Five Years

Five Years Later..

“Mommy..mommy. I'm off to school.” Linda rushed down the stairs into the sitting room and she placed a soft peek on the back of my palm and rushed out of the room and out of the door.

I could hear the horning of the bus and the noisy sounds of the kids playing so I went to the window to watch my baby get in and she turned to wave happily at me.

I waved back with the same spirit but deep down I wasn't feeling the same at all. Linda had actually been a twin and my plan to abort the pregnancy had only killed one of the babies, leaving Linda still in my womb and I only found that out when I began to vomit frequently after leaving George.

I had thought it was just an illness, but no, it came with a rising fever and a need for me to check if I was indeed pregnant..

And low and behold, Linda stayed innocently inside of me not knowing what her existence was actually doing to me - I knew that George would come, and he would definitely come back to hunt me.

Hunt me for leaving?

Yes…

I was doomed for good and feared that Linda may be hurt by him or used by him to lure me back in, but I would never accept defeat and go back in.

I returned to the kitchen and turned on the cooker, then I placed a pan on it to begin preparing my pancakes as Linda had usually woken up before me and somehow settled herself, and most times I would ask myself why on earth I wasn't as strong and determined as she was…

But the answer was clear - I was scared, unsettled, stupid and irresponsible.

Irresponsible to the extent that I killed one of the last babies I might ever have, all because I was scared that George would come out from nowhere and take them from me.

But look at me now I was no different from a despicable mom.

I ate the pancakes right after they came off the pan and drank my coffee before heading up the stairs to have my usual five minute shower as I was sure I'd be late for work - as usual.

Once I was done, I rushed to my wardrobe to get my lady office outfit that I had managed to get from a close friend, Rony, who had helped me out when I left George, and if not for her then I don't think I'd have been able to take good care of Linda.

After dressing, I stared bitterly at myself in the mirror and I couldn't for one day regret leaving George, unless I would have remained in the hell of a marriage I was back then. All because of what? - Love?

I snapped the thoughts out of my mind as it would only bring in more pain to me and I was already thirty minutes late to work, and I hadn't even gotten on a bus yet so I hurried out as fast as I could.

Without thinking I rushed into the road attempting to cross it over to the other side but then the next scene that followed was one that nearly took my heart beat away.

I panicked as the car stopped right in front of me and right in time, unless I would have been swept off immediately and for sure the driver would have gotten away with it.

The car door pushed open and I could swear that my jaw dropped when the driver walked out of the car.

“Are you okay, ma'am?” I gulped down even more saliva when I realized that the driver was my boss's secretary and that meant my boss was just right inside the car.

I turned to it and indeed I sighted a dark figure at the back seat of the car staring back at me.

“Would you like a ride to the company, ma'am? I promise the manager won't punish you for arriving late.” He offered and I just couldn't resist it as I didn't want to lose my job as Rony had helped me so much to get the job and losing it would be a total mess for me.

So I got into the back seat of the cab and did well to keep my distance from my boss as I was aware that he hated and despised being disturbed. I had also heard that he had a disorder that made him antisocial and his relationship with people has always been very poor.

After several unbearable silent minutes in the car it finally reached the company and I was as happy as a bride to get out of the cab and get my big butt to my office chair immediately.

But as I rushed out, my boss's secretary, Bates, stopped me.

“You'll need to go in with us so the manager will know that you were indeed delayed by us.” His words were right, so I stayed back and waited for the boss to get out and honestly I won't deny that he was far more handsome than George and maybe even more well built than George was.

‘But you never know the inner beauty of a person as we are only let to the what is on the outside.’ I would always try to remind myself that people pretend to be what they aren't on the inside.

This must have been the first time that I had ever set my eyes on the boss without his usual face mask and intimidating expression and I couldn't shake the feeling that I had once known this face.

Like I had once been close to him as a friend but very long ago, but I just couldn't recall how? How exactly it happened but the feeling just stayed there and I ignored it every time.

We walked into the company and as I expected all eyes fell on us as I stood behind the boss. I got daggers being sent to me by many female staff with their eyes and I couldn't help but chuckle inwardly.

Maybe they now thought I was dating the boss, but honestly I wouldn't make the mistake of falling stupidly in love again..and I meant every bit of it.

It was five years in, and I had promised myself to focus solely on myself and my daughter as I wouldn't let anything or anyone stop me from giving her the best life she deserves..