69. Consequences and Choices

The air has turned dense, heavy, as if we were trapped in a web of our own making—woven with lies, desires, and fears. I can feel the beat of my heart pounding in my ears as Shadow stands before me, eyes closed, as though wishing he could escape everything that’s about to unfold. I know he’s struggling too, but I can’t fully grasp it.

Why does he keep pulling away?

Why can’t he accept that this—we—is what we want, what we need?

"What do you want from me, Olivia?" he finally asks, his voice a torn whisper, like he’s forcing himself not to shatter. He steps toward me slowly, but each movement is hesitant, as if he can’t decide whether to come closer or flee.

It’s the first time he’s asked me something like this. The first time he’s asked for a clear answer. And deep down, I know there’s no easy one. But something within me screams that if I don’t speak now, if I don’t fight for him with everything I am, I’ll lose him for good.

I step toward him, closing the distance without hesitation, and cradle his face in both hands. My palms brush against the roughness of his cheeks, his lips just inches from mine.

"What I want… what I need… is for you to trust me," I say, my voice trembling but firm.

"Trust that even if we can’t stop what’s coming, we can face it together. Trust that I love you. And that is stronger than anything you try to tell me."

Shadow closes his eyes, and for a moment, I see him on the verge of surrender. Something inside him cracks, his expression softens—but only for a second. Then his eyes open again, and the hardness returns.

"It’s not that simple," he murmurs, finally letting his hands find mine, gently pulling them away.

"What we’re doing… has no future. If you stay with me, Olivia, you’re walking straight into the dark. Into something neither you, nor I, nor anyone can stop."

His words slice through me, like blades piercing every corner of my heart. The idea of losing him, of him truly leaving, devours me. But I can’t give in to despair. I won’t let fear take hold—not after everything we’ve endured, everything we’ve become.

"Then I’ll fight that darkness," I say, a renewed fire in my chest.

"If that’s what you are, what we have to face, then so be it. I’m not afraid of getting lost. I’m only afraid of losing you."

He stares into my eyes, and though his face remains unreadable, I can see the storm behind it. Something is shifting inside him, like he’s waging a war within, torn between stepping forward or stepping back.

"You don’t understand, Olivia," he whispers, his voice lower now, thick with emotion.

"You don’t know what it means to be a lycan. You don’t know what I’m capable of when the beast inside me breaks loose. It’s not just the darkness outside. It’s what I am. What I carry inside."

His confession hits hard, but it doesn’t stop me. Maybe I’m fooling myself, or maybe I’m just a fool. But I won’t let the fear of what he might become be the thing that takes him from me. I want him. And that’s all that matters.

"Let me decide that," I reply, my voice steady, though my heart is close to breaking.

"I’m not going to leave you. No matter what you are, no matter what you do—I will be here. You don’t scare me."

A bitter laugh escapes his lips, and for a moment, it seems like he might unravel. But then he stops, and finally—finally—he looks at me with something that almost resembles hope. Or maybe it’s just my illusion of it. Either way, it’s a flicker of light, and that’s enough to keep me going.

"You’re stronger than I thought," he says softly, and there’s something in his tone that makes me feel there’s more behind those words. Something unspoken. Something that eats away at him, that makes him afraid of what’s to come.

The air between us remains thick, and though our hands are no longer touching, the bond is still there—stronger than ever. Every time he pulls away, I feel him closer. Every time he hides, I feel him deeper. And that won’t change. I won’t let it.

"So, what now?" I ask, not really knowing what to expect. Not knowing if this is the start of something more—or the end.

"We move forward," he replies, and though his voice is steady, I can see in his eyes that he’s as lost as I am. But there’s something else. Something impossible to ignore.

"But… you have to be ready for what’s coming."

My hands tremble as I raise them once more to touch his face. I feel the softness of his skin, the weight of his presence. And I know there’s no turning back. But for the first time in a long while… I don’t want to turn back.

"I will be," I whisper, my lips brushing his in a kiss that’s brief, but full of intensity.

"I will be—because I can’t live without you."

And in that moment, in that kiss, I feel like—for just a fraction of a second—everything is okay. But reality is merciless, and I know this love isn’t just a blessing.

It’s also a curse.

A sacrifice we both must make if we want to survive.

And when the kiss breaks, the darkness seems to wrap around us once more.

But for once, I’m not afraid.