Chapter 5

Asher's POV

I didnt sleep much that night-

Every time I closed my eyes I saw Ellie standing in our living room-

Crying.

I could still hear her voice.

Was I a mistake?

I hadn't answered her properly.

I couldn't.

Because the truth was complicated-

Ellie wasnt a bad person- She was kind.

Loyal.

Warm.

She had been there before anyone else knew my name.

Before the company.

Before the board.

Before the interviews and photographs and people shaking my hand because they wanted something from me.

She had known me when I was just Asher.

And maybe that was the problem- I had fallen in love with her when I was just Asher.

A boy.

An eighteen-year-old who thought love was enough to build a life on-

It wasnt-

I had spent years telling myself that it was.

That we would eventually tell our families.

That I'd eventually make her my wife publicly.

That everything would somehow fall into place.

But now I was CEO.

Every decision I made mattered.

Every person beside me mattered.

The company had relationships with people who had more influence than I could afford to ignore.

And Olivia made sense.

Her family made sense.

Her world made sense.

Ellie didn't․

I hated the thought of it․

But I couldn't pretend I didn't․

He wished he had never fallen in love with Ellie․

Marrying her had been an even bigger risk․

And I feel so ashamed for admitting it․

Not because there was anything wrong with Ellie․

There was something wrong with me․

I'd simply spent too many years pretending that the life I'd built with her was the life I wanted․

It wasn't․

At least‚ that's what I kept telling myself․

The next morning I was at my office before eight․

I had three meetings.

Two calls.

A board briefing.

A dozen emails waiting for my attention.

It should have been enough to keep my mind occupied

It wasnt-

I kept thinking about the envelope I'had left on the table-

The divorce papers.

Maybe she'd signed them already.

Maybe she understood.

Maybe this would finally be over.

There was a knock at the door

I didnt look up

"Come in," I said.

The door opened.

I heard footsteps.

Then—

"Can we talk?" Ellie asked.

I froze.

I looked up.

She was standing in my office․

My stomach dropped․

"What are you doing here?" I asked․

She looked nervous․

"I came to talk to you‚" she said․

"You shouldn't be here‚" I said․

"I know‚ but you wouldn't listen last night‚" she said․

My jaw tightened․

"Ellie‚ this isn't the place‚" I said․

"I just want five minutes‚" she said․

"No‚" I said․

She stepped closer.

"Please," she said.

I stood from my desk.

"Did you even think about what you're doing?" I asked.

She looked confused.

"What?" she asked in confusion․

"You came to my office‚" I said․

"Because you're my husband," she said.

I felt my temper rise instantly.

"Don't say that here-" I said

She stared at me-

"Why?" she asked-

"Because someone could hear you" I said-

Her expression changed.

"You mean you don't want anyone to know," she said.

"That's not what I said-" I said

"It is-" she said

I walked around my desk.

"You need to leave," I said.

"I don't want a divorce," she said.

I stopped.

"That isn't your decision alone," I said.

"It's our marriage," she said.

"There shouldn't have been a marriage in the first place," I said.

Her face fell.

I should have stopped.

I didn't․

"You can't just walk into my office and expect me to throw away everything I've built because you're uncomfortable with the decision I've made‚" I said․

Tears started to fill her eyes․

"I was your wife before you became CEO‚" she said․

"And I'm CEO now‚" I said․

She stared at me․

I knew that sounded cruel․

I said it anyway․

"You need to understand that my life has changed‚" I said․

"Apparently I didn't change with it‚" she said․

"Exactly‚" I said․

She went quiet.

I could see her trying not to cry.

Some part of me wanted to take it back.

Instead, I became angrier.

Not at her.

At the situation.

At myself.

At the possibility that someone outside that office could walk in and see her standing there-,

"Do you have any idea what would happen if someone found out?-" I asked,.

"They would know we are married-" she said.

"They'd know I've been lying to everyone," I said.

"They'd know you have a wife," she said.

"Stop," I said.

She flinched-

I immediately regretted raising my voice,

But I was already too angry to stop-

"You cant come here again" I said-

"I only wanted to talk to you-" she said

"We're done talking-" I said

Her lips trembled

"Fine" she said

She picked up her bag

I watched her walk toward the door

Before she left- she turned around

"I loved you before you had any of this" she said

I said nothing

She looked at me for another second

Then she left

The door closed

I stood there staring at it.

My breathing was heavy.

My hands were clenched.

I hated myself.

And somehow I still believed I was right because I was right

The rest of the day was unbearable-

I worked.

Or at least I pretended to.

Every few minutes my mind returned to Ellie's face

The way she had looked at me when I told her to leave

The way she had tried not to cry.

I rubbed my eyes

I hadnt meant to humiliate her-

I hadnt meant to be cruel-

I had simply panicked

She couldnt understand what was at stake.

Or maybe she could.

But she was my friend- she can still be my friend

By six most of the office had emptied,-

I sat alone behind my desk.

The city outside the windows was beginning to light up.

I thought about Ellie.

I thought about our marriage.

Our childhood.

The first time she kissed me.

The registry office.

The tiny restaurant afterwards.

Her laughing because I'd ordered too much food.

I missed that version of us.

Maybe I didn't miss being her husband.

Maybe I missed being her friend.

That was easier to admit.

I picked up my phone.

I almost called her.

Instead, I stopped.

What would I say?

I'm sorry.

It wasn't enough.

I wanted to make things right somehow.

Not the marriage.

That was already over.

But maybe we could still be friends-

Maybe one day she could forgive me-,

Maybe we could look back at everything without hating each other-

It was a ridiculous thought.

But it was the only one I had.

