Chapter 6

Ellie's POV

The next morning, I woke up with one thought.

I needed to talk to Asher.

I might be very stupid that, even after what happened in the office, I am trying to go back to him.

But I just needed to talk to him properly.

Maybe yesterday had been too much.

Maybe if I could make him sit down and listen to me without the pressure, he would remember us.

Remember what we had been before all of this.

Before the company.

Before Olivia.

And maybe my heart still believed that ...

He still loved me.

I had to believe that.

Because if he didnt I didnt know what I was supposed to do with all the years we had spent together-

And there was the baby.

Our baby.

I placed my hand over my stomach as I sat on the edge of the bed-.

He didnt know yet-.

That was the one thing I hadnt been able to tell him-.

Part of me wanted to tell him immediately.

Another part of me was terrified of what his reaction would be-

Would he look at me differently?-

Would he stay because he wanted to?-

Or would he stay because he felt obligated?

I didnt want my child to ever wonder whether their father had stayed because he loved them or because he had no other choice-

I took a deep breath-

I would talk to him first.

Then I would tell him.

Maybe everything could still be fixed.

Maybe........

I got dressed and drove to the Thorne residence.

I hadn't been there in weeks.

It felt strange walking up to the front door.

I had spent so many years coming here as Asher's best friend.

Then as his girlfriend.

And eventually as his wife.

Except nobody knew about that last part of me being the girlfriend and wife.

I rang the bell.

A few seconds later, the door opened.

Helen stood there.

Her face immediately brightened.

"Eleanor." Helen greeted me with a wide smile

I forced a smile.

"Good morning." I replied

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I wanted to see Asher." I told her

Before she could answer, I heard Richard's voice from somewhere inside.

"Who is it?" Richard asked from a distance

Helen stepped aside.

"Ellie." She replied

Richard appeared in the hallway.

He smiled when he saw me.

"Well, this is a pleasant surprise." He said 

"Good morning, Mr. Thorne." I smiled back.

"Don't call me that. You know better," he replied with a small laugh

I almost laughed.

Almost.

Then I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

My heart stopped.

Asher.

He appeared at the end of the hallway wearing a dark shirt and trousers his sleeves rolled up-

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

For a second, neither of us said anything.

There was so much I wanted to say.

Why did you do this to us?

Why don't you love me anymore?

Why are you pretending I never existed?

Why are you asking me to give you a divorce when I'm carrying your child?

But none of it came out.

His eyes moved away first.

"Ellie." Asher said

Helen looked between us.

"I didn't know you two had plans," she said.

"We don't," Asher replied.

I looked at him.

"I came to talk to you." I said

His jaw tightened slightly.

Before he could answer, 

"Oh, actually, you're here at the perfect time." Helen spoke as she suddenly grabbed my hand.

I blinked.

"What?" I asked

"The engagement," she said with a cheerful voice

My stomach dropped.

I almost pulled my hand away.

Helen smiled excitedly.

"There is so much left to do. I have been trying to manage everything myself, but I can't." she contined

She looked at me hopefully.

"Would you help me?" she asked

I stared at her.

Help her.

With Asher's engagement to Olivia.

I looked at Asher.

Our eyes met again.

He didn't say anything.

He just stood there.

Waiting.

I should have said no.

I should have walked out.

I should have told Helen that I couldn't possibly help arrange the engagement of the man I was secretly married to.

Instead, I heard myself say,

"Of course." I told her

Helen smiled.

"Really?" Helen asked me again

I nodded.

"Of course."

"You're an angel," she said and gave me a side hug

She pulled me inside.

I followed her.

I didn't look at Asher again.

If I did, I wasn't sure I would be able to keep my face straight.

The next few hours were a blur.

Helen had lists everywhere.

Flowers.

Catering.

Guest arrangements.

Invitations.

Decorations.

She showed me photographs of different arrangements and asked for my opinion.

I answered every question.

"This one looks better." Helen asked

"Maybe something simpler here," I replied, remembering Asher taste for having everything simple when it comes to events.

"I think these flowers would work." I told Helen

"Yes, that colour would match the venue." she replied

I helped her choose table settings.

I checked invitation details.

I spoke to the decorator.

I even helped her decide where Olivia's family would sit.

Every decision felt like another small piece of my heart being pulled apart.

And yet I kept smiling.

Helen didn't notice.

Why would she?

She thought I was helping a family she had always considered my second home.

She didn't know I was helping plan the wedding celebrations of my own husband and another woman.

At one point, Helen handed me two invitation samples.

"Which one do you prefer?" she asked

I stared at them.

Both had their names printed beautifully.

Asher Thorne & Olivia Sinclair.

My fingers tightened around the paper.

