When Sarah decided to leave the pack, I had known that she was leaving me.The heartbreak that had followed, on top of my trauma had left me in pieces. But I had known that it had been my fault, that I had broken that vibrant, laughing girl who already wore scars on her soul. I should have fought back harder. I should have resisted more. I don’t know why I couldn’t or why I didn’t.But each ugly word that had left my mouth back then, each action, it is imprinted in my brain. The look in her eyes is seared behind my eyeballs and every time I close my eyes, I see her. I see the heartbreak, the betrayal, and it makes me flinch.I wrecked her to the core.And I deserve this.I deserve the nightmares and this aversion to touch. I deserve the listlessness in my soul.But I can’t stop my hands for reaching for her every night.I can’t keep drying out the pillows every time I wake up.As I run in the forest, a russet coloured wolf who looks thinner than before,
I stare at her, my hands clenching by my sides.“You want me to bring her back?” I echo, a cold anger rising in within me. “To do what? Fight this war? Stand at the helm of everything? Have you seen the state she is in?!”Aliya’s eyes are tight as she meets my gaze, “We need her. I’m not saying she needs to fight. I’m saying that for the world to have any kind of future, Sarah needs to be leading the Stone Wolves Pack. Till she was there, we all had a chance. She is a catalyst. That girl is special, Lucas.”I absorb her words but it doesn’t help the anger inside of me.Aliya is talking about Sarah as if she is a thing, something to be used. “She is broken!” I hiss, hating myself for how my voice cracks. “I broke her, Aliya! You expect me to go to her and tell her to come back and see my face every day just to be reminded of what I did to her because you think it’s import-““This is not about you or her, or even me, Lucas!” Aliya’s words are sharp. “This is about the
“He’s still hunting you?” I feel tense on knowing that.My eyes wander around the surroundings as something occurs to me, “Wait, didn’t he destroy this place before?”“He did and I fixed it back up,” Aliya murmurs. “I might be the only free witch he knows right now so I am a threat to him.”Her words strike me as odd, “Free witch? What does that mean?”She doesn’t say anything for a few seconds before murmuring, “I don’t want to say yet. I’m still trying to figure it out. But Damon offered me a place in his territory, within the forest. I prefer to be in nature so…”Her words fade off and I know that Damon probably saw an opportunity and lured her in. He’s clever that way. She looks around, a discomfited expression on her face, “He annoys me but he’s been a good protector every time I have been in danger. And there are little ones in his tribe.”Ah, the children.Aliya likes children.Damon’s tribe is far more advanced than the pack is and I know that he
I stiffen at her words and I want to say something but I just clench my fists. It is a painful reminder to myself that I have no right to interfere, no rights anymore to Sarah.From the look in the female shifter’s eyes, her words had been deliberate. I understand their anger and I choose not to respond.A year after losing Sarah has calmed down my usually explosive temper quite a lot.When we reach the underground garage, I see more vehicles but I don’t comment on it, just helping the wolves out. They rush towards a door on the side and I instinctively know they are going towards wherever Sarah is.Sarah’s ability to summon wolves is one that only a few powerful members of the Clear Mountain Clan have. She retained this ability even after losing her wolf. So, I follow the two wolves without thinking, my hands trembling.They race through the corridors of the den, rushing past people who don’t seem very surprised to see the two wolves but do gave me frowning looks. B
“What do you mean?” My voice rises sharply. However, her eyes go back to purple and she thumps her chest, “She’s empty inside. She doesn’t smile at all. She’s not like she used to be.”I kiss the top of her head, partly in an attempt to comfort her and partly to hide the wetness in my eyes. “Sorry,” I murmur.She’s quiet and then she says, “I have to go to class. But I’ll see you at dinner, okay?”She wriggles out of my hold and rushes off. Picking up Fergus, I look around at the small nursery. I know for the next two three days, he will be allowed to sleep with me in the suite I always stay in. I cherish these days in which I can play with my son, get to know him and my eyes always thirst for Sarah.I know the way to my suite and I carry my son there.My things are already set up and it’s as I’m settling down that there is a knock on the door. When I open the door, it’s to see another familiar face. “Ezekiel,” I nod at him.Ezekiel, the Alpha of the
Ezekiel studies my face, “You look upset.”My jaw clenches and unclenches, “Are you serious? Sarah-““Sarah needs to move on. She needs to find somebody who will love her and allow her to heal in their embrace. Since you want to just lick your wounds and feel sorry for yourself, you’re clearly not the right person.You’re too busy playing the martyr to be any kind of support for her.”His words are a punch in the gut for me but I don’t deny them.I stopped trying to reach out to her, to try and beg her for forgiveness because I convinced myself I wasn’t worth her forgiveness. But to force Ezekiel to look at myself in the mirror is a bitter taste in the mouth.“My priority is my granddaughter,” The older male says, his voice stern, as he gets up. “There are many good men here who would keep her happy and never dare to betray her.”I almost stagger as I watch him leave, my gut twisting painfully.Watch Sarah be with someone else?The anger is a burning intensity in
She goes still at my words.“Please leave,” Her reply is quiet.I kneel by her side, looking at her, “Sarah, I can’t go on like this. I know what I did is unforgivable. But be angry, punish me, hate me. But just come back.”Her hands tighten around the arms of the chair, “I don’t hate you. I know you were being controlled.”“If that was the case, you would-““I’m tired,” She finally looks at me, her eyes hollow. “I’m tired of everything. I’m tired of fighting. I don’t want to do this anymore. Just go and be happy.”My voice breaks, my heart cracking, “How am I supposed to be happy without you in my life? I have been living in hell since that day that creature walked into our den. Every word, every action is imprinted into my brain. Everything I did to you is - I was a bastard to you but I never meant it. I can’t do this without you, Sarah. I can’t do any of this without you. I’ll-““Stop,” Her hand curls into a fist. “I’m not coming back, Lucas. This is my home now
Seeing Sarah smile, even if it’s a tiny smile, at another man, it’s like a punch in the gut for me.For a moment, all the air leaves my body in a vicious manner. I stare in her direction, my grip on Fergus tight as my body trembles.‘She’s not smiled even once.’That’s not true, I think to myself, the pain a raw gnawing feeling within me. There is someone who makes her smile. It’s just not me anymore.The male puts his hand on her shoulder and she doesn’t remove it.Almost as if she’s used to it.I hear the crackle of thunder and Fergus lets out a distressed whine.Even all the way across, Sarah immediately shifts and her eyes meet mine.I feel numb as I stare at her, the sight of his hand on her shoulder making me feel cold inside. For the first time, I feel all alone. Till now, there had been this small hope, this desire that maybe things will work out between us but Sarah has clearly begun to move on.Maybe that’s what she had meant back then. She