I grabbed my keys-

I had go to her workplace-

I would apologise-

I would tell her I hadnt meant to treat her that way-

Then we would figure out how to end things without destroying each other-

The drive to Ellie's office took longer than it should have-

Traffic was heavy-

I barely noticed it-

My mind kept going back to her-

And, strangely, to something else.

Her job.

I'd never liked the idea of her working.

I just didnt think she understood the kind of environment she was stepping into-

Corporate offices weren't harmless-

People watched everything-

People talked.

People flirted.

People crossed boundaries.

And Ellie had always been too trusting.

Too polite.

She assumed people meant well

I had told her before that she didnt need to work

She could stay home-

She could focus on herself.

On us.

I'd offered to take care of everything.

She'd refused.

She wanted her own career.

Her own money.

Her own identity.

I'd respected that once.

Now I found myself wondering if I was right

She wasnt made for this world

She didnt know how to read people

She didnt know when someone was getting too close

And she had always been too emotional

I had told her that she needed to be careful

She hadnt listened

By the time I reached her building, 

The building was mostly dark.

I walked through the reception area and took the elevator upstairs-

I knew where her office was.

I'd been there once before.

The corridor was quiet.

I approached her door.

It was slightly open.

I was about to knock when I heard laughter-

I stopped

Someone was inside.

I pushed the door open.

And froze.

Ellie was standing near her desk and Thomas Hayes- her manager, was standing in front of her-

He was too close.

Much too close.

Ellie looked uncomfortable.

I watched for a second.

Then Thomas leaned toward her.

She barely had time to react.

His lips touched hers.

My entire body went still.

For a second, I couldn't move.

Then one thought came to me.

So this is how quickly she's moved on?

Maybe she'd been desperate to prove she could replace me.

Maybe she wanted me to see.

Maybe this was her way of punishing me.

The thought made my blood boil.

"What the hell is going on?" I shouted.

They pulled apart.

Ellie's face went pale.

"Asher?" she said.

I stepped into the room.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She immediately shook her head.

"No, Asher. It's not what you think," she said.

I laughed once, without humour.

"It looked pretty clear to me," I said.

"It wasn't," she said quickly.

I looked at Thomas.

Then back at her.

"So what was it?" I asked.

"A misunderstanding," she said.

I stared at her.

"A misunderstanding?" I repeated.

"Yes," she said. "He kissed me. I didn't ask him to."

Thomas looked down.

"She's—" he began.

I turned toward him.

"Stay out of this," I shouted.

Ellie stepped between us.

"Don't shout ," she said.

I looked at her.

"You were kissing him," I said.

"No, I wasn't," she said.

"You didn't exactly look surprised," I said.

Her expression hardened.

"Because I was shocked-" she said. 

"I didn't know what to do for a second-"

I said nothing.

She took a breath.

"I was talking to him about something completely unrelated-" she said-

"He misunderstood the situation and before I could stop him- he kissed me-"

Thomas remained silent.

Ellie looked at him.

"Thomas, just leave," she said.

He looked at her.

"Ellie—" he said.

"Please," she said. "Just go."

Thomas picked up his jacket.

The door closed behind him.

I looked at Ellie.

She looked helpless.

And somehow, that only made me angrier.

"Asher, please listen to me."

"I have heard enough-"

"No you haven't," she said- 

"You haven't listened to a single thing I have said-" she continued her justification

"I saw him kissing you-"

"He kissed me-"

"You expect me to believe that?-"

"Yes!" she said. "Because its the truth-"

I stared at her

"You know what?-" I asked

She wiped her tears

"This is exactly why I told you not to work-"

Her expression changed

"What does my job have to do with this?-" she asked

"Everything"

"No- it doesnt"

"I told you that you werent ready for this kind of environment-" I said

Her eyes widened

"You told me I didnt need to work"

"I told you that because I knew you didnt understand how professional environments worked-"

"I know how to work."

"Do you?"

She stared at me.

"I've been working perfectly well."

"Apparently not."

Her face tightened.

"You don't get to blame me for what another person did․"

"I told you people would take advantage of you because of how you act․"․"

I shook my head․

"I came here feeling guilty about the way I treated you this morning․"

Her eyes softened slightly.

"I wanted to apologize․"

She took a small step‚ toward me․

"Then why are you doing this?" she asked․

"Because I was wrong to feel sorry for you."

Her face fell.

"I thought you were the woman I married," I said.

"I am."

"No."

I looked at her coldly.

"I don't recognize you."

Tears slipped down her cheeks.

"I haven't changed." she sobbed

"Maybe I just finally see you clearly." I replied

She shook her head.

"Don't say that." she said in a low voice

"You really think I wanted this?" she added

"I don't know what you wanted." I replied honestly

"I wanted my husband." She answered

The words caught me off guard.

"I wanted you," she said. "I still do."

I looked away.

"Don't." I stopped her

"Why?" she asked-

"Because we are getting divorced-"

Her face crumpled,-

She wiped her tears with trembling fingers-

"I didn't cheat on you." she said

"I don't trust you." I replied in a loud tone this time.

She went still.

Those words seemed to hurt her more than anything else I had said

But I wasnt finished

"Maybe this is who you are when I am not aroun-" I said honestly because I have started doubting her 

"No." She shook her head

"I don't know anymore." I said

Then she whispered‚ "You really think I'm that kind of woman?"

I should have stopped․

I should have listened to my anger․

"I think you're behaving like a woman with no boundaries‚" I said․

Her face went pale․

"And honestly‚ Ellie‚ after seeing you with another man‚ I don't know what else I'm supposed to think. I dont even know what you have been doing all these years during our marraige․"

She gazed at me through her tears․

For a moment‚ neither of us spoke․

Then she picked up her bag․

"I came here this morning because I wanted to save our marriage‚" she said․

I kept quiet․

"Now I'm standing here defending my character to the man who promised me he'd always believe me․" Ellie said as she walked toward the door․