or anyone. Then my wolf stirred. “It's Kael.” I frowned. "What about him?" I didn't need an answer. I could feel him. I could feel anger. It was sharp and burning. Trust me, It wasn't my anger. It belonged to him. I closed my eyes. "Why can I feel what he's feeling? He hasn't claimed me." I thought pretending Kael Donovan didn't exist would become easier but with the feel of things, seems like I'm wrong.

It was the mate bond and I hated it. I hated how it made Kael's emotions feel like they are mine. I tried returning to my book in order to get over him but five minutes later, I heard footsteps.

He walked into the library with two books in his hand then our eyes met. He stopped as I quickly looked down. He walked toward the opposite side of the room as my wolf practically kept jumping inside me. She has been doing this since the day we met and every other day we come across each other.

Kael sat several tables away but I could no longer concentrate. After a few moments, I looked up and to my expectation, he was already looking at me. I immediately looked away.

This is ridiculous. There are hundreds of students in this college. Why did the universe keep putting him in front of me?

---

By lunchtime, I was convinced the Moon Goddess had a personal grudge against me because I walked into the cafeteria and the first person I spotted was Kael or was it that I was always expecting to see him?

He was sitting at a table but this time, with a lady and sighting them made me stop. My stomach suddenly twisted as I stared at them. Oh, the lady was pretty. Her long hair fell through her ears and the way she flung them behind made her look more elegant. She was laughing at Kael speaking and the way he returned his smile made everything darkened within me. Not to speak of when she reached across the table and touched his hand.

“I don't care!” I snapped within as I threw my face away repeating the words silently. I don't care.

I carefully ignored them and went ahead to join my best friend Lily at another table that was far beyond where they were.

"You're quiet today," she said and I knew my face made her notice.

"I'm tired." I lied, trying to keep every information to myself. I couldn't risk letting Lily know. Every of my plans to pretend Kael never existed would definitely come to an end.

"You've been tired since you arrived." She complained, scanning me.

I smiled. "I'm adjusting."

She shrugged and continued eating while I struggled to focus on my food.

Just then, I felt a feeling of irritation from the mate bond. I looked across the cafeteria only to find his eyes were on me. The girl was talking to him, but from the look of things, he wasn't listening. Of course, the way the mate bond was bothering would be the exact way it bothered him but then, why wouldn't we just reject each other? It wasn't that hard. He has someone, he could just reject me once and for all so we can both know that nothing can ever happen between us.

I looked away as soon as I recovered from my thoughts. Lily was sensitive and I wouldn't like to start answering any questions.

A few minutes later, I felt his emotions change. His irritation disappeared and I felt pains replacing it and my chest suddenly ached as I pressed a hand against it. What was happening? Why would I feel his pain too?

I was forced to look at him again. This time, he was staring down at his phone. His expression was tense. Just immediately, the girl touched his shoulder and I knew instantly that something was definitely going on between them.

My heart twisted at the thought and I hated that I noticed. I hated that his pain affected me. And most of all, I hated that part of me wanted to walk over and ease those pains. I remained seated. I had no right. He wasn't mine. He wouldn't be.

“Accept him.” My wolf echoed inside my head as I walked across campus. “He is your mate.” “No,” I muttered under my breath. “You know you still love him.” “I don’t.” “Then why does your heart race whenever he is near?” I clenched my fists. “Because I’m angry.” My wolf gave an almost amused growl. “You can call it anger if you want.” And I hated how right she sounded.

Kael was my past. A painful past I had spent five years trying to bury. I had Derek now. Yes, my lovely boyfriend I met on campus. Derek loved me. He cared about me. He was the person I had chosen. “We already have Derek,” I whispered firmly, reminding her and myself that I had him. “So stop asking me to accept Kael.” She sighed. “You are only fooling yourself.” I ignored her. At least, I tried to. But things only became harder.

Kael seemed to be everywhere I went. In the library, I would walk around a shelf and suddenly find him sitting at a table. At the cafeteria, I would pick up my tray, turn around, and see him entering. Even in class, our eyes somehow met across the room. And the training field was the worst. He was everywhere and it got to me more as I kept thinking of several ways to be away from him but nothing was working. Maybe leaving campus would be better but I knew clearly that it couldn't be part of my options.

However, I discovered I wasn't hiding my secret well enough when Derek confronted me on the most I least expected.

“You've been distracted lately,” he said as he took his seat beside me, extending a cup of coffee he had brought to my dorm.

I froze at him, gazing at him wanting to hear if he knew anything. “Have I?”

“Yes.” He studied my face. “Especially in class.” My stomach tightened while he continued, “Earlier, I saw you staring at someone. That tall guy in your class. Do you know Kael?”

My heart skipped at his words but I was quick to force a laugh. “Kael? No. He's just another student.” I answered, making sure my words were convincing because I wasn't ready to start explaining things to Derek. I wasn't ready to start managing both him and Derek.

Derek raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

I nodded. “He's just trying to bully me because he's annoyingly brilliant.”

Derek laughed and it somehow calmed me. “So that's the problem?” he asked.

“Exactly.” I laughed with him, hoping he wouldn't see how nervous I was. Thankfully, he didn't question me further.

And the moment he left my dorm, the heart I tried to control began to race. I sat quietly on my bed, staring at the door. I had lied to Derek. And the worst part was that the lie had come too easily. I closed my eyes.

You lied to him, my wolf whispered, softly. I shut my eyes in guilt. “I had to.” I said, reminding myself that I had just done the almost exact same thing I and Kael can no longer be together. Her words broke into my thoughts. “You can lie to him, but you cannot lie to me.” Then she whispered the words I was most afraid to hear. “You still love him.”