Entering into my room, my eye immediately notices something laid on my bed. Leaning closer , I see that it is a note.
~ Something crazy. Meet me on the roof
C~A small grin forms on my face as I place my book on my bed. Not even thinking twice, I get out of there, getting ready for this ' something crazy '.
My eyes don't miss Connor sitting on the bench that we had sat on once upon a time, I stand in front of him with the note in hand. " Found your note."
" Good," he says before rising to his feet and grabs ahold of my hand, then walks with me to the center of the roof.<
" You're ignoring me." He points out." I don't know what you're talking about." I say, not even opening my eyes.Of course I know what he's talking about, for most of the day, I haven't spoken to him, because I woke up this morning and decided that if he was not going to answer my question, then I'll let him get a feel of being the one left hanging, not knowing.Childish I know , but my curiosity isn't agreeing with that right about now. So I'm under a tree, lying on the grass and just enjoying myself, well trying to .I hear him sigh before I feel him sit right next to me."This is about last night, isn't it?" He asks.Peeking a look at him, I say. " Last night, what about last night?"I open both my eyes, to see him frown at me." Bea, you know what I'm talking about." He whines." Do I, really?" I know that I must be annoying him
The morning sun creeps in and I'm welcomed by a heartbeat beneath my ear, as well as a hard chest. I feel eyes on me and that's when everything starts to come back to me. In the early hours of the morning one of my nightmares had taken over, I caught myself screaming and was about to wallow in the darkness but everything changed, when Connor was here and with no questions asked, he comforted me and let me depend on him for strength, he was here again and had stayed with me.Looking up at him with my chin on his chest, I see him smiling down at me." Morning." I say, my voice a little croaky due to the morning effect." Good morning to you too." He says and like that, we remain looking at each other.Breaking the moment I move away so I can sit upright." Nice to know you snore." He teases and I frown at him." I do not!" I protest ." Umm, I had to block my ears thank
Unsure. That's how I feel right about now.Staring myself at the mirror, I look different and not only that, I feel unlinke my normal casual self." Okay, one last thing." She says coming up behind me."What?" I hope it's not some jewelery or worse, make up, because I'm happy with what I have on now, just light gloss."Have fun." I turn around to face her, where she gives me a small smile.I trail my eyes down to my feet. I can't take her smile anymore since it's rubbing off on me.There's a jolt of excitement while the bigger part of fear, for feeling and looking this different weighs on me, even though it's just me in a dress.A dress, geez ,when was the last time I wore a dress, I mean it's been years since I've worn a dress and actually identifying myself as less then what many have claimed me as. A freak." Okay wear your shoes
There are moments in life you'd wish to forget while others, you want them to stay in mind and to never vanish. That's what last night is to me, a night that has me wondering about the state of mine and Connor's relationship.What happens now?I can't lie and say that I'm not afraid of what had happened, it having a negativity to what I've grown accustomed to, our real friendship. I mean last night I experienced my first ever real kiss, a kiss that made me feel butterflies swooning in my belly and still are.I might be scared but I can't hide the fact that every time I think about him, and of course the kiss, I still feel tingles on my lips, proving the lasting effects that something honest and true can do to someone. I haven't seen him and the more I don't, the more doubt and regret weighs on me, since I don't really know how he's feeling today. Last night was all about the moment and now that it is over, and today is a new day, I don't know if - .Vicky
Turning a blind eye on what's in front of me has me at loggerheads with both denial and the truth. Denial, because for the past two days all I've been doing is acting like Connor and I didn't kiss, or that just him being close makes my heart to beat fast and breath to come out short.Oh I can't forget the butterflies in my belly.The truth is, whether I'd like to admit it or not, I want him to kiss me again and for me to go back to the feeling of being wrapped up in a bubble, with just the two of us.Vicky is right to tell me to not rush into things because I don't want to, I don't want to rush on a train that I can only get so far on, before I lose control of the ride.I will not lie and say I know all about the matters of the heart because I'm as clueless as a baby, I've never done anything, except Saturday night when Connor became my first ever kiss.I know many may be wondering a
Eyes are on me, I can feel them, making me to wake up. As I thought, right next to me, Connor is straight up staring at me with a small smile on his face." Morning." I say, sitting up." Morning, sleep well?" He asks." Yes thank you." Looking at him, I see that his smile is an easy and content one, making me curious of his sudden mood." Mind telling me what that smile is for?"" Oh can't anyone smile in this fine morning." He almost sing songs, making me want to laugh at him." O -kay, well I should be getting going." I start moving but don't get far when he pulls me back in place ."Stay, at least for another 5 minutes.""Oh miss me already?" I tease with my brow quirked up.Being so fascinated with his hair ,I reach out my hand and start running my fingers through his hair, which is so soft by the way and I love
Hands intertwined, stolen glances , secret kisses and nightly chats, that's been us in these few days passed. I can't describe how I feel, my heart feels lighter and I find myself automatically smiling for no reason when I see him, it's almost like we have known each other for such a long time but are still able to learn something new from each other, each day that passes.Vicky hasn't said much concerning the two of us, but she gives off hints of where she might be at, with me catching her glancing our way and giving off a smile, making me a bit at ease with she being happy for me.The thing with knowing her so much, I've learnt to see beyond that smile of hers, that's why I didn't miss the concern in her eyes, the same concern that I sometimes have and not only about Connor but my mom.The same mother who had visited me a few times but even then, I never told her about Connor, I don't know. For some reason I feel l
A good morning, that's what it should be and it is, with the sun getting its heat on so early in the morning and of course the fresh air from the window, except for me feeling regret about last night's argument.Gazing out the window and just getting lost in thought about nothing, a sigh escapes me at the realization that maybe I should just make the first move and go and apologize, because truthfully I miss him already.There's a knock on the door, surely interrupting my thoughts. " Come in." I say without looking behind me.Must be Vicky with my gummie bears or one of the guardians.Thoughts of who's here go out the window when I feel arms wrap around my waist slowly. My body tenses up for a moment, and that's when he almost moves back and lets go of me, but I pull his arms back around me and lean back against his chest."Baby girl I'm sorry." He says close to my ear, show