I swallowed.

"This one," I told her

Helen smiled.

"I thought so too," she replied

I gave it back to her.

"Good." My voice sounded normal.

I was proud of myself for that.

Then I felt someone watching me.

I looked up.

Asher stood across the room.

He had been talking to his father, but his attention was on me.

Our eyes met.

There was something in his expression.

Not love.

Not exactly.

Guilt, maybe.

Or discomfort.

I couldn't tell.

I looked away first.

I didn't want his pity.

I didn't need it-

At least thats what I kept telling myself-

By late afternoon, most of the arrangements were done-

Helen finally sat down on the sofa.

"I dont know what I would have done without you-"

I smiled.

"You would've managed," I told her honestly

"Not like this-" Helen replied as she reached over and squeezed my hand,.

"You have always been so good at these things-," I told her as I looked down staring at my shoes-

There was something painfully ironic about hearing her say that-

She had no idea how much I had done for Asher.

How many times I had convinced myself that being understanding was what made me a good wife.

And now I was sitting in his parents' house helping them prepare for his future with someone else.

I wondered if this was what being erased felt like.

Not being thrown out.

Not being screamed at.

Just slowly being replaced until nobody remembered you had ever been there.

It was almost evening when Helen went upstairs to take a call.

Richard had left for a meeting.

That left Asher and me alone.

The house suddenly felt too quiet.

I stood near the dining table, pretending to look through the invitation samples.

I heard footsteps behind me.

"Ellie." He said

I closed my eyes for a second.

Then turned around.

"Yes?"

He stopped a few feet away.

"Thank you," Asher said

I almost laughed.

Not because it was funny.

Because I didn't know whether to cry or laugh at the absurdity of it.

"For what?" I asked

"For helping my mother." he said

I nodded.

"She needed help." I replied

"You didn't have to." he said

"I know." I replied

He looked at me for a moment.

Then he sighed.

"I know yesterday wasn't easy, I shouldn't have reacted that way." He spoke

My throat tightened.

"I don't want to keep fighting with you." I said

"Neither do I." he replied

"Then maybe we can make this easier." he continued

"How?" I asked as I stare him

He hesitated.

"If you need anything after the divorce, I'll help." Asher said

I felt something inside me crack.

"After the divorce?" I asked

"Yes," he replied

"You've already decided it's happening," I said

He looked at me.

"I think we both know it has to," he said

"No, Asher." My voice shook.

"I don't know that, and I don't want to," I said honestly

"Ellie." He rubbed his jaw.

"Do you?" I spoke with a shivering voice

He didn't answer.

I stepped closer.

"Do you really not love me anymore?" I asked

His expression changed.

For the first time all day, I saw irritation in his eyes.

"Why do you keep asking me that?" He said as he gritted his teeth

"Because I need to know." I replied

He exhaled sharply.

"I've told you where I stand." he replied

"You told me you want a divorce." I said

"Yes." he replied

"That's not what I asked." I said

He looked at me.

I could feel tears building behind my eyes.

"Do you love me?" I asked again

His jaw tightened.

"Ellie, stop," he said in an irritated voice

"Just answer me." I said

"I don't love you." He replied in a louder tone this time

The words came out quickly.

Too quickly.

Like he wanted to get them over with.

I stared at him.

"Thank you for finally answering," I said as I could feel tears forming in my eyes

He took a step toward me.

"Ellie—"

I stepped back.

"No," I said

He stopped.

"I don't need you to feel sorry for me." I continued

He kept quiet for a few seconds, but soon his face became unreadable.

"You need to sign the papers," Asher said

My heart sank.

"I know."

"And I'll make sure you're taken care of," he added

I stared at him.

"I don't want your money," I replied honestly.

Before Asher could answer, I heard footsteps coming from the hallway.

I turned.

Olivia stood there.

For a second, I couldn't breathe.

She looked perfectly composed, dressed in a cream blouse and tailored trousers, her hair falling neatly over her shoulders.

She looked like she belonged here. Like she had always belonged here.

Her eyes moved from Asher to me.

My heart started beating faster.

Had she heard us?

Had she heard me asking him if he loved me?

Had she heard him say he didn't?

The thought made my stomach twist.

I looked at Asher.

He didn't look surprised to see her.

"Olivia," he said.

She gave him a small smile.

"I was looking for you," she said and moved towards Asher

Then her eyes settled on me.

"Hello, Ellie," she said calmly.

I swallowed.

"Hi." I replied

She walked into the room.

For a moment, nobody spoke.

I waited for her to look angry.

Instead, she looked almost... bored.

Then she glanced at Asher.

"You told me she would be here only for a while." Olivia spoke

My eyes widened.

I looked at him.

