My Querencia

It's again a beautiful morning with blissful coffee. I am eyeing how the mix of orange and yellow sun rays painted the Eiffel Tower golden. With deep breaths, as usual, my mind ran a series of questions like Where am I from? Who am I? What's my name? Still no answers. It's my daily routine to think about myself why? Cause I can't remember anything. Yep, Anterograde amnesia. I always wonder what kind of life I lived before. It's not like I am not happy with my current life, I have everything I want around me like a job, friends, a lover, and all but I always have this hole in my heart like it wanted to be filled. I don't know what am I searching for. I have many good people who love me here but what's the question is they love the real me or the person whom they see or we say the person I portray them to see me as? The truth is, even I don't know the real me. The moment I recovered from a coma four years ago, all I feel is blank, numb, and hollow in my soul. Later, I got to know I w

It's been a week since the hospital incident. I got busy with my new project. As usual, I drown myself in work. David fly to Las Vegas for a new contract. His company has expanded widely within these three years. He won the Best Entrepreneur award last year, he deserves it cause he worked hard for it. John was so excited about his boyfriend's birthday party tonight. I know I promised him to tag along but I prefer home better. If I chicken out now John will tear me apart so no choice left. And what's the most irritating thing is the makeover. I hate that. Even my mind jumbling about the party tonight I was still preparing a report for this week. John sneaks into my cabin. Even when I noticed it, I acted clueless and glued my gaze to screen. He closed my eyes with his palm, I tsked my tongue and removed his hands. He scoffed and voiced in annoyed tone, "It's already late bitch. Come on let's leave. Don't you remember today's party?" I sighed lightly, turned towards him, and asked, "D

I drove back to our apartment alone. I knew John would stay back with Adam since it was his birthday. I also didn't mind to inform them of my goodbye. My body and mind both were so exhausted by the thoughts of Ian. It's been only a few hours since I got engaged still I cheated on my fiancee, what cheap character have I evolved? I still can't believe what I did with Ian. But why? I knew him barely and I did something intimate with him. I have known David for years, he has been nothing but a gentleman and the perfect boyfriend to me but I can't even kiss him properly on the day we got engaged. With these thoughts, I reached my apartment and opened the door using code. Once I walked in I removed my shoes, and my mind injected his words 'It returned to its place' I wondered what he meant. I dusted the shoes, stuffed them into a box put them on the top shelf.I strolled to the living room and plopped on the couch. After a while, I dragged my lazy self to my room, discarded the clothes we