Se connecterI asked Max once.One text, from a number he didn't have, typed with my thumbs pressing so hard the screen dipped. *How did you find me?*His reply came in under a minute.*Does it matter? I found you. That's what matters.*I read it standing in the kitchen with the kettle screaming behind me, and a cold finger traced the back of my neck. Max had never been vague in his life. Max was a man who told you exactly how he'd done something so you'd know how clever he was. This was a man guarding a door.I asked a second time. He didn't answer.I stopped asking. But the question didn't stop. It followed me from room to room like a draft, sitting at the edge of every quiet moment. Who had told him? Who had wanted him standing outside my building with roses, in front of the one man whose opinion of me I couldn't afford to lose?I turned it over so many times it started to wear smooth. Smooth wasn't the same as solved.---"I'm not going.""You're going.""Nate." I gave him my most reasonable v
I smelled the roses before I saw him.Sweet and heavy, that overripe florist smell that clings to the back of your throat. I was halfway up the walkway, keys already out, my feet aching in shoes that had stopped fitting right a week ago, when it hit me. My steps slowed on their own.Max was standing outside the building.He had a bouquet in one hand, a huge one, two dozen at least, red ones. The same red he'd bought me on our first anniversary, back when he still remembered anniversaries. His tie was loosened. His hair was a mess, like he'd been dragging his fingers through it for hours.He looked up and his whole face broke open."Anna."I stopped where I was. Ten feet of cracked concrete between us, and I wanted every inch of it."How do you know where I live?"It came out flat. Not the question I'd meant to ask, but the only one that mattered. I had never told him. I had never told anyone but my mother, and I hadn't even done that."It doesn't matter." He took a step toward me, the
I told myself it was the hormones.That had to be it, some cruel biological trick, chemicals rearranging themselves inside me and making my body confused about who deserved my anger and who didn't. Because there was no version of this that made sense otherwise. No universe where I should feel anything but hatred for a man who'd drugged my drink and carried me down a hallway like cargo.And yet.I caught myself watching him more than I wanted to admit. The way his sleeves rolled up when he worked late, forearms tense with concentration. The low, unbothered timbre of his voice on client calls, the kind of voice that filled a room without ever raising itself. I hated that I noticed any of it. I hated more that some small, humiliating part of me had started looking forward to the moments he glanced up from his laptop and found me already watching.I buried it every time it surfaced.I had no right to feel anything toward Conner except contempt. I reminded myself of that constantly, in the
"Max."I said it too fast, before I'd even fully decided to, the lie leaving my mouth before I could stop and weigh what it would cost me. "Who else would it be?"Nate's face didn't change right away. He just looked at me for a long moment, something working behind his eyes that I couldn't fully read, and then he crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed beside me, careful, like the mattress might give way if he moved too fast."Are you going to keep it?"The question landed heavier than I expected. I thought about the baby I'd lost on that staircase, the eleven happy minutes before everything fell apart, the hollow ache that had lived under my ribs ever since. I thought about how badly I'd wanted this once, before I understood what it would actually cost me to get it."Yes." My voice came out steadier than I felt. "I'm keeping it."Something flickered across Nate's face. He hid it fast, tucking it away behind a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, but I caught it anyway
"You're pregnant?"Conner's voice came out low, careful, his eyes still fixed on the paper in his hand like he was doing math he didn't want the answer to. I opened my mouth, some half-formed explanation already rising in my throat, though I had no idea yet what I was even going to say.I never got the chance to find out."Why didn't you tell me you're pregnant?"Max's voice cracked across the sidewalk like a gunshot, and I turned so fast my neck ached with it, my whole body flooding with a dread so sudden it nearly buckled my knees.He was already crossing toward us, face lit up in a way I hadn't seen since the day I first told him I loved him, years and a lifetime ago. He came to a stop beside me, closer than I wanted him, one hand hovering near my shoulder like he thought he still had the right to touch me."Max." His name came out of me thin, strangled. "What are you doing here?""I have an appointment." He barely glanced at Conner, too consumed by whatever fantasy was already bui
"I'm fine, Nate."I said it three times before he finally believed me, standing in the doorway with his jacket half on, clearly torn between trusting my word and the memory of finding me shaking under three blankets the night before."Text me if anything changes.""I will.""I mean it, Anna.""I know." I managed something close to a smile, gentle enough actually to reassure him. "Go. You've already missed enough because of me."He left reluctantly, glancing back twice before the door finally closed, and I sat in the sudden quiet of the apartment feeling steadier than I had in days, physically, at least. Whatever had knocked me flat seemed to have loosened its grip overnight.My phone buzzed while I was still finishing my tea.*Conner: How are you feeling?*I stared at the message for a long moment, something cold moving through me at the casual concern in it, like a man who'd drugged me and dragged me down a hallway had any right left to ask how I was doing.I didn't reply.I set the







