Chapter 3

I stared at Zayn's message, tears streaming down my face.

Mom accidentally brushed against my wound and quickly softened her touch. "Does it hurt? I'll be gentler."

I shook my head, but the tears wouldn't stop.

Zayn texted, "Are you free tomorrow?"

I replied, "Yes."

Just then, Xavier's message popped up. "Meet me at the usual spot at 2:00 pm tomorrow. Don't be late."

We'd planned to go rock climbing the day before yesterday. I was always the quickest to agree and the first to arrive.

I'd buy Xavier his coffee, get his helmet ready, and wait around holding his jacket, sometimes for the whole afternoon.

But this time, I replied, "I'm not going."

He called me almost right away. "Are you still upset about what happened earlier?"

"No, I've got something to do."

He didn't ask what. He just said, "What about the stuff I left at your place? I need it tomorrow."

I looked at the corner, where Xavier's climbing gear sat. After our last climbing session the week before, he'd left me at the club after Yvonne called, so I had no choice but to bring all his stuff home.

After a few seconds, I agreed, "Alright. I'll drop it off."

His tone softened a little. "There you go. Don't overthink it. Get some sleep."

The next day, I went to the club.

Xavier sat on a bench, looking up as Yvonne climbed the wall. When she reached the ground, he caught her with a smile and told her she did great.

I looked up at the wall, my fingers curling without me realizing it.

I'd secretly come here to practice before, hoping I could keep up with Xavier. The first time I was left hanging in midair, I cried the whole time. By the time I got down, both my hands were scraped raw, and I could barely hold my cutlery.

When I finally made it to the top, I sent Xavier a video. He didn't reply until the next day.

"That's it? Yvonne made it up on her first try."

I never watched that video again, but I never deleted it either. At the end, the instructor told me I'd done great to make it to the top despite being so scared. I couldn't bring myself to delete those words.

Yvonne spotted me and walked over. "Riley, do you want to give it a try?"

"Nope, my leg hurts." I shook my head.

"Did you hurt it when you fell yesterday? It's still not better?"

Xavier glanced at my knee. "Why didn't you say anything yesterday?"

I gave a bitter laugh. "Wouldn't that just make it look like I was trying to get sympathy?"

Xavier furrowed his brows. "It was just drunk talk. You're the only one who took it seriously."

He bent down and reached for my knee, but then Yvonne let out a sudden hiss. Xavier immediately straightened up and went to her.

"What happened to your hands?"

"I scraped my hand. It's nothing."

There was a raw spot on her palm, and she'd hurt it again while twisting open a bottle. Xavier hurried to the front desk for some ointment, applied it to her wound, then opened the bottle for her.

I shifted my leg and thought of Zayn as I watched Xavier take care of Yvonne.

If he saw me hurt, would he take care of me like that too?

Xavier noticed my gaze and looked at me. "What are you looking at? Your wound's already been treated. You don't need me to check it, right?"

I laughed softly. "Yeah, no need."

Yvonne slipped her arm around Xavier's. "Don't talk to her like that. You're only going to upset Riley again."

He didn't pull away, and he said in a cold voice, "If I don't act like this, she'll read too much into it. I'm doing this for her own good."

Then Xavier added, "Delete that story. If it gets around our circle, it'll be bad for both of us."

His tone left no room for argument, but I shook my head. "No, I won't delete it. Don't worry. It has nothing to do with you."

Yvonne tightened her hold on his arm and pretended to speak up for me. "Xavier, forget it. She's had a crush on you for so long. She put so much effort into writing it. Of course she doesn't want to delete it."

Then she glanced at his ear stud. "It's just that your ear stud stands out too much. Anyone who knows you would figure out who it's about."

Xavier removed his stud, looking irritated. "So it's because of this?"

He looked me in the eyes and threw it into the trash can beside him. "What about now? Do you still like me?"

I froze.

That wasn't the stud I'd first seen him wear. He'd lost the original one long ago. I went to multiple stores before finally finding one that looked like the one Zayn used to wear.

When I gave it to him, he put it on without a second thought and asked if it looked good.

I said it did, and he chuckled. "This is all it takes to make you happy? You're so easy to please."

I limped over to the trash can. There were half-finished drinks inside, and the stud had fallen all the way to the bottom. I bent down, sweat rolling down my back from the pain in my knee, but still picked it up.

Someone snickered, "She even treats things that Xavier throws away like treasures."

But Xavier didn't laugh along. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet, his voice sharp with anger. "Riley, aren't you disgusted with yourself?"

I ignored him and carefully wiped the stud with a tissue.

That only stoked his fury. He reached for it, but I dodged him.

His hand stopped. After a moment, he said coldly, "Whatever."

I spent a long time cleaning it in the restroom. When I came out, Xavier was on his phone with his back to me.

"Mom, don't be ridiculous. We'd never work out. No, nothing is wrong with her. I just like someone who can have fun with me. Riley's scared of everything. Being around her is exhausting."

I stood behind the door, lost in thought.

I had rarely admitted to being scared in front of him over the past five years.

Even when my heart raced so fast that I could barely breathe while in his car, I'd just grip my seat belt, then hide somewhere and throw up after getting out. I'd rinse my mouth, pull myself together, and go back to him as if nothing had happened.

Apparently, it still wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for him to give me the love I'd always dreamed of, while wearing a face so similar to Zayn's.

My phone buzzed.

Zayn said, "I'm done here. Where are you? I'll come get you."

I gave him the address, my voice catching. "I'll wait for you outside."

"Riley, I'll be there soon." His voice held a hint of reassurance and urgency.

I hung up and turned to leave.

Xavier had finished his call too. He must have overheard mine, because he came over and grabbed my wrist. "Who's picking you up?"