"You told her?" I asked him

Asher didn't answer immediately.

Olivia did.

"Of course he did." She replied

She gave me a small smile.

"We've discussed everything," she added

Everything.

The word echoed in my head.

"You knew about the marriage?" I asked.

"Yes." Olivia nodded.

My face went cold.

I looked at Asher.

He wouldn't meet my eyes.

Something inside me sank..

"When did you tell her?" I asked him.

"Ellie, it doesn't matter," Asher replied

"It matters to me," I said

He sighed.

"After the engagement announcement and dinner, I told her. I want my relationship with her to be without any lies. It was Olivia's idea to ask for the divorce first, and then we will go ahead with the engagement ceremony Asher said

I stared at him as the way he said it now made it sound like some embarrassing chapter of his life.

Olivia folded her arms.

"There's no reason to make this more difficult than it needs to be." She said

"Excuse me?" I looked at her.

"I know this isn't easy for you." she said as she stepped closer.

I almost laughed.

"You don't know anything about what's easy or difficult for me," I replied

"I know enough." Her voice remained calm.

That somehow made every word worse.

"Asher told me everything. You were young. You made a mistake. You got married without thinking about what your lives would become."

"A mistake?" I stared at them.

"That's what it was, wasn't it?" Olivia said as she looked at Asher briefly and then back at me.

I couldn't speak.

Because Asher didn't correct her.

He didn't say no.

He didn't say that I wasn't a mistake.

He just stood there.

Silent.

My chest tightened.

"You both need to move on." Olivia continued.

Both.

As if we were two people who had simply made an unfortunate decision.

As if we hadn't spent years loving each other.

As if there hadn't been a time when Asher had looked at me like I was the only person in the world.

I shook my head.

"You don't get to tell me when I should move on." I told her

"I'm not trying to be cruel." she replied as her expression hardened slightly.

It was the kind of sentence people said immediately before being cruel.

"I'm simply being realistic." she added

I looked at her.

She studied me from head to toe.

Then she said quietly,

"You've known Asher since you were children, Ellie. That doesn't mean you belong in his life now."

My fingers curled into my palms.

"What exactly are you trying to say?" I asked

Olivia smiled faintly.

"I'm saying that his life has changed," Olivia said as she gestured around the house.

"This family has expectations. A certain image. A certain standard," she added

I stared at her.

She continued.

"And honestly, if you want me to be completely truthful..."

She paused.

"With your looks and your personality, you wouldn't even fit in here as household help."

My entire body went still.

For a second, I wasn't sure I'd heard her correctly.

Asher heard it too.

He didn't react.

Not a word.

Not a frown.

Nothing.

That hurt more than what she had said.

I looked at him, waiting.

Surely he would say something.

Surely he would tell her to stop.

He didn't.

Olivia looked at me again and said

"You need to understand that Asher has outgrown the life you had together."

My eyes burned.

"Did he tell you that?" I asked

She glanced at Asher.

"He didn't have to." Olivia replied

I looked at Asher again.

"Is that what you think of me?" I asked

He rubbed his jaw.

"Ellie, this isn't helping." Asher said

I stared at him.

"She just insulted me." I said

"I heard her." he replied

"And you're saying this isn't helping?" Asher spoke as his expression hardened.

"I don't want a scene." Asher continued

A scene.

That was what I was now

A scene.

Not his wife.

Not the girl who had grown up beside him.

Not the woman he had once promised forever to.

Just a problem standing between him and Olivia.

I felt something inside me break quietly.

Olivia sighed.

"Nobody is trying to hurt you." Olivia said

I looked at her.

"You've done enough." I told her

She raised an eyebrow.

"I think you're misunderstanding the situation." she replied

"No," I said quietly.

"I think I'm finally understanding it." I added

For the first time, Olivia looked slightly uncomfortable.

But Asher didn't.

He simply looked exhausted.

"Ellie," he said, "you need to go." Asher said

I stared at him.

I felt tears slip down my cheek.

I wiped them away immediately.

I refused to cry in front of them.

"I came because I thought maybe there was still something left between us," I told him

He looked away.

"There isn't." He replied in a quiet voice

Final.

I nodded slowly.

"Right."

I picked up my bag.

My hands were shaking.

As I walked toward the door, I stopped for one second.

I looked back at him.

He was standing beside Olivia and soon leaned toward her and kissed her before he whispered something to her.

They looked like they belonged together.

And I suddenly understood something I had been refusing to accept.

I wasn't fighting for my marriage anymore.

I was fighting against the version of me that Asher had already decided was no longer good enough for him.

I opened the door.

"Goodbye, Asher."

He didn't answer.

I walked out.

And this time, I didn't look back.